[nassarboy]

Me and my wife have been foster parents for about 5 yrs and last may, while i was in afghanistan, 2 little girls came into our care (ages 8wks and 15mo)- we have raised them well and I will admitt that I am very attached.but they go on visits and i know the goal is reunification. They started unsupervised visits and bad things started comming up.(oh, more info their was 5 kids and we talk to the foster mom of the twins who are 4&5.)The twins started all this sexual acting out and talking about taking showers with mommy and daddy on the one day visits. our little girl came back with a swollen area and started acting out-- although not as drastic as the twins?! We have told the cw and she said kids make up stuff. I told her that not in detail! They dont seem to hear what we are saying and defend the birth parents and say we are too emotionally involved. I know that they will go back and that is ok but i just want it to be better. The cw makes comments like mom wouldnt do that and make both us foster parents feel bad for reporting this stuff. We just told her " hey we just are telling you." We had other complaints like birth parents don't work and we were told that doesnt matter- They can get food from the food pantry. They wont have beds to go too and their birth parents house has some structural problems.( front porch held up by blocks that i cold kick out easily and porch would fall on top of me.

Sorry just venting alittle and seems like nobody is listening too us. I feel we are advocates for the children and I am speaking for them.

[waiting home]

As a mandated reporter, you should call your state abuse line directly. Skip the caseworker, seriously. The report will get to her and they will want to know why she is ignoring your reports and letting the visits continue and suspected abuse to happen.

I would do this immediately. You can do it anonymously too but if you wish to do it that way, they will not tell you what the investigators find out about the situation. It would be reported directly to the caseworker.

Personally, I would report it. If it is never reported properly, your family (foster family) could end up the suspected perpetrators or failure to report is aiding and abedding the crime.

Please act immediately and tell the hotline what you know. Not only for your protection but to prevent those children from being violated again.

This is very serious. Please keep us posted

[nassarboy]

I know a couple of weeks ago my wife called the hotline after a visit and their was some red swollen area and they said the would give it to the caseworker and she never said anything about it. the other foster mom called her boss today about the showers with mom dad and 4 kids
and he said that was abnormal call the hot line and she did and the hotline said it wasnt abnormal. all the caseworker says is that the parents were in care for drug charges not sexual abuse charges.
I know it sounds like i am crazy but all our complaining is getting them to go faster on the reunification. We did make them get the little girl we have a counsling appointment but she is 3 now and still not overly communicative. I did tell the other foster mom to take them to their doctor and see if they will say something and get it medically documented.but kids this small of age are very restricted on who they will trust and talk too.

[GeorgiaGal]

I'd take the kids either to the pediatrician for documention of the injuries or to the local children's emergency room for documentation. In addition when there's the next court hearing about the state of the case I'd be there and make the judge aware of these concerns and that the caseworker basically blew you off. By making documentations of these things then if the kids do end up back home and something worse happens in the future it will be on "the record" that you called attention to these things and the system chose to do nothing about it.

Good luck to you!

[waiting home]

That's a good idea to take them to the emergency room.
That will get the immediate attention necessary. I was going to say a police report, but the ER is definitely better, you'll have the police there with this complaint.

I would definitely make sure that you explain everything fully and your story is consistent. When you go in there, with a child with these symptoms, you are going to be interviewed about 700 times and you will be considered a person of interest. But be honest and sincere that you have tried to go through the proper channels and that this was your only hope of being heard and protecting these children.

I am truly horrified that you are not being taken seriously. If this scenario is truly happening, those poor kids are being brutalized over and over again.

It sounds like the sibs are in different homes? Maybe you can all go together; strength in numbers.

[rindava]

and when we finally got someone to listen the SW smuggly said, we'll if you really thought something was going on you should have called the police...

so, do you have the kids in therapy, and this can be the tricky part.....if you don't at this point you may not be able to get permission to put them in therapy....

the ER is a great way to go also, and tell the doctor everything, especially if they were never swollen like that before...and just act dumb and say, my foster child is crying and comes back from visits with swollen genitals and I don't understand why, I am here to make sure they are okay, and then in detail describ all that is going on and hopefully someone there will take it seriously.....

My girls came in care for severe neglect...

My girls came out of a home where they was almost constant everyday sexual abuse going on by both parents and who ever else the b-mom found to join in....they spent 7 months doing foster care visit crap because the case manager didn't take me serious....the youngest one was raped on an unsupervised visit at age 2 1/2 years the then 5 year old had sex on at least one unsupervised visit and who knows what other sexual abuse might have taken place as the child didn't see the abuse as a bad thing....even these acts were not what got the b-parents prosecuted, it was the therapist who said to the SW, there is something going on and you haven't even done the right kind of investigation.....when the sex abuse investigation took place the b-parents confessed to doing some of the stuff and were just prosecuted on one count, but they signed over their rights to the children.....none of this would have happend if I just sat by and not kept trying to find someone to listen to me...