[PAmomof1]

I just found out yesterday that there was a court hearing for my foster daughter.. no one mentioned it to me or even sent me a notice
But the visits have been lowered from 2x's per week to 2x's per month.

I'm sure this is due to the fact that the mother hardly ever shows for the visits. There have been 16 in the past few months and she's made it to 4.

Is this normal? What if she continues not showing? Will they stop the visits all together?

I was really concerned about this because my FD gets transported to the visits and the mom doesn't call to say that she isn't coming. She just doesn't show up. Well my foster daughter has medical issues and with the cold weather coming, I'm anticipating a lot breathing problems and didn't want her to have to go out in the bad weather 2 x's each week if she didn't have to. Because in the end, the mother will have not shown up, and I'll be the one taking care of her when she's sick.

So anyway.. sorry to ramble on? Could we be getting closer to a goal change???

I've had her for 7 of her 9 months of life. She's never been in her mother's care due to her being a paranoid schizophrenic and not being able to care for her medical needs when she was born a preemie.

The also appointed me Medical and Educational Guardian... the other thing is that the attorney referred to my home as my foster daughter's pre adoptive home.... That's the first time I'd heard that.

I better call my caseworker tomorrow.

Sorry for rambling! And thanks in advance for your responses.

[tlc4kidz]

I would guess the visits were decreased for non-compliance. We had a similar problem when my kids were in fc. The cw finally made bps call to confirm at least one hour prior to the time they would be picked up for the visit, and if they did not call there would be no visit. Try to see if you can get something like that arranged....it is hard on these little ones to get dragged around for no reason.

[gclvaruba]

Originally Posted by PAmomof1

... the other thing is that the attorney referred to my home as my foster daughter's pre adoptive home.... That's the first time I'd heard that.

Congratulations! Aren't we always the last ones to know???

[bumpkin]

With my twins, the birthmother never visited, so her visits were essentially terminated....however, until the TPR was granted she had to be offerred one visit per month. We scheduled it for the 3rd thursday of the month and if she didn't call to confirm with the SW 24 hours in advance it was cancelled.

She never came. But the law was she had to be offerred it, at least here.

[Dmommab]

We had that situation with a couple of our foster children. Ended up the caseworker made the foster mom come to the visit early (enough time for me to drive to the visit). When (& if) she showed up the caseworker called me & we left for the visit. That way we had to be "ready" and leave as soon as she called but if mom didn't show up we didn't waste a trip there. We even had this happen with a mom when the visit was an hour and a half from my house. Mom would have to be there at 9 and caseworker would call to let me know she was there. She would have to wait there for me to drive to the visit (an hour and a half!). Caseworker only did this after I had driven this far numerous times & mom didn't show up. Maybe the caseworker could work something like that out. Good luck!

[Michelle 053002]

I am also in PA. we were told in training, the more visits -closer to child going home, the less- farther away and heading to TPR.
Our visits went from once a week to once a month in April. Mom has missed 2, she has to call by noon the day of visit or it's cancelled. since she did that and the 6 month review hearing is in October and she is having no contact with anyone they have stopped her visits, she didnt' even call to ask why. it's really sad.

So I would agree you are closer to adoption. Congratualations, sorry you weren't told more by your CW. Are you by any chance dealing with Berks county? we have very poor comunications from there. Half the time the cw gets cases mixed up and our CW is given wrong info too.

[PAmomof1]

Thanks you guys for your responses! I'm in Allegheny County. And I have to honestly say that so far my experiences have been pretty good.

Normally my caseworker is extremely on top of things. I'm not sure how she got the time for the hearing wrong. But I already have the date and the time for the next hearing penciled in my book. December 13th. My foster daughter will be one by then and will have been in my home for 10 months. This is so scary because the baby was my first placement.

I'm not sure if the mother will even come twice per month to see the baby. She always comes up with excuses. I remember a couple of weeks ago she cancelled the visit because she said she had to cash her SSI check I felt like crying when I heard that.

[kaylasmom]

The truth is, when a parent don't show up, they just shorten the visits. My first fd went once a week for an hour. mom always came, then when we went to court and she didn't get her back becauseshe hadn't finished her case load, she started missing. maybe coming twice a mth, then down to once a mth, then to every now and then. I got tired of the drive, and then the sad disapointment that I told the sw to do somthing. She started making mom be there an hour ahead of us. if she was 15 min late we would get a call saying don't come. Mom has lost all rights now.

I have 2 brothers also, and there dad and mom comes on different days. Mom only comes maybe once a mth, she has to call in by a certin time or there is no visit. Dad just got his visits incressed, to twice a week yea dad.

alk to the sw, and ask for some type of plan, with gas so much, and the pain so great they should help in some way.

But if i had to guess i'd say, congradulations mommy.

[PAmomof1]

Aww thanks! I finally talked to mom's cw, yesterday and she told me that at the next court hearing in December, they are going to try for a goal change


In the meantime, mom has a 6 year old son that a family member has custody of and the cw's would like us to set up sibling visits without the mom. I am all for it and so is the relative. Maybe just once/mo since they are so small.

I am really excited and of course scared because I know things change and are not always etched in stone. I need to find out how this adoption process will go and what to expect.