[echobunny89]

Hello! T will be here two weeks this Friday and so far I have had to:

1. Replace her eyeglass frames because her glasses were made up of different parts from used glasses (one earpiece had been chewed on, not by T but the previous child whose glasses the piece came from)

2. Get her haircut, it was so long she sat on it when she sat down and it was full of frayed deadends- previous FM hadn't taken her for a hair cut EVER the entire 2 yrs she had T.

3. Treat her hands for warts. Her little hads are full of warts (more than 10 of them on one hand alone) and some are pretty huge!

4. Buy her an entire wardrobe because what the previous FM sent with her either didn't fit or was something I wouldn't put my dog in!

5. Make an appointment for her to go to the dentist because the previous FM hadn't taken her

I told the SW about all this with an email and I wonder if anything will be said/done to the previous FM. It would seem to me that the previous FM barely even met the bare minimum standards of care for T. What are your opinions? Am I expecting too much from the foster care system as far as standards of care? Or is this just the way it is and something I should just learn to accept and deal with?

[Chancey]

I wouldn't just stop at telling the caseworker. Call it into the abuse hotline!! The child's caseworker in our state (TX) is not the investigator, so, they are not typically up to date on investigative training.

Additionally, it is the law in TX that if you know of abuse you have to report it to our Statewide Hotline. If I were you, that is what I would do!!

[mckenna]

it is foster parents like these that give us well meaning foster parents a bad name. my foster children have always and will always be treated like one of my children, until they no longer live with me. they have b-day parties, receive regular medical and dental care and always have plenty of clothes. i really hope this foster home is scrutinzed more closely.

on a side note you cannot have a foster child's hair cut without permission from the bio parents, so that may be why she did not have it cut.

glad you are there to make sure your daughter's needs are now being met

[echobunny89]

I wish I could say that the reason T's hair was never taken care of was because of bio-mom's refusal to get it cut - but I can't. Bio-mom actually requested that T's hair be cut because if was too long and she also asked that T's warts be taken care of. She even bought medicine herself and gave it to the SW to give to T's FM but the FM never treated the warts.


I agree with mckenna, that now I know T will always be taken care of and I feel better for it. But I worry about the foster children out there that might get placed in T's place at her old foster home. I want to make sure that no other child has to go through what T did but I'm not sure that the FM even did anything wrong other than not try to go above and beyond the very minimal standards of care. Only giving minimal care is not a crime, well not legally anyway. I think it is morally wrong but you can't take someone's license because of that.

[AmyAnne]

One of A's placements did some stuff similar, especially the dentist thing. I passed on all we learned and his agency no longer uses this family.

[kforkids]

the state is still going to place with T's former FM????? THat sounds crazy given what you've shared!!! Call your licensing worker and see what they suggest.

[cb131]

I am suprised about the dentist & the eye glasses.I have to take them to the dentist every 6 months faithfully & have papers filled out.My cw visits every 2-3 weeks.She will always sit with the kids.I have to write weekly reports,turn in reciepts for clothing.I would do all this anyway but knowing Im watched definitly gets me moving.

[echobunny89]

I honestly don't know if they will place any more children there. I overheard the SW tell the supervisor at B's group home that they were pursuing complaints against T's previous foster parent mainly for interferring with the transition from her home to mine and also for moving without telling the department (which is a HUGE no-no).


I don't want to ask the SW for details because I don't want her thinking I am a nosey busy-body. I sure hope something will be done but the previous foster sister keeps calling here and telling T that they are getting 2 new foster kids soon. I don't know if what this child says is true or if she is just saying it to get under T's skin (she always has something hurtful to say to T when she calls) I've been watching the caller ID and not answering the phone when she calls anymore. I want T to break ties with this family ASAP. The SW said I should do that even though the therapist recommended that they remain in contact.

[TexasJingles]

The former ff of our younger 2 sound a lot like yours. No dentals, no doctor, worn-out "new" clothes (they had spent $100 of clothing allowance from Oct 1 to Oct 22 when they moved to us -- where?), hair that was so nasty no one wanted to touch it, active ring worm, the worst case of dandruff the doctor had ever seen... just bad, bad, bad!

I reported all this to the caseworker, many times, sometimes she'd say "unbelievable" and other times she'd say it never happened. Definately wishy-washy.

At 1st the caseworker told us no contact and then said that the kids could call when they wanted. We called a few times, but no answer which really tore up the kids. We finally put a stop to all this (with therapist and agency approval and insistance, not cwr) and told the kids that perhaps it hurt too much right now for them to hear their voice and that's why they weren't answering or returning calls. Cwr chewed us out for this. OH well! It was best for the kids!

The only good thing is that that home is now closed. Not by the state or agency though, it was their request. They had taken placement of an infant 3 months before the removal of our 2 and adopted her. I guess that's what they were after and stopped after that.

At least T is now being taken care of the way she should. She may not appreciate that right now, all the time, but she will. C thanked us a few days ago and said she'd never had parents like us before and she was glad she was here.

[bjhv5]

Our J ( now 29 months) came to us from another fhome @20 months and smelled like vomit,had a horrible URI could not breath if you laid him down all his clothes smelled of smoke were about 2 sizes to small his med from 2 weeks before when he was in the hospital for the 2nd time since being taken into care for asthma had not been filled yet,she did not send his nebulizer or meds for it that she did have.

She is no longer a mfhome her license was revoked.Thank Goodness I am glad at least in that case the state did look out for the children!

[MatthewS]

When we went through the foster classes, we were told that after licensing we were bound by law to report any cases of abuse we saw, period. Neglect is abuse and it sounds to me like this poor kid was neglected horribly. These kids have a right to be treated with respect and kindness. Most of them have been through the wringer and they need to know that the world isn't all bad.

Anyway, that's just my $0.02 worth.

[Navy_RP_Wife]

We had to contact our children's social worker because M was telling us that disipline at their previous home consisted of time out, getting sent to a bedroom that she and her 3 year old brother shared (5x10 room), whacked on the top of the hand with a slotted wooden spoon, flicked in the mouth, cheek or hand. We have M show us how hard them were hit and they were smacked pretty good. We sat on it for 2 weeks until we felt like we knew her enough to tell if she was lying and to be able to ask B if it happened. He is 3 and was able to tell us. We were told when we got the kids that their previous foster home wasn't very good. Jee, go figure! Anyways, I sent an email to their worker detailing what was told to us, the situation in which is presented and qoutes of what they told us. It was turned over to that home licensing worker and I was told they should be contacting us if they needed to talk to the kids. But the other day we were at the mall near where the kids lived with this family and ended up leaving because B and M were scared they would see them.

As if they didn't have enough trauma in their lives!!

[MO3]

I don't mean to stick my nose in. I'm not a FP yet, but I wanted to offer a possible idea for the warts. It's a very personal subject for me. I had at least one wart on every single finger when I was in middle school. I was soooo ashamed of them. I had them all "frozen" by a dermatologist a couple of times. It was extremely painful, and a couple warts never went away. I still had a couple stubborn ones until last year. My older DDs(6 and 8) have/had them as well. I could see my 8yr old following the same path as I did w/ regards to the high numbers of them that she was getting.
Anyway, I bought a product for us(only for my 8 yr old and me to lose weight, BioSlim Youth and BioSlim, respectively. BTW, I told her they were vitamins, not for weight. I don't talk about her weight issues in front of her. Let's not get into a debate about it, please.) It is LOADED w/ good vitamins and minerals. After only being on it for a week, my last warts disappeared and all of my DD's warts faded away. We lost a little weight and felt good while on it, but we decided not to invest in the product anymore for the time being b/c money is really tight. However, it was totally worth the cost since it made the warts that would NOT go away w/ OTC and derm treatments finally go away! I wish I knew what in the BioSlim made the warts go away so I could recommend that particular supplement, but I have no idea. I'm going to have my middle DD try it for her warts when she gets a little bit older. I swear I am not a BS saleperson. I'm just a mom that HATES warts sooo much and is extremely excited to have found a cure(for us at least) and wants to share it w/ the world.

Sorry to interupt.