Any idea? Please let me know if you have been in this situation or one like it

BeckyTeehee · #1 10-18-2005, 05:26 PM

I'm a foster parent and have been to a infant from the time she was 1 week old. She is now 5 months and CPS has found 4th cousins and they REALLY want her. You know, I DO TOO! Anyway to make a long story short, CPS recomends she go with the 4th cousins. Child Advocates thinks she is best with us as does her court appointed attorney. Since they disagree with CPS and it's recomendations, it has to go in front of a judge. The date...TOMORROW! I'm so unasy right now. I was just wondering if any of you have been in a simalar situation? If so, what coping skills should be best? My husband and I are REALLY struggling!!!!! And probably will not go through this again as we are a foster/adopt home.

Thanks for any insight. we are here in Texas and abide by Texas law.

Thanks again...

DianeScraps · #2 10-18-2005, 05:56 PM

I haven't been in your situation, but I think it would depend on if these 4th cousins have even started the steps/actions necessary to take the child IE Classes, homestudy and such.

If that hasn't happened, then most likely the judge will see through this and there won't be a problem.

If they are truly serious and proactive then it will probably be a battle between CPS and the advocate

Diane

mallory4 · #3 10-18-2005, 06:42 PM

BeckyTeeHee,

I don't have expert advice, but wanted to say hang in there....I find it hard to believe that the state would give precedence to such distant cousins--what the heck IS a 4th cousin, anyway?

Hopefully, Dianescraps is right and the cousins will have to go through the homestudy process, etc. which will at least take a while and maybe not happen at all........

Wishing you strength and a good outcome

Mishagreen · #4 10-18-2005, 06:53 PM

Most judges (I'm beginning to think) will usually choose a relative placement over the foster parents. Especially since I've been told the only assistance the relatives get from the state of Texas is Medicaid and WIC for a short amount of time.
From what I've gathered(based on my limited experience with CPS), once the child is placed with a relative permanently, CPS can close the case. That's why they try so hard to do relative placements.
But like the other poster said, they will have to take all the steps necessary in order to take custody of her. There is always the chance they won't pass the home study.

We just had to turn our little baby FD over to her great aunt last week. She'd been with us for the past six months, and we love her dearly! It was our first time giving a child back. Knowing it's part of fostering hasn't made it any easier. I'm hoping things work out for you.
Will you keep us updated?

Bug-n-Bears-Mommy · #5 10-18-2005, 08:03 PM

I can't speak for Texas law, but I remember at our first ISSP with our oldest when they thought they MIGHT have a possible family placement, there was an issue with time constraints as far as fetting them licensed as a foster home before federal law mandated that the child's permanent plan should be in place. It was stated point blank that IF they became a possible placement, it would only be if we did not want to adopt.

The supervisor stressed the whole bonding issue as well. The fact that he had clearly bonded with us, that too made us a better fit already. I am from Washington, and part of their new policy is to uproot children as little as necessary because once they realize that the bonds they form are not always going to be there, their studies find that they become less likly to be successful in life and more apt to repeat the cycle of foster care with their won children.

I would rely on your CASA...they can often make or break a case. Afterall, they ARE the voice of the child who can't speak for themselves!

mommyto9 · #6 10-18-2005, 08:24 PM

WOW! I just found out from our cw that, bio. mom has written to a third cousin about her children that we have in our home. Our fs has been in our care since Jan. '04 and his baby brother in our care for 7 months (we got him when he was 2 days old). This 3rd cousin called cw and said she is a certified foster home (Yikes!) and would be interested. The way I understand it is....interested if they need a home, but not actively seeking to get them. Everyone involved in this case knows we want to adopt and has been supportive of that. I was just devastated to hear of a 3 rd cousin. My dh husband is tryng to reassure me, but it's very scary! I mean the oldest one has practiclly lived with us as long as he lived with his bio. parents. And to the baby I am "mommy". Both boys have a GAL, so I pray they'll make a good recommendation. Sorry, this was about "me", but it was soooo similiar! May God prevail in both cases!!!

Blessings!

wish41more · #7 10-18-2005, 10:53 PM

I just posted this somewhere else but I met someone today that had her fs for 5 months when they were going to take him away to live with out of state relatives. She hired an attorny and she won!

jackiesbooks · #8 10-19-2005, 04:39 AM

I can not believe 4th cousins are actually considered relatives. I have a large close extended family. I know my 2nd cousins but that it is. Hopefully the judge will think this is crazy too!

BeckyTeehee · #9 10-20-2005, 06:57 AM

Ok, here is the latest. And yes these 4th cousins have a GLOWING homestudy and have an attorney who in fact they are paying to intervene in this case. Yesterday in court we could never get to the placement hearing. What happen was the childs attorney the DA and the 4th cousins attorney were presenting their interpretations of the law and diffrent parts of it. The judge decided he wanted time to look over the law himself and make a decision. He will then notify the attorneys via written form. This hearing was an intervention hearing to see if these 4th cousins could even intervene in the case at all. I have been a basket case!!

What do you think will happen?

Thanks for your responses!!!!

PAmomof1 · #10 10-20-2005, 07:49 AM

This just seems insane!!!

I hope that everything works out well for you and your family. I'm not even sure who my fourth cousins etc. are?

It makes me so sad when fosterparents have had the children for such a lengthy time and then distant family members are able to step in and interrupt the placement and all the bonding that has occurred. That can't always be good for the kids.

BeckyTeehee · #11 10-20-2005, 08:12 AM

Oh gosh, I so pray we are able to keep her!!! Thanks for your support!

Wish41more- Interesting story!!! Do you have anymore deatails? can I talk to this person? LOL!!!!

BeckyTeehee · #12 10-20-2005, 08:14 AM

mommy29!
I'm praying for your situation!!!!
I hope they stay just where they need to be!!
Keep me posted!

BeckyTeehee · #13 10-20-2005, 08:16 AM

I wanted to say too,,,,thank you for your support!!!!! It means the world to me. I'm SO glad I found this board!

jackiesbooks · #14 10-20-2005, 09:35 AM

First my prayers are with you and the child, BUT I have to say again - Are 4th cousins really considered relatives??? CRAZY

mallory4 · #15 10-20-2005, 01:35 PM

Wow, that is unbelievable. I know I may get flamed for saying so, but I think when the child is so young that they have no relationship other than blood with family members, I don't know why family is given such precedence anyway... I think it can make things harder on the child.

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