[Mammie]

Hello everyone!

Whew!

After 23 L-O-N-G, unbelieveable months of postponements, extentions, lawyer games, lies and emotional torture for the children, TPR has happened.

The legal father (bless his heart) signed off on all six children. He was such a toutured soul! What a decision! He fought with it and in the end, did what was right for the children.

Note - We have been in touch with his mother. He is looking to move to a different state to start his life over. (Anyone who kept up with this story, knows that this guy --though had his share of problems -- really got screwed in the end.) We pray that he can put this all behind him and go on with life.

The biological mother fought to the bitter end, though she was fighting for the wrong reasons. (More like she was fighting to prove she was more of a victim than the children. The children themselves were an after thought. It was ALL about her...)

What nailed it in the coffin, was she ignored the fact that she needed to have adquite housing and that she quit therapy (which she truly needs). She also requested another year to get her act together. We pray that she is able to see how her actions harmed the children and that she is able to learn from her mistakes and straighten out her life.

All six children are wards of the state now. Three are to be adopted by maternial family members. We have made our intentions known that we want to adopt the two we have. The one that is left has some major emotional problems, and so far, no family nor the foster family has come forward.

All the children concerned are THRILLED that it is over with and that they are not forced to see mommy dearest anymore. For the most part, they were sad about not seeing the legal father (as he is like a kid himself) and they looked forward to playing with him. And of course, they still would like to see each other (although the case has taken it's toll on that, to the point where there really is no bond between siblings, save for the the two we have and another two living together with family.)

In retro respect, I found myself surprised by my own feelings about the case ending. Sure, once the judge passed termination, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders (as it was getting heavy, dealing with the boys on the days they were forced to see their mother). Two years is a long time to put up with mind games.

Of course, my first concern was for the children (would they really be ok - or would there be fall out?) Especially with my two - would they truly understand?

As stated before, I felt bad about the legal dad - but also supported his hard decision (to which he had no family support).

And I actually felt remorse for the bio mother. That has to be tough to go through (and she alienated her own family in the last few months, so she was alone as well).

However, my moment of empathy was short lived, as she made a total A** of herself...she turned on the tears, then when the judge left, shut them off again and made snide comments about all six children, and how it was everybody's fault (except hers....) She sooooo needs help.

Anyway, thank you all for the 23 months of prayers and shoulders to lean on. I could have not made it through this case without the love and support of everyone on this board!

I will keep everyone posted on the adoption. I am not able to hop on the computer like I used to because of the twins and the special needs of the younger boy. I do more reading than actual writing anymore...everytime I go to post (unless it is at night) I usually get interupted! I would not trade it for anything in the world!

It has been a long two years. I am just so grateful that this case has finally closed!

Let the healing begin.

[missw005]

Mammie,

Congrats on the TPR!!!! What a relief. To not have that threat hanging over your heads anymore must be such a joy. I'm very happy for you and your family.

I'm glad you'll be able to keep contact between some of the siblings - some is better than none! Neither of my sons have contact with their sibs, which is truly sad.

All the best to you and your happy family. You're in my thoughts!

Sandy

[Luvbeingmommy]

I just wanted to congratulate you on the TPR of these children.
I am in a very similar situation -- six children total -- I also am the foster mom to two boys -- the youngest of the sibs whom I have had since the youngest came from the hospital at 6 days old. We are approaching 20 months and at the last court hearing we thought the TPR would be finalized, but bmom's attorney (court appointed) asked for a continuance. We are also in the middle of trying to split siblings --- like in your case for behavior problems.
I understand the roller coaster ride you have been on. However, my fboys have not experienced much of it becuse bmom hasn't seen them since January, and before that only a couple of times. I am truly the only mother they know.
Please keep us in your prayers!

Darla

[lambeausam]

Congratulations!!!!

Sam

[FostAdoptMoms]

Congratulations! - I also wanted to give you huge "kudos" on your compassion for the birthparents. Sometimes we forget the loss they are suffering in these cases. Even if it was short lived (and I expect I will be the same) - you considered it and I think it is noteworthy to say - "good job".

Congratulations again!
S-

[Mammie]

Hi Sandy, Darla, Sam and S,

Thanks - and I will keep you all in prayers too!

I will have to admit --though I am feeling relieved that the termination has happened -- I believe I will feel sooooo much better once those adoption papers have been signed!

Nobody ever said this would be easy!

[Kate1129]

Congratulations!

We are in the thick of TPR. The judge just ordered the go ahead for it. I know the lawyers and GAL are going to try and see if bmom will sign over, but I doubt she will. It's all about her. Nothing is about the kids. It's not easy to watch a family fall to pieces.

Again, congrats!

[yanknrebel]

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! I know what anquish you went through. My dh and I, along with my 2 grown kids, had to endure 34 months of continuances, postponements, hiring anf firing of lawyers etc. However we, too finally got to adopt our now 3 yea r old daughter.

We are now going through a very long wait for our boy/girl twins we are fostering. They have been with us 15 months, tpr was granted, now biomom has appealed. So now we have to sit back and wait.

I hope your adoption on all your children go by fast and effortlessly. SO that you all may get on with your lives.


Mary