[bange]

If you have been matched with an older child for adoption... when that child is placed in your home and they start school - are they allowed to go by the last name they will obtain legally when the adoption is finalized or do they keep their birthname during the 6 month placement period?

(i wasn't sure where to post this question - if anyone has a better suggestion on where to post, it would be very much appreciated)

[SherBear2528]

Hi there, we are wondering the same thing, and are considering holding our 5 year old back from Kindergarten if they are not supportive of this method. I am calling the Elementary school our son will go to tomorrow. I assume only the principal and the K teacher will be able to truly tell me what their policy is. I would suggest contacting the admin involved in your situation, but will also let you know what they tell me.
In our case, we are also changing the spelling of his first name (pronunciation is the same) so we are hoping they will jus let him use the soon-to-be legal full name.

[Mom2Crysta]

We had the same question. When we enroll our foster daughter, soon to be OUR daughter in Dec 2005, in third grade last week, the administion told us that legally they CANNOT change her name until she is offically our daughter. Although, we talked to the principal and they agree to call her by our last name but on her report card and all administative things it would have to be her birth name. We are crossing our fingers that no one gets confussed! We were very thankful for their cooperation!

[aMarylandfamily]

Schools are required to use the "legal" name - there isn't a choice. Many will, as the poster above identifies, be cooperative and allow use of the new name by the teachers and cross-reference everything ... depending on the age of the child, I would chat with them and make sure they are ready to be called by your last name or if they want to wait until it is official. If he/she chooses to use the new one in day to day life, make sure that you are comfortable using the old one at the same time ... should a substitute be given an attendance list - that may not reflect classroom practices or whatever.

[MamaTo6]

With us it is a little different. (Ontario,Can) We were given a packet of papers to be individually given out when necessary. The paper is on letter head from the CCAS and has info on it that a school, day care or Dr.s office might need. This is what it looks like:

To whom it may concern:
CONFIRMATION OF ADOPTION PLACEMENT

EFFECTIVE DATE: June 15th 2005

CHILDS BIRTH NAME: Steven James R.

CHILDS ADOPTIVE NAME: Jack Steven James Willowby

DATE OF BIRTH: JUNE 7, 2003

ADOPTIVE PARENTS: June and Jack Willowby

ADDRESS: 12 Greenway Ave

PHONE: 363 282 9487

The above named child was placed with Jack and Jane Willowby on adoption on June 15th 2005. Any help you may offer to facilitate their adoption would be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely : Whoever


I have used this to obtain a library card for my son and his name has been changed on his DR.s records. Also we are given another packet of papers with his adoptive name on them giving us permission to obtain medical treatment.

Barbie

P.S. This may only be for babies/toddlers. I could see potential problems if for some reason an adoptive placement didnt work out. Guess I wasnt much help.

[bange]

This was what I had heard about... some kind of paper that would allow us to legally have their new name on all documents but I wasn't sure what it was called.

Do you recall what the name of the document is that allows you to use their new name before actual adoption? Did you get this when the child was placed? or later? THANKS.

[ohiomom1000]

We adopted in Ohio and when our son was placed with us he was 12. The case worker gave us a letter to take to the school and he used our last name and his new first name immediately.

[bange]

Originally Posted by ohiomom1000

We adopted in Ohio and when our son was placed with us he was 12. The case worker gave us a letter to take to the school and he used our last name and his new first name immediately.

What kind of letter? Could you tell me exactly what it said so I may ask our social worker? THANKS SO MUCH!

[Lorraine123]

We used our last name as our daughter's last name in school even before finalizaton. Now, she went to a private school and maybe that had something to do with it. Also, its a very small school and maybe they didn't realize that they should use her lgal name. I don't know, but I'm glad they did.

[MamaTo6]

Here that letter is called CONFIRMATION of ADOPTION. Im sure if you explain to your wrkr what it is that you need, she/he will know what you are talking about.

Warm wishes...MamaTo6

[bange]

THANKS! That is exactly what I needed. If anyone knows of "other" names for the letter please let me know as well. THANKS AGAIN!

[whiterhino42]

Well I don't know about other places but I know that in Mass they were CRYSTAL CLEAR about names, they said you CANNOT under any circumstance call a child by another name (even a nickname!!!) until adoption is finalized. They actually told us of a situation where this had cost a family their child because the birth parent got so upset and made a big episode and the judge got very angry with the adoptive parent for "presuming" so much and that was the end. Even a newborn straight from the hospital in MASS must be called by the FULL name the birth parent gave them.