[diane beth]

Hello everyone,

I am kinda new here and we are just about to start our homestudy. We have raised 2dds of our own 20 and 18. Our oldest dd is married and should be having children soon. How does this all go with having one family raised and starting another one? I have always felt that I did not have enough children. I became infertile after a misscarriage when our youngest was 3. It has been my dream to be a fm for quite some time. I am 42 last week and dh is 46. We feel that we are 2 young not to be parents and have lots of room, love, and experience. Would some of you like to share some of your experiences? How does it go with your grandkids? Do they relate well to the fc? Do they get attached? Can the fc be a bad influence? Thanks in advance~diane

[jackiesbooks]

Have no grandkids yet, but I am 43 and my DH is 45. Get ready to lose some friends! Not everyone is happy to have small ones hanging out again. They thought we are crazy.

I alway want to adopt a daughter - 2 boys. Timing was never right. Then I thought I was too old. 2 summers ago - I went on a cruise and met a woman in her early 50s, that had just adopt 3 sisters. I felt that God was smacking me in the face and saying wake up - you are not to old!

Good Luck

[diane beth]

I think our relatives are going to have the worst time with it. We are a homeschool family so most of our friends are still having their own kids in their 40s. We are the only ones that don't have young ones. I can see losing some that dh works with though. We have quite a wide variety of friends so this could be interesting. And you're right! You are not too old! Thanx~diane

[Rocking Mama]

I'm 43, my dh is 45. Our bio kids are 13 and 15. Our adopted dd is 2. What we've noticed is that we are hanging out with younger people now (people in their late 20's and 30's). We have lost some of our old friends who are so anxious for that "empty nest". They seem so OLD to me! LOL! Sitting on the couch sipping coffee while I run like mad after my 2 yo! Complaining about the "noise" and diaper-changing and potty-training again. If you ask me, those things make life worth living!! I think having a "second" family is giving me a second shot at youth. I would have never discovered who The Wiggles were! LOL! I feel younger and more energetic and I'm making more
conscious efforts to protect my health. I am so glad we are raising small children again. JMHO! RM

[jackiesbooks]

When we at the photographers getting my son's senior pictures being taken, the photographer asked if C was our grandchild. I say no (and nothing more). Did she think the 17yr was his father? He is 3, but looks 5

[Robin61]

I am 43 my husband is 46. We are new foster parents no placements yet we hope soon. We have 1 grandaughter 5 and a grandson due in November. My Grandaughter has a sleep over every friday night we are taking her to the beach tomorrow. We love every minute we spend with her. We have 5 sons 2 of whom are adopted due to a family death. When our house was full we were the happiest in our lives. When our Grandaughter goes home its my Son and her mother giving her a bath and reading her a bed time story. I still want to do that. I think by us doing foster care it will teacher our future grandchildren to be givers. I have explained to my grandaughter about the children. Yesterday she said to me Grammy when the foster children come you can help them feel safe and I will help them to not feel lonely. I would love to talk to other people my age doing foster care. Sorry so long ROBIN

[Dmommab]

You'll be great parents AGAIN! My husband is 45 and I am 44. Our 3 biological children are 22, 19 & 14. We have adopted 3 children thru foster care. They are now 5, 2 & 2. We also have legal custody of another 5 year old. MANY of our friends & neighbors think we are CRAZY because our youngest is 14 and can "do for herself" but I wouldn't trade this experience for the world. When my bio children were growing up I was working full time & couldn't really "enjoy" them during the day. Now I have time to really enjoy these little ones & go outside & play and do things I didn't get to do before. I LOVE IT! Go for it - you will NEVER be sorry after your little one hugs you & tells you they love you!

[GingerR]

I am in my 30's so my fd (hopefully adopt) is my first, but this is the second family for my husband. Bless his heart... he is 51 and although his two children are grown, has been just as excited about this experience as a brand-new dad. And his children "love" having a new sister and have been extremely supportive.

I think the love of children and the love of having that warmth and excitement they bring to your home transcends age, if it's really in your heart. And besides, these children so desperately need a family and a good home, so you're never too "old" to give them what they truly need.

Best of luck to you!

[rindava]

I know my children, who are all adopted, really did feel a big loss after loosing 3 foster sib who were with us 14 months....

yes, foster children can be a bad influence on your grandkids and children and any other kids like at church or if you babysit (as many children come with behaviors that can hurt other children) The therapist my children used to see is a foster mom of one of her old clients and the girl is now 16 and she has pretty much run off all of her foster mom's adult children (some due to false abuse allegations and others because the kid can be such a brat)

All that aside....it can also be the best thing you ever did...there are thousands of kids who need homes.....most of the kids really can get over their problems with love and understanding and the others need homes also....

[diane beth]

Thanks for all the replies. I love being able to ask questions here. The people we were in training with are all new just like us and the sw I am not sure about yet although she seems nice and helpful. We had a really busy weekend with our dds grad party on Fri night and father's day. Sorry I didn't reply sooner. We fed about 125 people and we had a barn square dance too. It was alot of fun and alot of work for me. It didn't end until 1 in the morning. Wow!!
I am so looking forward to being a fm. We too love having a full house. We invited lots of our friends with big families to the party and it was soo neat to see all the kids running around. Little toddlers were getting in the way of the dancing trying to join in. I know it will be alot of work but sooooo worth it. Our homestudy should be done shortly so we should have children soon. ~diane

[ourangelbabies]

Hello!! We're new too and are both 43 yrs. old. Just waiting on our license. Our bio sons are 22 and 16yrs. old. So alot of family and friends think we've lost our minds!! We both feel very drawn to be foster parents at this time in our lives and feel it will enrich life completely. My DH has been disable for five years now, so our life went from very active to staying home most of the time. We have the room and lots of love for these little one, but most of all plenty of time on our hands. Hope to keep in touch with all of you!!

[yanknrebel]

I have a bio son who is 20 and a bio daughter who is 18. Both have graduated and moved out on their own. We received our first placement on Feb 3, 2002, a healthy beautiful baby girl 2 days old from the hospital. We finally got to adopt her on Dec. 28, 2004. We also have a set of twins (boy/girl) that we have had for 11 months. They are now 16 months. The bf has surrendered and biomom is going to be tpred soon. We will adopt them as well. My husband and I (he had no children) spent 10 years trying to unsuccessfully have a baby together. After a miscarriage, 2 ectopics (lost a single baby and a set of fraternal twins) and a failed private adoption, we were finally led to foster/adoption. We were finally blessed with our three babies. I will be 38 in Sept and my dh will be 38 in Dec. We have been keeping company with younger freinds and adults lately as well. We went to a friend's house yesterday who I grew up with (age 12) and just recently reunited with 2 years ago, who is a cw with the same DCS office that we got our first placement and daughter through. We went swimming and after we ate, we went in the house. She kept apologizing because her house was not child proof. I had my hands full while I tried to keep three children out of all the cords, phone plug ins, etc while dh hung out outside with the friend's husband. My parents and family kept telling me while we were attempting to get pregnant, we just needed to leave it alone. We would have grandchildren soon enough. That infuriated me. I was NOT wanting grandchildren just then. My kids were just then getting out of high school and we were wanting to raise more children.My daughter is engaged and planning on marrying in Sept and theywant to start a family right away. SO it probably won't be long before we are grandparents and our children and grandchildren will only be a few years apart! LOL

[MamaTo6]

Hi...I am 43 and dh is 42. I have 5 grown bio's (27 25 23 22 20) and dh has none. We are gram and (step) papa to 5 wonderful grandchildren btwn the ages of 3-8. Our ason is 16 months. In reality our ason is our grandchildrens uncle, although they dont call him uncle. Confused yet? lol. For us foster/adopt has been a true blessing even though we had no intentions of adopting when we went into this. We thought we were too old, and we had grandchildren, so we had all the same concerns that you mentioned. Our baby son is our life and we couldnt imagine what we would do without him. Oh ya, now I remember...we used to sleep in on the week ends. Follow your hearts...you are not too old.

Warm wishes...Barbie

[akdad]

I am 51 and my wife is 43.We have 2 bio daughters and 2 adopted. Our 10 year old is the only one still at home .We also have 5 grandsons and a granddaughter two weeks old.Ten months ago we had 7 week and 3 year old sisters placed with us. We will be adopting the baby next month.The older one will take a little longer.
My girls have no problem with us adopting again.Last night our 3 year old came home from a two week trip to the village visiting her great grandmother.Our grown daughters and their family's had to come over and welcomed her. A month ago my 25 year old bio daughter and husband who have 2 sons had a newborn placed with in their home. In another week she will get his brother and sister.
Our life is never dull and there is no shortage of drama.

[mitzie1125]

My everyone seems young to me. We have been
foster parents for 17 years. We have 3 bio kids and have adopted one fd. She is 15 yrs old now. We have 7 grand kids. I have to say it has been rough sometimes, alot of yealousey on the bio kids and grand kids side. We would have adopted more but they were against it. We love kids and like having our house full. We are in our 60's now and it takes alot out of us but hope to do it until we can't anymore. Every time a child leaves they take a piece of our heart. I feel like we have done our best to help a child for a short period of time and they will be better for it. The bio kids will get over it and some day understand why this was our calling. I hope ? We will just enjoy the kids and our grand kids. We need foster parents no matter what age you are so keep it up kids. Lyn