[ltwt]

i know very little about this but i would like to be able to find out some information. i have a friend that was a foster parent. she got a 6 month old baby and had her for 2 and half years. she was hoping to adopt her. however the grandmother decided she would like to have her. she has had weekend visitation for about a year. this week a judge gave the grandmother complete custody. the judge said that my friend was to have no contact with the little girl at all and the grandmother got custody that day. (it was the little girl's birthday and my friend had everything ready to celebrate) we live in virginia. my friend signed a paper that said that if any relative came forth in a 3 year period and wanted the child, they would get her. i understand that the courts try to reunite families but to this little girl my friend and her husband are the only parents she has known. is there anything that my friend can do? the judge said she had no case. the parents are in jail. thanks for any help you can give us.

[gregorysparents]

Sorry.....I know nothing about the laws in your friend's state.

I have never heard of signing a paper in regards to a foster parent raising a child and then if some birth relative came forward - then they would get the child back. Sounds strange to me.

I don't know anything about the legal "stuff" that has been done in your case. However, I would tell your friend to:

Contact any and all Dr.'s that have seen this child. See what recommendations and etc. they may have given.

Contact CASA/GAL.

Contact her Foster Care and Adoption Association (in Indiana - ours is IFCAA).

Does your friend have "legal standing" in this case?

I am afraid that the paper your friend signed is probably going to hurt her case. However, if your friend feels like having this child placed with her grandmother - is harmful to her - tell her to fight "tooth and nail" for the CHILD'S rights.

I might suggest that if your friend has no reason to believe that this grandmother would harm this child - then I might suggest that she not do anything at this point in time. Tell her to take a step back and see what happens. She needs to have time to grieve. She needs time to yell, scream and cry.

I am VERY concerned that the Judge removed the child asap and ordered no contact with your friend. Tell your friend that the Judge's comment about "she has no case" - doesn't hold water with me. See if she can find an attorney that will look into this case for her.

I am also concerned about attachment disorders and etc. I can see the Judge placing this child with her grandmother - but I can't see him doing it with NO visitations with your friend.

Sorry, I probably wasn't much help - but if you want to pm me - I might be able to help a little more.

I will be praying for your friend and her husband, little girl and everyone else involved in this case.

Christina

[ltwt]

thanks for the advice. from the best i can understand, the little girls casa rep was at the hearing. it seemed that she sided with the grandmother. i'm not sure she had even been to either house to check out the situations. i will give your suggestions to my friend. she loved that little girl like it was her own. i don't think she thinks the grandmother will hurt the child but is concerned about the other child living there. i think the other child is ad and picks on the little girl. what i don't understand is why the grandmother waited over a year to do anything by then the little girl was already attached to my friend. i don't know about any legal standing. i was told that the judge used a similar case in ny to make his decision. i was hoping that maybe someone would read this and know of a case where the judge ruled the other way and she could use that to fight with. she had a lawyer for the hearing. it just seems like the grandmother was so very cold. i guess she saw my friend as the enemy who was trying to take her grandchild away instead of the loving person she is that was providing such good care for that little girl. thanks also for the prayers. i may not have faith in our legal system but i do believe that God knows best and will see her thru. thanks again!

[gregorysparents]

Another thought - why don't you post your thread on the New York forum? If the Judge used a case in NY to base his decision on - someone from NY might know what case the Judge is speaking about.

Good luck. Keeping everyone in my thoughts and prayers.

Christina