[Robin61]

I have a very good relationship with my Fs birth parents. My fs is 4 months they also have a 3 year old the sister has. They go to couRt in January. They are doing really well. The birth dad told me not to tell the mom he told me but they may have aother on the way. What are they thinking. They are on 100mg of methodone will this change things in the courts eyes. This family has no kids with them and are going to go from none to 3 under 3.

ROBIN

[waiting home]

It is the workings of a mind(s) that do not truly understand the impact and consequences of their addiction.

My opinion would be that it will be quite some time of complete sobriety that they have any understanding.

And, then again, it may never happen.

What a sad, sad story for those 3 little ones.

[Kate1129]

Poor kids!

These parents just don't understand what they are doing to these kids. If only they could see!

[Mammie]

Hey Robin,

That is so sad.

From what I understand (and I am no expert at this - just from what I have learned from other foster parents) is that alot of times, when children have been taken away from the bio parents, the parents go ahead and start making more babies to 'replace' the ones that they have lost. (They sorta look at it like the other kids are damaged and it was the children's fault for being taken away. A new baby is a new, fresh start for them to get it right this time.)

I do not agree with the bio parents thinking - but that is what drugs will do - alter the logic process.

I am a little confused...(and please forgive me if I read the message wrong) it seems to me that the courts would do drug testing on the parents. If the drugs are in their system, then reunification would be postponed even futher.

It would then be quite possible that the baby on the way would be removed while in the hospital (because of the other siblings in foster care).

[Robin61]

The parents are testing clean for drugs. Altough the baby is only 4 months old. They are on 100mg of methodone which is a drug but its part of a program to get them off drugs. 100mg they are still high. I think methodone is a false sense of "I'm clean" they are not. They may not be sick but its a managed high. I guess methodone keeps drug addicts off the street. It's really sad I have learned so much about drug addiction just being a foster parent. ROBIN

[wrekdiver]

Mammie's post was right on target. Our fs's birthparents said the exact same thing when they got pregnant again. That they would do it right this time, etc. But they were still testing positive for drugs.

It's so sad. They want to just deny the ugly parts in their lives and pretend they never happen so they can focus on the little happiness they do have. Until that turns sour too and the process is reapeated. Except that now the "ugly" parts are the children they are messing up. They need all the prayers they can get.

[MissyB9479]

If she is pregnant I would think the drug treatment clinic would want to know. I understand there is some disagreement about taking methadone during pregnancy. The child can be born addicted to it but at the same time stopping methadone during pregnancy can lead to miscarriage. In any case I think it would be important for the workers to know about it. I know he swore you to secrecy but see if you can talk him into telling his treatment people for the health of the child.

[yanknrebel]

***** THAT!!!! Excuse my FRENCH. Tell the caseworker. Tell the DCS atty. They need to know that she is pregnant again. They HAVE to know this!!!! Don't sit back and do nothing. This fetus needs a good start. If methadone can hurt (sure it can) then the professionals and medical team need to be aware of the situation, so that they may know what to do. ALso it will alert the courts that if and when this new baby is born, then this baby needs to be brought into care right away if tested positive for drugs. Just my opinion!!! Get involved. DOn't sit back on your hands and wait. Take an active role. SO what if bf gets mad at you. OH WELL> SOme one needs to watch out for all these babies. That someone is us . FOster parents and adoptive parents.