[~*Max*~]

I don't normally do this, but as a favor to a friend took in 4 foster kittens from two inbred litters belonging to his roommate. The one female was fine and went to Petsmart to be adopted fairly quickly. All the boys have heart murmurs. One should be adoptable - he has no underlying issues with his heart. He's clubfooted and tiny and adorable so I can see someone snatching him up quickly. The other two cannot go to Petsmart because they take medication twice daily and have MAJOR heart issues. Their life expectancy could be as short as two years.

I love the older one dearly and am becoming fond of the younger ones. What do you think of keeping these two guys, when they could literally drop dead with no notice? For now both look and act very healthy, and they may continue for several years this way (though unlikely longer - they MIGHT make it to five).

What do you think about keeping these guys? On the one hand, maybe foster kids would like them better and be more gentle knowing they were in the same boat as the kitties (except the kitties are basically unadoptable as the medical expenses will be high for them). But they could as I said drop dead with no notice.

Should I consider keeping them or is it better for them to go to another foster home asap?

Thanks,

Lisa

[callismom]

I don't see why you couldn't keep them as long as you can handle them plus the children. Depending on the age you would have to be very careful watching the cats with any foster children at first. I always watch carefully to make the the children are appropriate with my cat, then I can relax. I had one child who always tried to choke my cat and unfortunately I couldn't stop her from doing it so I had to ask for her to be removed. I will always have cats so I have to have children to get along with them.

[~*Max*~]

...even though they are going to die very young? I hate having to tell the ones old enough to understand that Dexter and Cameron have bad hearts and there is no surgery to help them and they may drop dead with no obvious notice - their hearts just give out. Imagine your foster child, who's already been through more than enough, finding your foster cat dead.

Maybe it's just me who can't deal with it. My heart's broken over Dexter especially already, who has a long laundry list of problems with his heart. Even before bringing foster children into the picture, I am really conflicted. And I wonder how I'll deal with children with problems when I am so sad over just my foster kittens (and furious at their "birth father" so to speak, since all he had to do was neuter or spay ONE of his cats and this never would have happened). If I can't find the grace to forgive him, how will I deal with birth families?

So as you can see, these kittens bring up a LOT of conflicted emotions in me! I had been very firm that I would not keep any of them, but that was before the heart problems were discovered.

On the balance, is keeping the two (as foster cats, which means the rescue agency will pay their vet visits - good thing as it was over $900 AFTER the discount for the boys to see the cardiologist for the first visit!) boys likely to be helpful to the children who comes through my doors? Maybe little ones would be able to forget that their lives will be short and just enjoy them. I've read how pets can be therapeutic for children, which is the main reason I am considering keeping them...but I don't think I can stand knowing that congestive heart failure is waiting at the all-too-soon end for them.

Sorry for rambling...it's a very hard decision to make...and this before I even receive a placement!

[Kate1129]

You shouldn't have any problems keeping the cats! I have learned that you just have to keep an eye on the kids when around pets. They have a tendency to take their anger out on them.

[callismom]

One of my cats died and I had a foster daughter at the time. I was devastated and my foster daughter was sad but more matter of fact about the death. The hardest part was that she would want to talk about the cat all the time and I would have such a hard time holding in my tears. Sometimes I would have to tell her to stop that it was making me too sad. Unfortunately these children are used to such loss in their lives that they seem to be more matter of fact about it. I find I'll worry so much about another disappointment I have to tell them about and they talk about it, ask questions and accept it. I think if you tell them you are keeping the kittens because they are ill and you want to give them the best lives they could have even if it is short the kids could understand. Best Friends Society refers to when an animal dies "they went over the rainbow bridge" it makes everything sound better and that is what I say when my kids ask about an animal dying.

[AlekseiGirl]

Personally, I can see how much you love these kitties, and it seems you have the same love for children. I can also see that you are conflicted, and perhaps YOU don't want to see the kitties die (which is understandable).

I think that two valuable lessons can be learned from keeping your kitties:

1. Even sick, unhealthy animals (and people) need a loving home regardless of their life expectancy and their problems.

2. The circle of life means that all things are born and all things die. Yes, death is very sad, but it is inevitable. Children should be allowed to grieve the loss, but also celebrate the life of the animal (or person) that passed.

One more thing: I don't think you should mention to your foster kids that your kitties may "drop dead" at any moment. This is true with any living thing. Death does not always come with notice. Sometimes it is incredibly unfair. You should tell you children that these kitties are sick, that they were born sick, but that they need to be loved anyway. Deal with the death issue when it happens, but don't let it hang over your head every single day.

[~*Max*~]

Thank you for the sage advice! I think I will try to keep Dexter as a foster....http://img.makeupalley.com/0/3/7/4/403013.jpeg (How could I ever say goodbye to this face?)

I probably should keep Cameron too as they are bonded, though from different litters, but am not so sure about caring for two special needs cats in addition to my foster children. We go to Petsmart for Adoption Days Sunday, so hopefully whoever decides to adopt Tinytim (and someone will - he is freaking adorable) will also open their heart to Cameron, since he really should stay with one of his brothers. Fingers are crossed...

I did find a great 4 bedroom, 3.5 bath townhouse in a kid-filled neighborhood, and hope to move in early January from my one bedroom apartment (my rent will only go up $40!), and also found matching desk and desser, both with hutches, at Salvation Army! Just need a bed and linens and I'll be ready to welcome one child into my home...hopefully I'll find some equally cute stuff there again soon for one of the other bedrooms.

This is getting exciting!

[cb131]

Ohhhh having pets was what gave the comfort to my fd If it was not for my kitty Diggi-d I think S would not have felt so comforted.(at some points S had to ask we take diggi-d out of her bed because she was to lovey & she could not sleep.I have learned when it comes to life or Death(& I am sure this was a lesson only God could acomplish.)I cannot control alot of things & all the worry in the world can't change God's plan.It is ALL in his hands,just as the song goes.If you want to hear God laugh tell him your plans.