[AlekseiGirl]

Hello all! I am a new foster parent experiencing my first placement. I'm feeling totally out of the loop...I know nothing about the case. I brought "A" home when she was 7 days old and no one even knew her name! I tracked down the placement worker who gave me her name. I had her with me for two weeks before a cw even called me. I can't get information on court hearings, when, where, what, etc. Even visitations are organized last minute. CW told me 6-18 months, but the mom told me she is trying to get into a rehab program where she can take the baby with her and she will know on Monday. Is this normal? I thought I would be a little more informed and have some idea of what is going on. She's been here now almost three weeks, I've talked to the CW once, taken her to one visitation, and she still doesn't have a permanent caseworker. I knew this would be a rocky road, but shouldn't there be a little more communication going on? I think I am allowed to attend court hearings, anyone know for sure?

On a positive note, the baby was drug exposed but she is just perfect. She sleeps and eats well, rarely cries, and just loves to be held. She is Heaven sent, and just fits right in to our family!

[jackiesbooks]

Many of us have communication issues with workers. I am afraid it is common. Court hearings - varies from state to state. Go to the state forum boards and post your question there. OR tell us what state. In Md, yes but we do not get to talk just observe.

[momofmykids]

Welcome to the wonderful world of foster care!!!

Everything you've mentioned here is not uncommon (except for the name thing, I've never heard of that but I'm sure it happens). As for the last minute visit thing, I wouldn't go for that. You shouldn't have to sit around and wait for them to call you telling you when to have the baby there for a visit. Bmom should have to schedule and you deserve at LEAST 24 hrs. notice. You REALLY must stand your ground here, especially if you have other children. It's not fair to the foster family to always be in *limbo* waiting on birth parents because alot of the time, parents whose kids are in custody aren't very dependable...not in my experience anyway.

I've never heard of a baby in rehab, but I'm sure others here can give you more info on that.

In TN, it's your right to be at all court hearings and most DCS meetings for this baby and DCS HAS to inform you when these meetings/hearings are coming up.

Be sure and stand up for yourself...don't let the state perceive you as a "softie" because some cw's take advantage of that!

God bless you and your little baby!

[hubbyswife]

Welcome to foster parenthood...

I know here that when the kids first come into care they have an investigative sw then they transfer the kids to a treatment sw...

My fs has had 2 treatment sw's, he was with us almost 5 mths before they did a home visit. Fd's sw seems pretty good.... BUT she hasn't called us back yet and we left a message like 3 days ago.....

It gets frustrating b/c they keep us in the dark about the case.... It's also frustrating when u need to get a hold of the sw for something and they never call u back and this happens w the sw's supervisor too...

The system is very frustrating! But when we do get a hold of the swer's they are wonderful!!!

If I have questions, I usually just email our placement sw! She is WONDERFUL!! She'll respond right away.....

As far as court hearings, we have been receiving the dates in the mail. Except for fd, her sw called the night before the court hearing then the day after court we received the notice in the mail.

GOOD LUCK AND WELCOME ABOARD!

[leaabc123]

I agree with momof, tell them you need whatever amount of warning or they will need to transport (24 or 48 hours at a minimum).
There are programs where moms can bring their newborns but they are usually pretty full.

[tybeemarie]

I saw your post and thought, I wonder if she lives in FL or CA? And of course, you live in CA, where, very stupidly, child welfare is a county rather than a state wide system. If the posts on these forums are any indication, CA is very pro-birth family. I think if kids can safely be reunited with their birth family, they should be, but CA seems to take things ridiculously far.

I would contact the California Foster Parent Association for direction about how to learn what your rights are.

Good luck! And congratluations on the baby!

[AlekseiGirl]

Thank you everyone for your replies! The visits are being scheduled ahead of time now that things are settling down a bit. She goes back to court on Monday so we'll see how long I will have the baby for.

I am in CA and they are very pro birth family...so, we'll see how this goes.

[Victoria Lane]

tybeemarie
Wonder if you could enlighten me about FL fc. I'm having a miserable time with our cw, and am considered a softy and need help! '
Thanks

[rindava]

can go with mom's, but usually if the kid is already in the system they would not release the child for that....and if older children have already been removed, then they usually aren't in any hurry to return the child.

I have gotten kids whose names I was given were incorrect and whose age was off by two years, and they kept this going even up to our adoption (but they had it right on the medical card) Usually around here it is the Medicaid workers who track down the correct info.

Social Workers will push you around as much as you let them.....so if you don't feel something is right tell them...If you want to be in on the meetings and court dates tell the SWs, their supervisiors, and when you get to know the GAL and/or CASA worker, let them know as well

[yanknrebel]

WHen we got our legal risk placement at 2 days of age, we were only given the name of what the bf was going to name this child. SO that is what we called her. That was what DCS put her name under (also baby "biomom's last name"). SO we took this precious baby girl home and introduced her to all of our family as baby K, the name we were told the bf had given ehr. Then on day 10, we get a phone call from DCS telling us that the bf (who was not married to biomom) signed off as the father and they chose a NEW name for this baby. It was absolutely nothing like the name we had been given originally. Well, we continued to call her K (or a nickname in a form of the name). After almost 3 years we finally got to adopt this baby girl. We kept her name K and gave her a new middle name. SO it happens. Very irritating.

[shycar]

What I have learned my years of foster parents is expect the unexpected. One time I got 2 little girls. They found them at 10pm with their mother. The mother was soo drunk she kept dropping the baby. She was sooo drunk she couldnt even speak. We did not know the names of the girls. All night and most morning we just called them honey and sweetheart. The next day afternoon they gaves us the names of the girls.

With visit I usually tell the sw what my schedule is and let her know that it can not be changed. So she and the parents need to work with my schedule which is very flexible exept for one day. Im alway honest, but respectful with the sw. I tell them that I need some info so I could help out the child. I go through an agency and if sw will not give me info the agency gets it for us and after that the sw is pretty open with us.