[locoenlacabeza]

We just had a CFT yesterday for our 2 fs. During the CFT is was decided that mom would call m & w, sibs would call t & th and aunt would call w & f. I am wondering if any of you have this many people calling during the week. I almost feel like I can't plan anything for my family because we have to be home every night to wait for phone calls that may or may not come. What are your thoughts?

[leaabc123]

We have only had visits, no phone calls. We don't give our home number to bio-families. In the past, one relative had my cell number to arrange visits but that was an exception.

We don't schedule our lives around phone calls. I would not be willing to cooprate with that schedule, or with giving out my home number. I would say that since they are scheduled everyday, we may or may not be home due to family activities and errands. They are welcome to leave a message or call back but not after 8pm (or whatever you feel is appropriate).

[Brookiebear]

I agree with leeabc about working your life around that schedule. K is supposed to call his mom twice a week, because she is not allowed to have our phone number (agency policy). We try to make sure that happens, but some weeks it doesn't. I don't know how your kiddos react after calls or visits, but K gets pretty emotional. And since K is pretty emotional most of the time anyway, if he's already on the verge of a meltdown, I don't push the phonecall. I am really surprised that anyone would expect you to order your life around all of those phone calls - how are you supposed to get anything done?!

[leaabc123]

Also, of note, that once a bio-family has your phone number, it can be quite easy for them to find your home address. There are of course other ways to do so but a phone number makes it quite easy.

[BlessedByTwo121]

Personally, I think thats a bit much. Cant the social worker assign an evening when phone calls can come in? Say friday night between 5-7?

When I had to do phone calls I used my cell phone. That way I could travel and they wouldnt be able to trace where I live.

[Zoe_B]

Originally Posted by locoenlacabeza

We just had a CFT yesterday for our 2 fs. During the CFT is was decided that mom would call m & w, sibs would call t & th and aunt would call w & f. I am wondering if any of you have this many people calling during the week. I almost feel like I can't plan anything for my family because we have to be home every night to wait for phone calls that may or may not come. What are your thoughts?

It sounds like DHS should be providing you a cell phone, with service. I'd say, Sure! We can do that...just provide us a cell phone, so I don't have to give out my personal line for it, and it will be NO PROBLEM.

[Kate1129]

Our situation was much the same. Tons of calls!!!!

The only way it got changed for us was with the kids councellor. It was really hard on the kids to have that much on them all the time. So the therapist said to have it changed and the judge agreed. I think the only way for it to be changed is for it to be a negative thing for the kids.

[TexasJingles]

What about therapy and cwr visits? Are they done during the day? I wouldn't be able to keep that schedule just because of those 2 things! WOW!

[locoenlacabeza]

We have been working with the bmom for over a year, and we live in a very small community so finding out where we live would not be hard. I have never had problems with her calling (when she calls). Originally when I was asked to allow the sibs to call, I was actually being asked if I would call them, I said no because I am not paying for the long distance ( they are out of state).
I just feel like I was railroaded into this. I have no prob with the aunt calling, as that is most likely the future placement. I feel like since we are working on TPR anyway maybe mom should give up her calls to aunt so that we have a free day here or there? Mom never makes her calls anyway, but let me be gone one time, and guess what.....she calls, UGH!!!!