[All Boys]

Our foster son has weekly supervised visit's with his mom... But DCFS is looking to prove that mom, is not capable of caring for herself, much less a baby.
They recieved a letter from mom's Dr. that said in his opinion, she was not capable of caring for herself. This was after that baby was removed. Mom is schelduled for a phsyic. evalation next week.
This week I stayed for the visit, and she was talking about his birthday, and she couldn't even remember when his birthday was. She was a month off. Then she says it is hard to keep up with him, since I don't have him with me all the time..
Just my opinion from what I have witnessed, and knowing what he came out of, she is not capable of caring for him.
We have already agreed to a completely open adoption, if she is declared not capable of caring for him..
But we are looking at a long drawn out process, and weekly visits to continue....

I feel for you... I hope that things get better really soon... And TPR takes place soon....

Hugs,
Gina

[mckenna]

thanks everyone. i have actually had a relationship with my daughter's bmom for 4 years as she is my son's bmom and i also fostered another of her children for 11 months. i transported the middle child to unsupervised visits as they were generally from sat morn till sunday afternoon. however, i am working single mom and cannot transport my current foster daughter to visits in the middle of the work day. also, we have recently had a falling out due false accusations she made about me and my 4 year old son (her bson).

the gal is intending to ask for visits to stop at the next court hearing which is in early jan. so for now, i just have to grin and bare it.

all boys,
i would think twice about agreeing to a completly open adoption so early in the game. i made the same mistake. there is a reason kids come into care, their parents are not able to provide a stable safe environment for them. agreeing to a completely open adoption could be dangerous. i am not saying it needs to be closed, just be careful with how much info is given to birth parents (this is in the case of dfs involvemetn)

[mckenna]

i am sitting here holding my breath as my fdaughter is suppossed to be picked up for another visit. however, no one has come for her yet. bmom was supposed to call the day before to confirm the visit and if she didn't sw was not going to pick her up. i am just hoping she does not cave and go pick her up just cuz bmom shows up. it is so nerve wracking, wondering if she was put into a car seat correctly and if she is being taken care of and if she is scared with no one around she is familiar with. i am glad i won't have to go through that today. at least i hope not. it s now 1 hr and 15 minutes pas the time she was supposed to be picked up.

[kharrison]

I have a 11mnth old and 2yr old foster daughter's and they havent visited with bio mom in over 2wks.. Is that documented by sw or should I do that? Court comes back up in Nov. and I would love to adopt these two girls..Mom has done nothing that I know of since them being removed in July. I ask what the case plan is for her and they dont tell me... Bio Dad will be getting out of Jail this month will they then start a new plan with him??? JW...
K

[mckenna]

the sw should be documenting everything, but don't rely on it. i keep records of ever visit and missed visit. every appearance mom makes in court also. last time we were in court, they checked with me to make sure the info was correct and i was easily able to give them that info.

do the girls havea a casa worker or gal? i would get in touch with them to find out more of the case plan if you aren't getting info from sw. go to all the court proceedings if you can, as well.

no visit to day!!!!

[kharrison]

Yeah they have a CASA worker I just called her and left a message.. I dont even usually know when they have court....

[mallory4]

Marymary and others, thanks for the good ideas about how to handle visits. For those of us who are just starting out, this kind of info is so valuable, and we would never hear it from our social workers!

If we do start having to take R for visits, I will know to document everything and try to get it heard in hearings. Thanks!