[waiting home]

Here goes the pity party again. But I am soooooo down just waiting and waiting and waiting.

I've read everything that's out there (I have the VISA bill from Amazon to prove that), I've organized everything I could possibly organize and now I have spent a ton of money on toys. The four beds are ready and waiting; empty.

We have three bio kids (15, 13, 10) so we had to scrounge Goodwill, etc. for toys because they are beyond the toy years but we now have TOYS GALORE.

We're told we are on the top of the list when a call comes in, but I can't believe nothing has come through.

It's a private agency that specializes in traditional and relative foster care.

This is our second agency. Our first one specialized special needs, so we are trained and have experience with one placement with this aspect.

I hear all over that foster parents are desperately needed. But here we are, nothing.

OH I'M JUST SO GOSH DARN FRUSTRATED!!!! Needed to vent. But part of me keeps saying why am I so desperate for this. I guess my answer is there are just so many kids in need, we are anxiously waiting but never do the two meet.

I call as much as I can without trying to come off as a lunatic. I know the agency can't just produce kids to satisfy anxious foster parents, can they? (just kidding)

Is there a busy season when the ones on probation lose it? I really can't believe that everyone is behaving (I mean those bad bio parents teetering on removal).

I really don't like feeling like this, obsessed with getting a placement. But we have worked so hard, prepared and prepare our hearts and our home. We have so much to give and no one wants it. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

Thanks for letting me vent. Anyone else out there from Illinois experiencing the same thing?

Or anybody any where?

Foster parents 2 years and counting (1 placement, two false alarms.)

[yanknrebel]

2 years and only 1 placement. I can understand your frustration. We are foster adopt parents through our state social services (DCS). So I can't speak of how private agencies work. However in DCS, when we got at a stand still with no calls for awhile, our adoption cw suggested we go intot he DCS office and sit down with the placing case manager and go over your list of what special needs you will take or feel you would be best fit to handle. You may not ever get special needs through private agency, but my dh and I went in and did a re eval and got a 13 year old and her 3 month old baby that night. I would suggest you call up your contact at the agency and ask her what you need to do? Tell her you are concerned that you have not gotten any placements. I, myself, can not beleive they have not had any children come through there in 2 years, if you are at the top of the list. UNLESS, all of them have been relative placements. Good luck .

[mn_mom4more]

We've been licensed for over 4 months through our county and not ONE single phone call for a placement. Just a couple weeks ago we did get a call from county to take 2 kids for respite for this past weekend, but we weren't going to be around so I had to decline.

We've felt we are being black-balled, and if that's the case, there really isn't much we can do, right? I talked to a social worker (not with county placements) who told me that what happens is they use the same foster homes over and over again. Once they know a home, and trust them, they continue to go back. They, meaning social workers who place children into foster care. He said what happens is established homes get over-used, and new ones get by-passed. He said either that or we are being black-balled! LOL!

For us, we are more interested in Crisis Nursery and Respite for county and Children's Mental Health, so the fact that we don't have any foster kids really isn't a big concern of ours. We have kids here a few times a month... if we didn't we would probably be going out of our mind, a bit like you, waiting home!

Good luck! I hope you get a placement soon! Venting is not only healthy, but one of the reasons we are here... to listen!!!

[waiting home]

Thanks for the replies Moms.

It feels much better to just get it out there (especially in writing) sometimes. And it truly helps when others understand how passionate we are about this work. When I talk to others who aren't foster families I usually get the reply of "God has a plan, be patient." Yes, yes, I know God has a plan, but he does expect us to do some work for it right? He's not just going to hand us everything as we sit back and wait. That's how I see it anyway.

I don't have any reason to believe that we are being blackballed (I hope). Not with this agency any way. The last one, I would say yes; and that's one reason we switched ("green" cw who worked by the textbook and had to be in charge) and limited agency support when things went crazy.

We would prefer to work with traditional kids as our special needs experience "rocked" the entire family.

We are just so ready and it breaks my heart to just be sitting here when we could be helping.

Thanks again. Today is a new day.

P.S. CUTE, CUTE KIDDOS mom4more!!! Puppy too!

[leaabc123]

I will say that sometimes private agencies experience a slow down because the county gets most calls first.

That being said, the "busier times" seem to differ from area to area. Some parents seem to "self-report" during vacations because they have the kids home more and don't know what to do.

School districts seem to make more reports in the fall when kids are back in school because they are mandated reporters.

I will say that our first placements took about 4 months. They had called us a few times prior but we said no for various reasons. After that first placement left, we haven't gone more than a week without getting calls. They know that we are a pre-adoptive home so they only call us for potential long term placements, although there are no guarantees.

We are a county home by the way.

When we didn't have a placement, I called the home finders about once a week to remind them we were empty and to also "chat" them up. Now, when we have an opening, they will call us even if our computer profile does not match the child's profile.

So, I agree that once you earn a reputation, they will be more likely to call you.

However, with 4 open beds, you will get called soon. I can't imagine there not being a need for larger sibling group placements.

Good luck.

[nursie]

It took us 6 months for our first placement. We felt like it was forever. We thought something was wrong and that we would never get a placement.
During that time we did Crisis nursery where the parents drop the children off for 24-72 hours to give them a break. We also were open to short term, long term, and respite care. We also carried the pager for emergency placements (on call 24 hours per day for a week or more at a time.)
We were available for sibling groups also. We were mainly planning to do foster care and were open to the option to adopt a child/children if it turned in that direction. In other words, we did not have adoption as our goal.
Our first placement K,was with us a week, went home for 4 weeks, and then came back to us and he has been with us now 20 months (we just got a TPR and plan to adopt!) His sister was born during this time and came to us 9 months ago at 3 days old (they like to keep sibs together.) We will possibly adopt her if all goes the way we hope.
But back to placements. After we got K back we got a couple calls (false alarms) and 6 months after he was with us consistently we got a sib group of 3. We kept 2 of those 3 for 7 months and then they went to a pre-adoptive home and that didn't work out so they came back to us 4 months later and have been with us full time for almost 2 months again.
So, once you have had the children if they come back in to care or need a new home, they usually try to place them back with you whether they went back to bp's or to a different home. Unless of course you wanted them removed. And the other thing is once you get a child in your home if another sibling is taken into custody , usually you will be the first one called.
After orientation, I went to a lot of training and support group sessions offered foster parents in our county. This helps get your name out there and gets you known/noticed. I don't know if that helped but it can't hurt.
Just some ideas, hope this helps. I agree too that once you get a good reputation they may be more likely to call you.
Good luck and realize the waiting game is very tough but it is all about waiting with foster adopt. Getting a termination will seem like eternity compared to waiting to get children in your home.

[bricbric]

Foster mom in Mississippi with 4 waiting beds.. Is there not any waiting children in Mississippi?

[Navy_RP_Wife]

We are currently stationed in Hawaii and have had our license for 2 months: it only took us 2 months from setting foot into training to getting our foster adopt/at risk adoption license done and officially waiting. Thus far we have encountered a few issues: first, no one seemed to listen to our answers when we were asked what we would and wouldn't accept. We said we couldn't handle a severely physically or mentally disabled child or one with a terminal illness, otherwise call us and we would decide on a case by case basis: which would really open up the door to consider us for placement. Not one call and there are over 6,000 in the system here in Hawaii, about 2,000 of them waiting for homes. We were told that there was not a child that matched our "criteria" Secondly, we are mainlanders and some birthfamilies would prefer to keep their child on the island. Since when does a parent with a TPR get a say in their child's up brining? They had their child removed from them!! The only phone number we had to contact was for our licensing worker and she admitted she has nothing to do with placement, her job to us is to make sure our license is good and current!!! But she wouldn't give me the phone number for a permanancy worker so I could call them. Finally I found a phone number on their website and got a hold of a permanancy worker only to find out that our file basically said we wanted a white, healthy infant girl with absolutely no problems!!! About the only thing that was right was a girl, we said our ages was 0-6!! And then thats when we were told about keeping the kids on the island and keeping them with their culture. I found a really nice way to say it should be more important that these kids have a good loving home than to stay on the island, if that is a choice that needs to be made. We also found out the permanancy workers only meet once a month to plan for permanant placements, but we could get a call for at risk any time. So basically, make sure that your file is correct and keep reminding the workers about you and also how a child would benefit from being placed with your family, not how you would benefit with the child. Best of luck!!