[leenab]

Our little girl T has been displaying some unusual behaviors. I'm wonderng if it's pointing to sexual abuse. As far as we know she wasn't sexually abused, but you never know. She is 23 months old.

Tries to kiss with her mouth open

Lifts up my shirt & pulls it down at the neck

pinches & bites my boobs through a shirt

puts her hand in her diaper a lot

fecal smearing & eating

at bath time is constantly playing with herself

has pulled Dh's pants down

bites the crotches and bumbs of her dolls

I'm wondering if I'm just reading into things, or if something happened to her. I haven't told the cwer yet. But I guess we should soon. These behaviors have just become really apparent in the last week.

We're been redirecting her anytime she does any of these things and not making a big deal out of it. Well, with the exception of the fecal smearing & eating. DH screamed as did Om & Raj. It was really gross.

Thanks,
LeenaB

[BrandyHagz]

My first thought, maybe she has been exposed to sexual behavior…but not necessarily abused…but I could be wrong.

It sounds to me like she is acting out behavior that she has witnessed…maybe she slept in the same room as mom/dad and/or their sexual partner?

[harris4kids]

I think that it would be wise to document everything you observe. It is not normal for a child this age to be ually reactive in the way you have described.

[NDLD]

Any sexual behavior performed in front of a child old enough to imitate it so agressively would constitute abuse, and would warrant investigation, if she has been seen by a doctor, and physically there are no signs, I would have her assessed by a professional to investigate it further, it sounds as if you already suspect.

[LadyBugz]

There is a "wing" of our local children's hospital that specializes in exactly what you are facing. They sometimes send parents home saying the child is showing normal exploration for age, sometimes discover that a little one saw a videotape in the parent's collection that she is imitating, sometimes that they suspect more....

But my point is that they are specifically trained for these actions AND this age. You might look into this type of a doctor visit instead of just a normal pedi visit.

[Noel_71]

I was just wondering if you know a lot about the bio-parents? Was the child breast fed? Was there a younger sibling in the house or maybe he was taken care of by someone that breast fed?

The reason I ask is because... my 2 yr old is NOT wanting to wean at all... he sometimes pulls my shirt up (10x a day) kisses my breasts, touches them and so on...

Also, he is completely facinated with his penis when he is in the bath or whenever his diaper comes off, he has to investigate this thing that is always covered up. (totally normal to do so)

As is fecal investigating... for some reason babies learn that there is something in their diaper and they want to find out what is going on down there. ALL of my children have done it, it is usually around age 2, and that is when I start putting them to bed with their zippy up jammies worn backwards... it doesn't last that long and if you don't make a huge big deal out of it, then it stops a lot quicker, it is TOTALLY gross though, but something I have seen a lot of babies do... and I know for certain None of my children or my neice was abused...

I know it would be a bigger concern with foster children considering you DON'T know what has happened in their lives and you don't want to miss the signs. I just wanted to let you know that all of my children have done those things and they Aren't abused... Just to give you a little piece of mind, that it could very well be just normal behavior that we (as adults) find odd.... and after five children of my own I have seen a lot of odd behavior *haha*

But if you feel like it is way beyond the spectrum of normal, then you should take the child to see someone that specializes in the field...

Take care,
Noel

[Kate1129]

If this were me, I wouldn't worry about the behaviors. I would still let the SW know it's happening, but I wouldn't put much thought into it. They are pretty normal. Kids are curious about their bodies!

Most of it is normal. The rest sounds like she has seen "things" she shouldn't have for her age.

[qs mom]

My son is an International adoptee. He lived in an orphanage for 2 years. He came home at almost 3 and is now 4 1/2. He has done almost all of what you mention, with the exeption of biting dolls.

I remember being at the U.S. Embassy waiting for my son's Visa interview, when I turned to look at him, and he hand was covered in poop and he had his fingers in his mouth licking and eating. I was sick, and then saddened to think that this was probably something normal for him due to neglect.

He still snuggles my breasts. Sometimes he just pats them. If I'm holding him, he will occassionally put his handle down my shirt and just rub the top of my breast. He shoves his hand up my shirt sometimes too. He has pulled out the bottom of my shirt and tried to put his head up my shirt, but it's usually to hide when he's being shy.

The biting of the crotch and breasts of the doll would concern me a great deal. The other things seem kind of everyday kind of stuff that is fairly age appropriate.

[leenab]

Thanks guys,
Both of my sons went through the normal exploration stage with their own bodies at bath time. One of my sons would play with himself and fall asleep. Our pediatrican said it was just comforting for him and not to worry.

The way T acts with her dolls is probably the most concerning part of it all. I'm not sure if she was breat fed or not. She's been out of her bioparents home for over a year and just with us for almost a month. So she could have been exposed to things in her former placement, former daycare or even with bioparents.

This even she say DH give me a kiss on the cheek. Just a pec for ironing his dress shirts. Well, she went over and hit him and then screamed for me to pick her up. She was very jealous. I guess she's never really seen him kiss me. And since she has her own room she doesn't see me give the boys bedtime hugs and kisses. So maybe in her mind I should only give her hugs & kisses goodnight. Hard to say since she's not saying a whole lot of words just yet.

I've been keeping a log. I'm thinking it's just that she may have seen some things and hopefully nto had them done to her. She usually laughs and thinks it's funny. With the exception of kissing. She gets really mad.

Thanks,
LeenaB