[Robin61]

Hi I have my first placement, We have had him for a month. Its been wonderful. We have met the Bio parents and both parents come for visits and seem loving towards the baby. They thank us all the time for taking care of the baby. They tell us they want him to be part of his life when they get him back. Which we think will happen. He is with us for the net 6 months they went to court Friday. We drive 20 miles to the visit and we found out they live 5 minutes from us. I would never tell them where we live. Has anyone had a good relationship with the bio parents. They gave us there phone number which I would not call because of caller ID. I just don't know how much contact is too much

ROBIN

[beccer]

that is a really good post.
I have yet to get my first placement, but this info will be very helpful to me.

thanks for the post,
Beccer

[Dmommab]

It would be difficult having the bio parents live that close. The first foster children we had I basically met the mom once or twice but she was incarcerated most of the time the kids were with us. I did have contact with 2 aunts & the grandma. They visited our house several times & we visited theirs. The children eventually ended up being adopted by these relatives.
the next foster child we got had been in foster care previously and I knew her family because she was a foster child at my friend's house & I kept in touch with them after she went home. When she came back into care she came to my house. They knew my phone number and address but there were never any problems.
The next foster child we got was a 2 day old baby. His mom was a prostitute & a drug addict. I've never had any contact with her & would not feel comfortable having her know my address, phone # or anything else.
The last sibling group that we have came to our home 2 and 1/2 years ago & we have developed a close relationship with both bio parents. We have adopted the children as parents rights were terminated but there was never any abuse, drug use, etc. so we maintain an open adoption with them until they give us reason to do otherwise. I think you have to tread very carefully but treat each situation individually. Good Luck!

[elismommy5]

We have ALOT of contact with our bio parents and it's good/bad they have both my home and cell #'s also email address and we see each other 2 times a week at visits, i am also encouraged by the SW to make extra visits to the park,mcdonalds,dinners and doctors appointments most of which biomom declines to show up to, but i still need to show that i am willing to make the effort. Just today she missed her court appointed visitation because she over slept... and she hasn't seen C. going on 2 weeks now because he's been sick due to her smoking around him at the last visit she came to, so the good part of having alot of contact with bps is that you, yourself get to see whats going on, no third party info here, i see all and know all when it comes to the visits, which is a plus at CPTS and court.But the bad thing (well with our case) the bps start to think of you as rivals for their children because they get to see the way the kids are with you verses them, and also you have to deal with them putting you off directly rather than throught the SW example: i've been trying to get our bps to come see C. for over a week back and forth emails and they always put it it off and i have to in turn forward all these emails to the SW... Its a pain but i guess now i can see how it has helped by letting me take a more proactive role in the childrens care, being directly involved. Jeez i could go on forever on this subject since i have nearly daily contact with our bps ans they live about 2 miles from us... Its a tough situation.

Melissa
bio mom to eli 5 and half
foster mom to C. 3 1/2 went home 6-30-05
foster mom to C. 2 years old still here

[gormancrew]

We had quite a bit of contact with our birthparents. We were at visits weekly, they occasionally came to hospital stays, or Dr's appts. I tried my best to keep them informed of all the medical issues, and milestones. I brought them photos to almost every visit, and as hard as it was at times, kept a very respectful and positive relationship with them. They also said they wanted us to continue to have contact after reunification. A very good thing to come from frequent contact, is that the BP's can see all the medical issues first hand, and can decide if they can handle them. In our case, our BP's decided to let us adopt. We have offered a relatively open adoption if they want it. To me, I can't think of a better reason to be very involved with your foster child's parents then the bond it will make between all of you regardless of the final placement of the child.

[Kate1129]

We've had contact with the bfamily. It's been limited with the bmom and NONE with either bdad's. Bmom has been the "snitch, go-between, contact" for C's bdad's theft. She tells him what she see's and he get's it later. So I made darn sure she see's nothing of what we have. I have talked with her mom and she was good. But bgrandma split, so we're back to no contact with anyone (Bmom is in jail and SW said no contact). Bdad's have never been a part of the case. They both know they are in for trouble if they come forward.

I guess I'd say that you need to go with what kind of family are you dealing with. If it's sketchy like our bfamily, be careful.

[jackiesbooks]

If you wanted to give a number - how about a cell phone? I would never give bparents my home info - we had a good relationship until the case looked bad for them. And then we had trouble. Cell or email only