[MattsBamaGirl]

Do any of you know how the court handles a termination of parental rights when a bparent has a mental illness like major depressive and mental retardation?

We are having to go to court because our foster son's bdad had been saying since March that he was going to sign his relinquishments. Well to make a long story short he isn't going to sign and our agency has filed for TPR and we have a court date. I'm just getting nervous. I know that this bdad can't parent and even his mom says he can't but I just don't know how a court handles something like this.

Any advice?

[All Boys]

I would also be interested in hearing if anyone has any information on this... We have a foster son, and I am pretty sure, that the psychiatrist is going to rule that his bmom, is mentally incompatent, and the judge will order her a guardian, and maybe even for her to be placed in a facility.. It is all so very sad, for the bfamily, and for my fosterson. I feel for all of them.. But his safty, and well being is the most important thing to me...

[BlessedByTwo121]

I have experience. My youngests mother has schizophrenia.
In my case, they handled TPR VERY carefully AND very slowly. They do it this way because they recognize that people with mental illness have rights and they dont want it to ever come around that the person was taken advantage of.
When my youngest was born, she was put into foster care. The birth mother was given a care plan and things she needed to do to get her daughter back. She needed to take parenting classes, show DSS where she lived and that she could care for her child...etc. While this was going on, she had weekly visits with her daughter. She wasnt able to follow through with the plan and TPR was filed. Once the motion was filed the birth mother couldnt even mentally handle court or the proceedings. She eventually was assigned a guardian to handle the legal stuff. It took 1yr and 1/2 to get TPR done on the birth mother. They have to tread so lightly when it comes to mental health and retardation cases.
I am more than happy to share more of my experience with you and answer certain questions.
I hope I helped a little.

[BlessedByTwo121]

One more thing. My daughters birth mother was saying she would sign her parental rights over a month after the placement. Each time papers were to be signed she either had difficulty or couldnt comprehend the legal wording. She had an assigned lawyer who helped her but she still couldnt get it done. Eventually it went to trial. This is why it took so long for the TPR to happen. I think mentally ill cases or retardation issues are one of the slowest to get TPR....just because of all the legal red tape and procedures that need to be followed.

[All Boys]

Thanks, our Fosterson's bmom, does have an attorney. She also does not understand the court proceedings, she speaks out to the judge, during the court proceedings... I know that she loves her baby boy, but she just is not capable of caring for herself, much less care for a baby... DCFS has already told her that she can not have him back, if she were to live alone, and they are currently working on getting her declared incompent, so that she can be assigned a guardian.. The only thing is that her attorney, is fighting for her to get him back, not trying to help her to understand what is going on...
There was a great aunt that was trying to take custody of F/S, but her state denied her... So now it is all an awful waiting game....
He has been in our care for 4 months now... I think they will be having his permany hearing, in the next 6 months, I am not sure, if it is 6 months from when he was taken into care, or 6 months from our last court hearing...
But our F/S's bmom, has already said that she will not give up without a fight... The bdad on the other hand he is also mentally ill.. But he is willing to sign if bmom does...

[MattsBamaGirl]

Thanks Cyndie. I'll like to know more so I'll pm you if that is ok.

[BlessedByTwo121]

Originally Posted by All Boys

Thanks, our Fosterson's bmom, does have an attorney. She also does not understand the court proceedings, she speaks out to the judge, during the court proceedings... I know that she loves her baby boy, but she just is not capable of caring for herself, much less care for a baby... DCFS has already told her that she can not have him back, if she were to live alone, and they are currently working on getting her declared incompent, so that she can be assigned a guardian.. The only thing is that her attorney, is fighting for her to get him back, not trying to help her to understand what is going on...
There was a great aunt that was trying to take custody of F/S, but her state denied her... So now it is all an awful waiting game....
He has been in our care for 4 months now... I think they will be having his permany hearing, in the next 6 months, I am not sure, if it is 6 months from when he was taken into care, or 6 months from our last court hearing...
But our F/S's bmom, has already said that she will not give up without a fight... The bdad on the other hand he is also mentally ill.. But he is willing to sign if bmom does...

My daughters birth mother used to speak out in court too. She would ak the judge if he liked her outfit. One time she said she was hungry and couldnt carry on until she ate. They stopped the session to get her a sandwich. The most recent court proceeding she said they the devil was telling her to not listen or participate in anything...it turned into a big mess from there. Eventually someone got smart and gave her a guardian. The entire time I wasnt anxious at all. I knew TPR would get done, I felt badly for the birth mothers mental condition and knew there was no chance of my daughter being returned.

[BlessedByTwo121]

Originally Posted by MattsBamaGirl

Thanks Cyndie. I'll like to know more so I'll pm you if that is ok.

Absolutely! Pm me anytime.

[PAmomof1]

Wow! I'm so glad this thread was created. I'm going through the exact same thing. My foster daughter came to me at 2 months old as a preemie. She just turned 1 last week and the mother has paranoid schizophrenia. This was my first placement and I got strong armed into doing the visits in my home because the baby was on oxygen and an apnea monitor and the mom wasn't capable and would not learn how to use the equipment.

During those visits I got a chance to see her interact with this tiny newborn and it wasn't good. She would often fall asleep holding the baby. She also would just zone out and it would appear as if she was in a whole different world from the one we were in. She came to the visits extremely dirty a few times. And although the visits were to be from 1-4 three times a week. She'd only stay for an hour and wouldn't come three times a week. She'd also take 2-3 smoke breaks and go to the bathroom like 2 times. She was always complaining of being hungry and/or thirsty.

The first court hearing was crazy. She left before we had a chance to go in saying that she was going shopping. We started without her and she came in 10 minutes into the hearing.

This whole time has been very aggravating because she is mentally ill and there's no way she could parent the baby, but I can tell that she does love this baby. She is currently in a mental hospital and they are trying to move her to a state mental facility. We were supposed to have court today but it was postponed till february. She also has a GAL now. I don't know if that is good or bad.

I just want this to be over. And we are coming up on the 1 year mark that the baby has been in my care.

I'd definitely like to hear more of what you went through. And although I get angry and frustrated sometimes, I still feel really bad for the mom and am afraid of how this will impact her.

[Hunter's Mom]

K's bio mom is MR. The cw, lawyers & the judge refused to allow her to voluntarily sign. Basically bc they wanted to be careful about how it was handled & to make sure that she could not come back later & say she did not understand it.
The TPR occurred in July after we had had K in our home for 14 months. They were just extremely, extremely careful with it all!!!!! The trial was really, really easy.

Christy

[All Boys]

I can't say what my F/S's bmom's clinical diagonisis is, but I do know, that she is disabled, and recieves a check for it... DCFS is currently working with a psyc. to get her diagnosed.
Her whole family is like this, they all receive a disabilty check, and do not have to work. They all have ADD, and ADHD, some of them also have aggreasion problems... None of them work, they don't go to school....
Out F/S's bmom is the same way, she talks out in court, to the judge, to the attourney's, she will turn around and talk to her mom, or to her boyfriend... She has a different boy friend everytime we go to court, and she is going to marry that guy too... I feel sorry for her, I really do.. I wish she would have been given the chance that this baby could have... She could be so more functional, if she had been raised in a "normal" house hold, what ever you can consider normal.. But you know what I mean...

[BlessedByTwo121]

Pamom. We sound like we have the same situations. My schizophrenic birth mom is currently in a psych hospital pregnant with twins!

At visits my ** would say she was exhausted and didnt think she would last the hour. She was always weak and lethargic. Possibly a side effect of medication? Its just a guess. At the visits she came dressed like a movie star. Perfect clothing...perfect hair but her make up was really strange. She would color in her eye brows very thick with eye liner. Underneath the makeup she was an attractive woman. At the first few visits, I must admit I was nervous. She would pick at the babys clothes and get mad at me because they werent bought at the childrens place. One time she insisted that the babys socks were so tight and it was cutting off the circulation.
At other visits she was a mother who lost her baby. She would cry when she held her. Snuggle with her and tell her how much she loved her. She would tell her baby she was giving her to this "nice lady" so she would have a good life.
Then there were visits when the ** was like a child. She would sit on the floor and play with her daughter like a kid.

Foster care review meetings were a nightmare. The ** would pick apart each sentance of the care plan and "object" to all of the facts and comments. She did the same for all legal proceedings.

Through out all of this...I grew feelings for the **. She is the same age as me, college educated and at one time didnt have a mental illness. She has absolutely no family and nobody to care for her. Her parents are deceased. She has an uncle in his 80's who cant be bothered. The bio father of the baby is the "holy spirit". I have learned very little about him. The social workers think he is also the father of the twins...I do too...the last visit she spoke about him.

Underneath her mental illness, the ** is a beautiful, smart, loving and caring person. Her life has been robbed by this disease. She has had her moments where she made life hell for a lot of people but she cant help it. Even thought the babys adoption is closed. I plan on keeping contact with the birth mother.

[PAmomof1]

Blessed, while reading your post I almost had to ask myself if this was the same woman! lol.

The bmom that I am dealing with does and acts very similar. She is a beautiful young woman (also my age) who seems to have a really good heart. Whenever I see her she gives me a hug and always compliments me (to the point of embarrassment sometimes). I remember when I first met her and we were having visits at my house I would actually cry and be riddled with guilt because I knew in my heart that she'd never be able to parent this baby.

She too sometimes dresses waaay up and wear extremely wierd makeup. Her hair is usually very out of this world. Sometimes she'd come over and be so tired that she'd fall asleep and snore. CYF has so many services set up for her but she just won't take advantage of them They even transported her to the visits to see the baby. And when the visits were moved to the county's office they gave her bus tickets and she still wouldn't show. She would say that she couldn't leave the house because people wer following her and trying to get her.

I'm not sure how long she's been in the hospital but I know that they were trying to move her to the state mental hospital where she would stay for 6-9 months. And I just wonder if this case is going to be "put on hold" for all that time? At this rate the baby will be two and still nothing will have changed.

And through all this frustration I still hurt for the mom. Kind of strange I know, but I really believe that her disease has robbed her of her capabilities.

[BlessedByTwo121]

I think it is wonderful you have been able to open up your heart to her. My daughters profile was passed on by so many adoptive homes. They didnt want to deal with the birth mother. I never once for a moment second guessed my decision.

Do you ever worry that your child may get schizophrenia??

Originally Posted by PAmomof1

Blessed, while reading your post I almost had to ask myself if this was the same woman! lol.

The bmom that I am dealing with does and acts very similar. She is a beautiful young woman (also my age) who seems to have a really good heart. Whenever I see her she gives me a hug and always compliments me (to the point of embarrassment sometimes). I remember when I first met her and we were having visits at my house I would actually cry and be riddled with guilt because I knew in my heart that she'd never be able to parent this baby.

She too sometimes dresses waaay up and wear extremely wierd makeup. Her hair is usually very out of this world. Sometimes she'd come over and be so tired that she'd fall asleep and snore. CYF has so many services set up for her but she just won't take advantage of them They even transported her to the visits to see the baby. And when the visits were moved to the county's office they gave her bus tickets and she still wouldn't show. She would say that she couldn't leave the house because people wer following her and trying to get her.

I'm not sure how long she's been in the hospital but I know that they were trying to move her to the state mental hospital where she would stay for 6-9 months. And I just wonder if this case is going to be "put on hold" for all that time? At this rate the baby will be two and still nothing will have changed.

And through all this frustration I still hurt for the mom. Kind of strange I know, but I really believe that her disease has robbed her of her capabilities.

[hotspice58]

My foster/adopt 7 yo's ** suffers from depression. She also suffered abuse as a child. She went back and forth on terminating her rights. Her husband who abused daughter, was arrested in Long Island and both she and her husband terminated their rights then; this was in October. ** had an extension until May of 2006 but when she hooked back up with abusive hubby, that was the last straw.