[Motleygrammies]

Hey there! I'm new here, and it took me a week of surfing to find you guys. My grandson was born on Halloween day, and I had custody by the time he left the hospital, as he was exposed to cocaine and barbituates in the womb. I am having some terrible problems with him eating, burping, sleeping, screaming. It was diagnosed as colic... I KNOW colic, but this isn't it. The only thing that seems to settle him is lavender baths. I can't turn him into a prune. Anyone have any other ideas on soothing him? I feel like he's constantly miserable and I KNOW I am. I am at my wits end. He's with me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, even when I go to work. I just don't trust anyone else to sooth him or take care of him. I would like to have him at a sitter while I'm working, but don't have a clue about how to go about finding someone who has experienced infants in withdrawl. Any help at all would be a GOD send!

[healingmachine]

well...i know this isn't much but, if he enjoys lavender baths so much, maybe he would appreciate being massaged with lavender lotion.

we use it on our daughter and it really smells like the body wash.

i can't help with info on withdrawals...but as far as the babysitting goes, you should try to find a program in your county that caters to kinship placements. we have a 'kinship navigator' through our area office of aging and they have a lot of good resources for different situations.

my other suggestion would be to try your local children's services; they may be able to give your information to foster moms in the area that have experience with infants and withdrawal--there's a possibility that they might be willing to do day care for you...

i'm not sure if that really happens as i am not licensed to foster (yet), but it's worth a shot.

good luck.

[barbhuff]

Originally Posted by Motleygrammies

Hey there! I'm new here, and it took me a week of surfing to find you guys. My grandson was born on Halloween day, and I had custody by the time he left the hospital, as he was exposed to cocaine and barbituates in the womb. I am having some terrible problems with him eating, burping, sleeping, screaming. It was diagnosed as colic... I KNOW colic, but this isn't it. The only thing that seems to settle him is lavender baths. I can't turn him into a prune. Anyone have any other ideas on soothing him? I feel like he's constantly miserable and I KNOW I am. I am at my wits end. He's with me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, even when I go to work. I just don't trust anyone else to sooth him or take care of him. I would like to have him at a sitter while I'm working, but don't have a clue about how to go about finding someone who has experienced infants in withdrawl. Any help at all would be a GOD send!

Swaddle him. Tightly. Keep him swaddled as much as possible. My son was cocaine and meth positive at birth as well as fetal alcohol. He came to us at seven months. He's now eighteen months, and he still wakes up three or more times a night. Swaddling is all that calms him down. He doesn't even want me to hold him. He just wants wrapped up in his blanket.

You may have already checked out some of these articles, but I thought I would post the ones I have bookmarked. I'd love if others would share more.

http://www.drspock.com/article/0,1510,5582,00.html
http://www.ivillage.co.uk/pregnancya...159030,00.html
http://www.druglibrary.org/schaffer/cocaine/crackbb.htm
http://www.drugexposedinfants.com/

[Mel in NEPA]

Now, I don't have any help for this particular problem, but I think what you should look for is someone to give you respite. Even if it's to go to the grocery store, so that you know that you have that time available.

This is what I would like to suggest. Find someone to watch the baby for you at a particular time every week. Just knowing that your relief day is coming in 2 days, in 1 day.. really can help you hang on. Is there any other family, friends, ppl from the church.. Is he a foster child so that you can use their respite services? I know you don't feel like you can trust another person, but being able to walk away every now and again may be the key to your sanity. Allow yourself to trust someone.

[teachtofost]

Try checking into acid reflux. You might also check into a feeding evaluation. My little one had colic symptoms. But when he was evaluated at a rehab hospital, they found that he needed a special nipple and medication for acid reflux. Before that he would cry for hours - after he made a complete turnaround. He was drug affected too.

[Rocking Mama]

Barbhuff is right! Swaddle that baby tightly.

Also:
Wear him in a sling during the day as much as you can.

Keep him swaddled whenever you aren't holding him.

Use "white noise" and low lights to keep him from over-stimulation.

If you can vibrate his bassinette or crib, that will soothe him too. (You can lean a box fan against the leg on the outside of his bed if you don't have a built-in vibrator on his bed).

If you are a spiritual person, pray for him as often as you think to.

Lastly, don't let him "cry it out". I was told by a pediatric neurologist that a drug-exposed baby doesn't have the neurological capabilities to calm himself, thus he needs to be comforted ASAP when he gets upset.

Try and get some respite care. My family of 4 worked as a team with me when my 3 yo ad was a newborn. These drug-exposed newborns sometimes need a whole staff of people helping to care for them to get them thru the first few months of with-drawals. Otherwise it can be EXHAUSTING!!!
HTH

[cherrymom]

I was going to second the swaddling and the acid reflux. These special babies are definitely more prone to acid reflux. Try swaddling him and using a wedge in his crib to keep him raised up. Napping in the swing, feeding in a position where there is no pressure on his tummy. And definitely avoid the bright lights. I also second the motion and getting some help - even if it is when you're there but try taking a nap. And by the way - hats off to you for stepping up to the plate and loving this little guy.

[jandn]

I will second alot of the advice given here. With my drug exposed newborns I have used the formula of swaddling, being worn in a sling, a sound machine, raised crib(30-45 degrees) for reflux, dark room and baby massage if they will tolerate.


I hope you get some relief soon, the hours are long when they are that young.

[Motleygrammies]

Thanks so much for all the advice... I got a private message with a website and I will also check out the ones suggested in these posts. As far as family close by, well, not really. I'm a single mom too, so no hubby to take over. I will talk to some friends, see if I can't get them to give me an hour or two a week to regain some form of my sanity. He's my little angel, feel so bad for him. Anyway, any other advice will certainly be tried, thanks so much for your replies!

[mj77]

I just PM'd you a little bit about our experience. Every child is so different in how they will respond. My cousin needed a pitch black room and white noise. So did my oldest son. Both my sons needed presure on their tummies.

I recommend white noice, swaddling and a dark room for rest time and see if that helps any.

[Kelly Rae]

All three of my adopted children were born multi drug/ alcohol exposed and here are some things that helped me: swaddling tightly, wearing him in a sling all day, keeping stimulation down to a minimum especially while eating, feeding liquid formula not the powder (it can be easier to digest), watch and see if he is getting a lot of air while he sucks and switch nipples if he looks like he doesn't have a good seal with his mouth, try the swing, bouncer seat that vibrates, and last but not least ear plugs for you.

Hope this helps!

[Motleygrammies]

Here's my punkin on a good day...

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b3...f/bdda601a.jpg

[Rocking Mama]

Your little guy is ADORABLE!!!!

[coopspa]

There is a lot of good advice here and I suggest you take and try everything that makes sense to you and go with trial and error. We brought our drug exposed daughter home at one month with the same results as you. What worked for us was essentially what has already been said... 1. Swaddle 2. Mess around with a formula til you find one that works 3. Noise. Babies that spend a lot of time in the NICU (which I assume yours did) are surrounded by CONSTANT noise, machines whooshing, beeping, nurses talking, carts rattling. Lots of noise. One of my best friends had 3 preemie babies and suggested we play a radio next to her crib, not loudly, but enough to hear (we chose a classical music station, final four on TV worked for her ). What do you know CALM! We ran it constantly until we noticed she was learning to calm herself, about 4 months later. So I don't know if its a drug thing or a NICU thing but that's what we tried and it worked for us. Good Luck.

[mj77]

Your little man (pumpkin) is sooo cute!