[May4u2nvme]

I have not written in here in some time. I recently (end of Oct) lost my little boy. We are foster to adoptparents in Washington State and almsot 2 years ago we received a placement of a 2 year old little boy that we hoped to adopt. This little boy had been taken at birth and we happened to be his 4th placement at only 2 years of age! After over a year and a half things looked like they would finally settle down, but as it turns out the state found reletive placement willng to take our little guy. He is now legaly free and has been moved to relative care, no one wanted him to go, not us or any of that case workers, GAL...etc. Even the relatives said that they thought he should saty but that they felt obligated to take him because he is family and they didn't want him to grow up and ask why a family member didn't take him. I have been patient with the state, but since his move he has not walked and is back in diapers, he is taking this really hard. He tuned 4 yrs old on 12-28 and all day I was upset that he was not here at home with us. Is there anything I can do? Or can I petition the court to adopt even if he is not with us anymore? Should I do anything?

[elismommy5]

Im in washington too, and they have VERY strict laws about placing kids with bio family if possible. We're a foster/adopt family aswell and we've lost two sets of siblings this past year.The first was reunified (and they are about to come back into the system for the third time). And the week before christmas they took our 2 girls and placed them in another foster/adopt home who was capable of taking all 4 siblings (they gave us 2 days notice)...SOOO I have no idea how it is in other states but i know in wa they always place with family no matter what.

melissa
bio mom to eli 6 yrs old
foster mom c&c 4 &2 yrs old boys went home
foster mom to d&n 4 & 9 mos girls moved to be with sisters

[madfostermomma]

May 4

I'd call the child advocates office - cant hurt-the worst they can do is tell you they can't help you. I'd be asking why there hasnt been a bonding evaluation done. After that long in your care and with what's happening now- someone should be doing one.

[villagemom]

Just curious...what is a bonding evaluation....what does it entail...who does it?

[Luvbeingmommy]

villagemom,

We had a bonding study/evaluation done on siblings. I have two fs the youngest from a group of six siblings. The study is to see who the child(ren) are bonded to. In my case, the kid's therapist (psychologist) did the study. Mostly they observe the chidren's reactions to each other to determine if there is a bond. This would be done the same with parents or fparents. Since this child, in May's case, had been with her for 2 years, there should be a strong bond whereas the relative may not have any bond at all.
Hope that helps!
Darla

[brl]

sorry for your pain.

I don't see why they allow the kids to stay with us so long before they do anything.

Why wasn't relative placemant found a year ago!

Why do they allow the kids to stay with us so long, and then "oh by the way" we found a relative!

P.S. Don't nobody give me the you are foster parents crud! I know that!

The rules used to be a year and TPR! It is never followed!

I pray for you and your pain. I am going through it also.