[pugsooie]

Okay.
I posted a couple of weeks ago fed up with foster parenting and I still am.
My husband has been offered a job in Texas that he has to be to by the end of the year. It is an absolute wonderful opportunity for us.
However, we have a 1 year old foster daughter who we got right out of the hospital. Sept 1 they are requesting TPR on her. Now, I know that it does not mean that she will go up for TPR only a request. I want to adopt this girl more than anything! I do not know what I will do if I lose her. However, even though my foster daughter's attorney stated that DHS can pull strings and get this done for me, they are refusing to. They keep bringing up that she has lice a few months ago...which she only had 2 bugs, and she goes to daycare, and that we just now got our adoption paperwork in...
I don't know what to do. Should I just give her up? I can't live with that thought. Should I give up a wonderful opportunity and more money than we have ever made? Should I let him go and leave later? I don't know. I feel like I'm going crazy...
Should I get my own lawyer?
Let me ask you this. I have thought about talking to the birth mother and asking if she would sign over rights instead of going through all of this. Has anyone ever done this before?
Please, if anyone has some advice let me know!!

[spitzlvr]

I can only reply from my heart. If it were me, I would let him go, and see what happens with the baby here. It is mid-Aug now, even waiting till the end of the year is really not that long - not for 2 people you love.

[IowaGirl515]

Originally Posted by pugsooie

Okay.
I posted a couple of weeks ago fed up with foster parenting and I still am.
My husband has been offered a job in Texas that he has to be to by the end of the year. It is an absolute wonderful opportunity for us.
However, we have a 1 year old foster daughter who we got right out of the hospital. Sept 1 they are requesting TPR on her. Now, I know that it does not mean that she will go up for TPR only a request. I want to adopt this girl more than anything! I do not know what I will do if I lose her. However, even though my foster daughter's attorney stated that DHS can pull strings and get this done for me, they are refusing to. They keep bringing up that she has lice a few months ago...which she only had 2 bugs, and she goes to daycare, and that we just now got our adoption paperwork in...
I don't know what to do. Should I just give her up? I can't live with that thought. Should I give up a wonderful opportunity and more money than we have ever made? Should I let him go and leave later? I don't know. I feel like I'm going crazy...
Should I get my own lawyer?
Let me ask you this. I have thought about talking to the birth mother and asking if she would sign over rights instead of going through all of this. Has anyone ever done this before?
Please, if anyone has some advice let me know!!

If it's doable, I'd see if you could work out staying until the adoption is completed. However... how long could that drag on? What does DH think about it? Could they approve her going with? No one knows what the court will do...((hugs))

As for the lice, I don't see how it could have been THAT big of a deal if it was taken care of in a timely manner. Kids can get lice when they're around other kids.

[waiting home]

If the case is going to go to TPR, you declare interest in adopting her, the adoption screening is approved and you are selected as the pre-adoptive family, there is no reason why the baby cannot go with you to Texas before finalization of an adoption.

You do not have to stay to finalize if the court agrees that the baby should be your child. I would imagine it would be handled like any other interstate adoption. Finalization just may take a little longer cuz now you are involving ICPC. But it's definitely do-able! A headache, by do-able.

I would not (IMO) approach bparents about relinquishment. I get the feeling that someone is watching you and this baby very carefully for some reason and has no hesitation of pointing out things that they think a judge may rule against you. It could even be bmom. You just don't know. You don't want to risk the possible pre-adopt by anyone accusing you of bribing or coercing bmom for her baby. Be very careful with that. Remember, these are desperate people in desperate situations.

Unfortunately, you have to play by the rules. If CW is in your corner (for adoption), she might suggest this to bmom, but I would never do it as foster mom. It could truly backfire on you. (IMO).

I would advise do what you have to do for your family. If placement with this baby is meant to be, they will work it out for you with court dates, etc. Discuss all of this with CW and see what her/his take is on the situation and decisions you are facing and how you feel about the baby.

I would just advise not to act alone. Judges do not like that. It's considered reckless.