[HDooley]

My husband and I have finished the foster parenting classes and are more than ready to start fostering, except on one level-- the one that includes things like toys, space, and cute kid-furniture. We are still finishing paperwork and CPR classes, so we could not really get started for a few weeks regardless, but I keep going back and forth on how much beyond that we really need to have before we start taking kids. We will be buying a house and moving really soon-- should I wait until we are settled or just get started, in case it takes a few months to get the move worked out? We don't have kids of our own, so I feel like we need to make our house a little more kid-friendly, but is this really a priority? I feel totally prepared for the "hard" part (emotional stuff), so how much of the physical stuff should we really have before we have the kids? How "ready" were you and do you think it was "enough?"

The desparity of the need for foster homes in my area is overwhelming and I see it every day (work). There are three times as many foster kids as there are homes for them. While the limit on the number of kids in your home is supposed to be five (including your own), I have heard from CWs that twice that is regularly being approved through a "wavier," which is in my opinion, a magic piece of paper that serves to eliminate the standards. The homes stay so consistently full that keeping siblings together is almost an impossibility. I hope to take a sibling group or two of up to 4 or 5 kids total, any ages, and (here) it is realistic that I could have that right away. We don't have the financial reserves to run right out and load up on all that we'll need as soon as we get kids. I need to ask friends for hand-me-downs and hit yard sales to accumulate the "stuff." Have any of you overcome financial challenges in creative ways?

Thanks in advance for the advice!

[Kate1129]

Garage sales and Hand-me-downs!!!

We started with the basics! A few toys and a dresser for each kid and a bed. The rest we pieced together once the kids were here!!!

[readyforkids]

I just got my first placements yesterday and they came with some raggy clothes two movies and one book. Believe it or not they really didn't seem to notice that they had so little! Fd A is 6 and Fs E is 4. My bio son gave E some matchbox cars and he was delighted! A was a little discouraged that there was not any "girl toys" my hubby ran out to buy a car seat and also picked up a couple of inexpensive dolls for her and a new truck for E and you would have thought it was Christmas in August! The sw gave me two 50$ clothes vouchers one for each. I went to KMart and picked up some new clothes for each of them today and it was again like Christmas. All in all I spent about 25$ in my own money for them. A told me that nobody got her so many presants in her whole life and now she must be a princess! E was just thrilled with the truck and that it was all his! That was worth all the money in the world to see these kids so amazed at new stuff!

I wouldn't buy too much until you see what they have already, a friend of mine got a child that came with a truck load of stuff from another Foster Home. But my kids had basicly nothing and they also came from another foster home so you never know. I had the basics a bed for each a tag sale dresser in each room a few hand me down books from friends and the dollar store. No clothes I had no idea what to buy before hand. All went well for us and if they do come with nothing the state will give you a voucher for clothes anywhere fron 25$ to300$ in my state CT
Sorry I was so long winded! Good luck to you!
Stephanie
Bio mom to M 21 J 19 J 10
Foster mom to A 6 and E 4

[radkat]

I always keep a box of toys on hand. Just simple things that can make being in a strange place a little more bearable. We also have a box of stuffed animals and when children come to my home one of the first things they can do is pick out their new foster home friend.

Things we have on hand are snacks and light foods such as soups and lunchables. Most of the time the children come to your home hungry and will eat if you offer it to them.

I've done this for so long I've accumlated a box of clothing in assorted sizes. To start you might want to have just plain white undershirts (medium or large sized) boys and girls can sleep in those. I visited thrift stores for a variety of clothing. Just things to last until you can get their clothing vouchers. Diapers and Pull-ups are always good to have on hand. I've had 3 and 4 year olds come to me in diapers.

Good luck in your foster care journey. I hope you have a long and wonderful career.

Kathy
Fostering since 1999

[TexasJingles]

Well, we had one room set-up for our homestudy (that story is another whole thread! ). It was complete with bunkbeds (new - not the cheapest, but the next up that was all wood), new sheets and comforter (from Wal-mart) and a large teddy bear. We also had board games from candyland to life (some I had from when I was a kid).

We had the other room set-up as a guest room before and hadn't really done anything to it.

Since we didn't know how many, what the ages would be, and weren't sure whether it would be straight adopt or foster-to-adopt we just left it until we were approached with a possible placement.

Our foster-to-adopt came through before any bites on straight adoption and we were given just days to get ready (literally notified on Monday that we were picked and did we want them, mulled it over hard for 2 days, and they were here on Friday!).

We had already decided that the 2 boys would take the bunkbed room and the girl could sleep on the guest bed and we'd let her pick out her bed after a few days....well, that didn't set to well with me, so the night before they came we went to Wal-mart and bought a twin bookcase headboard set and a mattress from a place close by. I just didn't want the girl to feel left out that she didn't get new things like the boys.

We went the "expensive" route, but I wouldn't change anything. We just found out 2 days ago that they are finally all legally free and we should finalize adoption in November.

As for clothes, no we didn't have anything. They came with a lot (except the youngest boy that came with a lot of everything except only one pair of shorts and a pair of long pants). We went out the next day and bought him some. We never did get a voucher for that either. We did have a person hand us down a LOT of clothes that did fit this little one, so we didn't have to go all out.

We did learn not to get wire hangers (they became weapons during a royal, multi-child tantrum). We also zipped up all the matteresses and pillow in plastic (great for wet as well as possible allergies). Oh, and the white t-shirt (undershirts) suggestion was great! Ours wear that with a pair of boxers (worn over briefs) as pj's. A lot cheaper too! Or the little stretch warm-up type shorts work well too.

I think how prepared you are really depends if you're planning just to foster, or if you're planning on possibly adopting them. Ours have grown so much in the 10 months that we've had them, I'm glad I didn't go overboard on the expensive clothes! Good Luck with you placement!

[mommyto9]

We just let our church family know we were going to start fostering and we were given all kinds of very necessary items. Dressers, beds, clothing, toys, etc. Now friends of friends know we foster and we still receive hand me downs clothing, but it usually very nice items. Everyone at church knows we have a large family so any time there's left over food from a dinner, VBS, or whatever people always insist it be sent home with us. Which is fine with me. We've been extremely blessed by friends and family! Just wanted to note that we do buy the children new clothes and toys. Also the boys we have now have all been here over a year so they all got their own special bedding for their birthdays. We've got cars, spongebob, and Star Wars, and they LOVE it!

Good Luck!!!!

[Mom2J]

Our youngest is a relative placement, that was in foster care for over a year.

Well, we knew we were going to court, so we bought him a little outfit and on a visit, we traced his foot, so we could size a pair of shoes.

He literally came with the clothes on his back and a stuffed Mickey Mouse toy. That's it. He had nothing. The clothes he had were a pair of shorts and a t-shirt (in November ) and his shoes were 2-full sizes too big. His grandmother bought 2-heavy, fleece sleepers (the kind that are fuzzy with feet in them), that were just too hot for him to wear.

Be prepared for the child to have everything or nothing. Our son was smaller in size, so he had some clothes that we had saved to donate and ended up using on the youngest. (Thank goodness or it would have been even worse.) We let him pick out his bedding and pillow, so he'd sleep with something that was all his very own.

2-weeks later (gee, was his one-outfit supposed to last him for that length of time???) we were given 2-garbage bags filled with clothes and toys (supposedly his stuff from the bparents). We couldn't even open the bag in the house, because the bags were so dirty and the stench was horrible. Thank goodness we opened them outside, because when we did, roaches came out. Those bags had girls clothes (he's a boy), men's dirty underwear, I mean, I can't even describe what disgusting things we saw. The stuffed animals were tattered to the point, I couldn't even wash and sew them to make them look or smell good. Everything just went into the trash. The stuff was absolutely disgusting.

Mom2J

[hesabanana]

We found out about a "potential placement" in the morning while we were both at work, and I brought him home with me that day.
Friends, neighbors, and colleagues were wonderfully generous with hand me downs. A quick trip to Target got us set with essentials that couldn't wait, and by the time I got home with the baby, we had more stuff on our porch than we knew what to do with.
Word of advice: Make sure you know how to install a car seat a head of time!!!
Good luck!

[kikibrando]

Freecycle is a great resource! We became foster parents six months ago and received two placements. Our youngest fd is 4 month and our oldest fd is 16.
We joined the local Freecycle group to find supplies for the baby. When requesting something, we noted we were foster parents and seeking to supply our home with needs for children. In a matter of days, we had a crib, high chair, and clothing. We have also managed to find a changing table this way.
When our son, B, arrived, we found a toddler bed for him. The donation was greatly appreciated and it's been a blessing for us! When we outgrow these things, we will post them on Freecycle again for someone else.


www.Freecycle.org

[leaabc123]

It is really hard to buy a house and deal with the issues related to foster parenting, especially if you are new.

We went through that a few months ago and we had stuff already. If at all possible, I would advise waiting until you are moved into your new home, if you know you are definitely moving.

In the meantime, the previous suggestions are great. Start stocking up on various items. Set aside some money for other essentials like clothing, shoes, etc.

And know that sometimes you may have one age group in your profile but they may call you for older or younger kids who may fit into your home and you might say yes.

So, you may find yourself buying a crib in the middle of the night like we did for our first placement because we were expecting to get calls for older kids.

[IowaGirl515]

I agree about garage sales and putting the word out. Also, 2nd hand stores. The city I work in has SEVERAL children consignment stores and I found several like new outfits for $3-$4 each. Also, EBAY is great too.. just not very quick if you're in a pinch!

I have become a QUEEN of clearance shopping. I have plastic tubs of every size up to 7. Some have more clothes than others... everytime I go to WalMart or the like I ALWAYS pick up a couple items. $10 each time is a lot easier than shelling out a bunch of money at once. Also, sweatsuits can be gender neutral and are very inexpensive. Even if you just have a few sets on hands, they could tide you over until you can get to the store... plus, they can be used as pjs as well!! ;-)

Also, because you don't know what ages, I would stock up on simple foods like Mac and Cheese and hot dogs for fast quick meals.

Our kids arrived with a few outfits, blankies, and some diapers. All the clothes were NASTY to the point they were laundered and bagged. I did wash the blankies a few days later, but not until the girls were willing to help. I wasn't going to force them to wash them until they were ready.

Edited to Add: We also had no children before we started... of course, we too thought we were totally ready. Now, I realize there's NO WAY I could have handled a sibling group larger than the two I have considering the issues that come along with foster care... as for getting your house ready, the first few days they were home we watched them like a HAWK so we could catch what we needed to make out of bounds. Funny thing was that there we things we would have never thought of until they came along!

[wish41more]

We've had 2 placements so far and even though we have a 3yo we still needed to run to Target right after we got called. It's stuff I didn't think about like an infant bath tub, rattles, burp clothes, etc. I've gotten rid of most of the stuff my son had as a baby so it was like starting all over. Also, when we got M he was only 6 weeks old and came with clothes that were too small for him, 1/2 a pack of diapers and 1 can of formula that he spit up profusely! We ended up having to change the formula and we spent a tone of $$ on him in the first week. You can probably do it cheaper by going to garage sales and asking friends for stuff but we tend to always spend more money than we have, it's a really bad habit, I know! ;-)
Good luck!

[wrekdiver]

We waited and didn't buy anything until we heard of our first placement. When I got the age (2mo.) I bought enough clothes for a week and borrowed a crib. Well, the placement fell through so we just stored the stuff until our next call. My point is, esp. if your looking at sibling or multiple placements, just wait. You can always go out that afternoon or the following weekend and hit the garage sales/ used clothing stores.
Also, begin to think of a system on how you will store these things after you get them. I bought rubbermaid containers and label each with clothes sizes. That went for toys as well, each box gets age related toys. If the toy is too large to fit in a box, I consider giving it to the child as a going away present or I give it to my sister to yard sale for me. And I have shaved HOURS off searching in the basement and attic for things.
My friends and family are also a huge support and help. They will lend me things at the beginning of the placement until I know how long they will be here and then I can consider getting my own stuff.
For all borrowed clothes, I have a system. Each person I borrow from gets a number which I write on a piece of paper and place in one of the dresser drawers. That number goes on the underside of all clothes labels where it will not be seen. Then when the children outgrow the clothes or leave I can easily remember who I borrowed from. I also have a number for me. That way, all clothes get numbered!!
Don't be afraid to ask the sws for help as well. They usually have clothes, car seats and other extras that they can lend or give you.