[tabby]

We have a 2 year old fd who we have had for about a month. Her ** started visits 3 weeks ago. They are never at a certain time or day. The cw just calls and says can you have her here in about an hour for visits with **. Like this morning she calls at 9:00 and ask if I could have her at the office at 10:30 for a visit. The office is about 30 minutes away. I also have to get her dressed along with my other two 5 month old fs's. I wouldn't mind if she would give me atleast a days notice. I have tried to call her for 2 days and left messages to try to find out when she was going to visit. She never returned my calls. Also with my 2 fs's someone comes to pick them up to take them to visits. Can I ask for someone to pick her up too? Has anyone else ever had this problem and if so what did you do about it?

Thanks,
Tabitha

fs g 5 months
fs d 5 months
fd m 2

[jackiesbooks]

My advise - Ask for a transporter for her too OR stop answering the phone. Let your machine screen it. If you are not available and she has to call the mom back to cancel, she will start making a set time. If all else fails, call her supervisor.

[moogiesmom]

Hi
I like the idea of letting the phone pick up the call! with my agency the visit time is a set day and time, thats what I would request.
Renee

[IowaGirl515]

One of my favorite Dr Philisms is that you teach people how to treat you.

Say "No I'm sorry but that won't work.. as you know, I have two other children and it's a 30 minute drive. Please give me 24 hours notice to be prepared." A few times of that and hopefully it will get thru to her... sounds like she may be a wee bit unorganized.

I'd also put it in writing and CC her supervisor. It's unrealistic for anyone to be given that short of notice...

Yes, you can definitely as to have someone pick the child up as well as you can be reimbursed for travel fees. (at least in Iowa you can...)

[waiting home]

This is all wonderful advice, but I have yet to be successful with any cw by telling them what "works for me or my family." Me calling the shots that is.

Those of you who have been successful, how do you do it. I get nothing but attitude and treated like they are doing me a favor. Like I posted before, we are being punished again for being firm and telling them how it will be.

We are scheduled for "the foster parent lecture" for Tuesday afternoon. Even scheduling that was a power struggle where we come out looking like we are being unreasonable.

So how do you assertive foster parents do it without being punished and still get calls?

I'm tired of being treated like a trained monkey for them but that seems to be the only way to receive any more calls.

When they are courting foster parents they are as sweet as pie. Get in there and you have to jump when they say jump or face the wrath. ARGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!! When they want you to accept a placement (you can always tell when their having trouble placing the kids) they turn on the charm.

I'm just so frustrated with all of them right now.

[squeek]

Originally Posted by waiting home

I'm tired of being treated like a trained monkey for them but that seems to be the only way to receive any more calls.

I LOVE IT, LOL!!! That's exactly how I feel, you just gave me a term for it. Wait til my husband hears this, he's going to laugh hysterically.

[AlekseiGirl]

When I first started out as a foster parent, I read on this forum to establish boundaries with the CW. If you let them schedule last minute, they will do it all the time. My CW has been trying to pull this alot lately. I always let the answering machine answer his calls. If it is less than 24 hours notice for a visit, I don't call back. Or, I call back and remind him that I am available most of the time, but I do require 24 hours notice. I ALWAYS offer an alternative, like if you bring A home after the visit, I can bring her to the visit. My CW refuses to transport, so he always just reschedules!

[MsPoppy]

Thats why DH and I are going for straight adoption, we do not have time for CW nonsense, jump when they say jump, taking kids to visit with ungratful bios, IF they show up yada yada yada, yes, we have to be foster licensed to adopt in our state, but any kids that are placed with us will already be free for adoption


Jeannette