[GingerR]

Our new placement, a 7 month-old girl, has a 17 year-old mother and 14 year-old father. Both have issues with drugs, and neither has a parent who qualifies to care for the child due to their own drug or abuse issues.

I learned yesterday that they gave the 14 year-old father a case plan, and I am, well... a bit perplexed! The 17 year-old mother I can understand because she's at least of working (and driving!) age. But even "if" the father completed a case plan, would they "seriously" grant a 14 year-old custody when his own father -- and his only means of housing -- isn't even qualified to be a relative placement?

Why in the world do they do things like this that will only prolong the process? Is it a requirement that all parents must be given a case plan - even when the parent is this young? If anyone else has ever been in or known of foster parents in similar situation, your insight is appreciated!

Ginger

[Kate1129]

Common sense tells me that parental rights are in order no matter how old they are. However I sure know that common sense means nothing to the state!!!

[mommyoftwo]

My daughter's birthmom was 13 when she gave birth to her daughter. They worked with her for 2 years before going to TPR. I think they have to try and work with the birthparents first. It was a long 2 years, but I know they were headed down the TPR route. Good luck.

[rindava]

I rather work with a kid then some of the bum b-dads my foster children had....

If his child can't live there why is it all right for him to live there?

Is the SW going to go pick him up for visits????

[leastofthese]

We have a minor birth parent as well. My case worker put it to me this way. "Each time we offer services to the parent, we are building a case. If the parent takes us up on the offer of services, we are building a case for re-unification. If the parent chooses not to take advantage of services, we are building a case for termination and/or adoption."

Chances are good that at 14, this boy will likely not take advantage of opportunities given him. However, as Rinda pointed out, he does have rights to be offered a chance to try to step up to the plate and parent this child to the best of his ability.

This boy (the birth father), or the birth mom for that matter, could request to be voluntarily placed in foster care with his son, so that they can create a bond/relationship while the dad is unable to provide for the child on his own. (I have had this situation with a 16 year old mom before.)

All of that said, my personal response is, "OY! I can't imagine ANY 14 year old boy I ever knew making much of a daddy!"

[waiting home]

Is he named on the baby's birth certificate. If not, chances are he isn't be considered for placement of the child in the future but there may be hopes that with the proper training and support (should reunification with mom occur) that he may stick around to be a "dad" to the baby.

But, don't hold your breath on any of this ever happening. They are way too young to grasp the concept of parenthood. Then again, ya just never know.

[rindava]

they were very, very hard on the 3 teenage girls...even more so then the run of the mill parent and in all cases the girls had no support from any family. Only one b-mom kept her child. They actually had them all placed in foster care with their children at first, but 2 of them could not even manage the basic care before and after school..

They almost always do DNA around here regardless of what birth records say or don't because medicaid and TANIF grant and all that have striciter laws governering the tracting down of birth fathers.....

[HDooley]

I feel for your situation! Logic doesn't apply at DHS and it's furstrating for everyone involved. I used to work at DHS and now I am at a children's shelter, soon to be a foster parent. We have teen moms all the time at the shelter that I work at and most of the time, they surprise the heck out of me at how quickly they learn if they are given any direction at all concerning how to care for their babies. Of course, having all this guidance at a shelter is very different from taking care of a baby in the "real world," but the motivation to learn can be absolutely phenomenal. If we can let them try, WITHOUT risking the child's health (HUGE "if," I know!), then we might be surprised.

It seems completely illogical that God gives babies to babies, but it sure happens, and it isn't a foregone conclusion that it will inherently be a tragedy. That's why they have to work with the teen parents-- just in case they CAN do it. Of course, it seems that this 14 yo boy will not be able to rise to the huge challenge, but the CW has to have something to point to at TPR to say that they told him what was expected and he failed.

I would be surprised if he didn't end up in care, as well, but the standards are different for an infant and a 14 yo. (For example, 14 yo's are rarely taken on environmental neglect but babies are all the time. Things like dog poop all over the floor isn't a clear and immenent danger for a teenager, but it IS for a crawling baby.)

Good luck!