[leaabc123]

Just wondering. Our 2 girls are full sisters but appear to be seperate TPR schedules. I don't want to ask the worker yet because we don't want to jump the gun at all regarding adoption.
The older girl is scheduled for another TPR hearing in november while her sister has not had a TPR hearing yet (she is younger).

Have you had siblings on seperate TPR tracks? If you adopted, did you wait and adopt them together? Our thinking was that (if it did happen), we would wait until they were both TPR'd so that they stay together.

In this situation, it is likely that, if one is TPR'd, then the other one will be also. Again, we were just wondering.

[L-A-J-C-R-C]

Hi Lea,

Actually ours was the opposite. We have children #6 and 7 of a sibling group of 7 that we're in the process of adopting. The TPR for the other 5 hasn't happened yet. The reason for this was that our kids were so young they either don't remember or never knew their bfamily. The workers felt it was more important to allow them to begin their lives with us because the other 5 had lived with their bmom and knew who they were and where they come from, our 2 didn't/don't.

It has been my experience that it could go either way with TPR. I really don't understand how a parent can be deemed inappropriate for 1 child but not another child but I have seen it happen. That's not the norm, however. The way it was explained to us is that a specific child could be the scapegoat for abuse. Well, IMHO, if that child's removed who's the next logical scapegoat??? The worker's couldn't answer that question.

Honestly, I'd adopt each as they came available. I don't know why except to say that I'd want to "be done" with the foster care side of things as soon as possible and give the child a sense of permanency.

Best of luck.

Michelle

[leaabc123]

Thanks, we aren't even close to anything yet. Just wondering how other people have handled this issue.

But you are right, the 13 month old has never lived with bps. But, they do get weekly visits. I guess we just wait and see. They are supposed to TPR her soon, due to her age and the fact that she has never lived with them. Whether it goes through or not, who knows?!

If/when it does come up, I will discuss this with the worker.

This process is very frustrating. These kids have already been in placement for 2 years and 1 year respectively, but their parents receive sooo many chances but still refuse to do their treatment plans. I do give them credit for making their visits at least but these kids definitely need permanency rather than confusion.

[BethanyB]

What I was told about this situation was this...the bio parents (by ASFA law) must be allowed the one year period to get her act together for EACH child. I know it's crazy but that is what they told me.

After my son was placed with me at two weeks old...I found out he had a 1 year old half sister in foster care as well. She just turned two a month ago. Her TPR date was set for May. They had thought that they could put the two kids on the same date but decided they could not because bio mom deserved the year time period to get her act together for my son. EVEN though she had not done so for the year and a half that her daughter was in care. AND was not following the plan.
Which I just do not get! So they didn't want to hold up his sisters chance at an adoptive home to wait for my son's trial so they were to have two seperate TPR dates.

THEN bio mom did some things that made DYFS aware that she had not been following the plan at all --all along. She messed up big time and then left town. The lawyers decided it wasn't fair to my son and put the two kids on the same case. The judge agreed and so now they are both scheduled for TPR in May on the same hearing.

So it ended up working out in the end. But their reasoning was that bio parents must be given the 1 year to 15 month time period for each kid. I think it's silly if the previous child has been in care for two years and bmom couldn't do the plan for her in those two years...why do they think she will be able to do it for the newborn? I don't know. The system can be wierd but they have to follow the law.

[TexasJingles]

Here's our case. We have 3 of 5 sibs. The 3 we have are on 2 different TPR's (all have TPR's, but the younger 2 are on appeal). The 2 that we don't have were voluntarily TPR'd when the were born due to positive drug tests at birth and were adopted as infants (they are now about 6 and 4 we think). Our oldest (10) was removed from bmom 1st (why him and not the others we don't know yet) and had a kinship placement that went horribly wrong (he thought the marks on his tummy were birthmarks...should have seen him shut down when the doc at intake physical told him they were scars!). He is finally 100% legally free. HOWEVER! CPS is waiting for the appeal to finish on the next 2 before releasing him for adoption. The plan is for us to adopt all 3, but we have to wait.

I think the reason they are waiting is so that we (or anyone else) can't adopt the oldest and then turn around and say we don't want the other 2. We went into this wanting sibs so they could stay together (which is what we did because these 3 hadn't been together in years and after 6 months, they're just about getting used to each other again).

Another reason might be so that there is only 1 legal fee for the adoption? Don't know... just taking it one day at a time.

[Kate1129]

I'll try not to get on my soapbox here cause it's preaching to the choir, y'all know what we live through!!!

The Law is for the bparents. Nowhere does it say "We'll do what's best for the child no matter what". It reads more like "We'll do everything for the bparent and let the foster family pick up the pieces."

They will give the most abusive parent all the time in the world to "have a chance to hurt their kid again". They however will not give the child everychance in the world to be safe.

If the world was just and fair and about the kids, if a bparent lost one child, every other child she/he has would be taken too. But that's not how it happens.

Ok, I'm off the box now. The other ladies said it all so well, I can't really add anything more.

[mommyto9]

Same with us....our fs's TPR hearing is scheduled for next Thurs. Of course I'm sure the parents will deny it. They haven't worked their caseplan at all for the last 15 months, and both are currently serving time. We have fs's 6 week baby brother, and even if "R" is Tpr'd, we have to wait at least 6 months to see if the parents try to work the case plan for "baby" or not! I agree, I think it's ridiculous! If they can't do what needs to be done for one child, why should they get another??? What's even more frustrating is the 6 months only counts from disposition not detention! "Baby" will be 2 months old by then! Now bio. g-ma tells me they are trying to find someone in the family to adopt both boys, they think they should be kept "in the family." Well, maybe they should have thought of that in the beginning! I think they're just trying to delay things. We already have CPS's blessing to adopt! Is waiting the hardest????????

I'll be in pray for everyone, please remember us in your prayers.

[rindava]

just because at least that case would be settled and that child couldn't be taken away from you...

In Virginia even 6 months after the finalization of adoption it can be contested by a relative (or at least that was the law last time I looked) each state has their own laws about that and things are much better then before about when a b-parent can get the kids back.....Right now by federal law b-parents are only supposed to get 14 months to get it together or TPR is supposed to be ordered...this isn't happening in most areas of the country....

I had 3 of this lady's 9 kids, she had been TPR's on her oldest 4 and said she placed the 2 younger for adoption (she used crack though) and she said she never wanted the kids back, over and over again...they were with me for the 14 months (4th time in foster care for the 6 year old) and were returned anyway (all drug test on her came back positive for cocain) because her time was up and she just wasn't that bad according the the SW.....and was pregnaunt with her 10th when they returned the kids...

My girls and son had b-parents (they are from 2 different b-families) who had had children removed from their care before they ever had them....the still got to parent for 6 and 7 years...

there are cases where they will not wait the year, like in severe sex abuse or death of a child, etc....