[leenab]

Well, our honeymoon with princess T is officially over. Today was a crazy day she was picked up, dropped off, and picked up again for parenting classes with biomom before she even went.

Well she came home in a drenched little swimmer with a chapped butt. So I changed her and put lotion on it. Anyway the phone rings it's cwer with strange news about parenting classes. I hang up and 10 minutes later T is scratching her butt. Oh well, she does it all the time. So I went into the kitchen left T with DH & Om & Raj in the living room. DH was reading a book on the couch. No big deal until after about 15 minutes of doing dishes and checking on the laundry I go into the livingroom. And what do I see but T throwing something and eating something. Then I look down on the floor and see the poop smeared into the carpet, all over her mouth and clothes as well.

So I clean her up, essentially wet wipes followed by a bath. Then get her dressed into pajamas. I put her in her crib until I can clean up the carpet with a spot scrubber. Well then I go to get her out of the crib after 15 minutes to find her diaper off again.

Honeymoon is officially OVER!

I think they may be trying to potty train her at parenting classes. But obviously she's not ready or something happened today. At our house we use the no pressure approach, a child wears training pants and we just use the potty every hour. And if something comes out that's great, lots of praise, and if nothing comes out we still praise.

Should I call the parenting classes and let them know? Call the cwer? What?

We went through this with Om when he first arrived (adjustment & atttachment issues). With Om our solution was duct taping his diaper closed and tight enough that he couldn't reach in and get the poo. But then again Om wasn't in parenting classes with his parents as TPR had already occured.

We suspect T has some attachment issues, but we really have so little time with her each week to even work on these issues. We see her awake for about 3 hours monday-thursday, most of the time is eating & bathing.

Any suggestions? Should I send a note tommorrow with information on fecal smearing?

Thanks,
LeenaB

[Kate1129]

I'd call CWer. If it's not attachment issues, could it be her way of "protesting" the fact that she has to go to these parenting classes?

I am sorry! It's so hard when the honeymoon ends.

[leaabc123]

Wow, I haven't had to deal with that pleasant issue yet (knock on wood).
I would send a note, as well as leave a message (if you can not get them directly) for the caseworker. That is a tough schedule for a little girl!

Has she been examined for signs of sexual abuse at all? That might be something to check into.

Good Luck!

[momofmykids]

Oh Leena,
What a rough day for you. "Poop art" is not fun! I think this situation with the parenting classes is riduculous! How do they expect this child to bond with anybody? I would certainly contact the cw and be sure to document it for your records. I think they may be doing her more harm than good.

God bless,
Jill

[lucmarmic]

Originally Posted by momofmykids

Oh Leena,
What a rough day for you. "Poop art" is not fun! I think this situation with the parenting classes is riduculous! How do they expect this child to bond with anybody? I would certainly contact the cw and be sure to document it for your records. I think they may be doing her more harm than good.

God bless,
Jill

Leena...
In my situation I called the social worker first thing. I really..truly ..deeply believe in documentation. I wanted it to show that I needed to get help for "Z", Keep on the SW about the parenting classes. This is truly not healthy for your girl as I am sure you realize. I just can't understand why the sw doesn't understand this...are they working on reunification?

I keep my spot/stain remover close, so I know the feeling. We are going on 4 days since the last "art" project

Luci

[L-A-J-C-R-C]

Hi Leena,

You can use footie pj's at night and put them on backwards. She won't be able to undo the zipper. I had to resort to that after our dd figured out how to get the duct tape off (and she was taped all the way around her diaper at the time). I cut the feet off of them. With the weather getting warmer you can look for those one piece outfits (you see them at the beach a lot) and do the same thing. I have also sewed the tops and bottoms of pj's together in the front and pretty much stuffed her into the pj's until she figured out how to rip out the stitches.

I'm sorry you're going through this with her. I agree that her schedule sounds crazy and it must be very hard on her to constantly have to leave her mom then you, etc. This is not a fun part of foster parenting. Hang in there.

Michelle

[leenab]

The most frustrating part is that they're no longer working on reunification. And biomom isn't even regular with the parenting classes. But none the less the parenting classes do occur.

T's cwer doesn't ahve voice mail, so yesterday when I tried to call had no one there. I know the fecal smearing is something that's resulting from the parenting classes as she was fine before she started going to them. And yesterday when she returned she was a little monster. Plus she's gone all day and there's not nap time at parenting classes. Isn't that insane that a 23 month old doesn't get to nap all day. She's just so over tired by the time she gets back. And every overtired child I've known is monsterous, even my 2 sons.

I'm going to have to ask about the sexual abuse, as T is always trying to play with her private parts and when she hugs me tries to bite my boobs (not very pleasant). There was definately domestic violence as she can get very angry and YELL a lot. For example, one day Om was in time-out. Well she went up to him, yelled at him and then hit him. Well, Om being the boy he is just broke down in tears (we don't spank here so he was really shocked that someone spanked him). His feeling were so hurt and then I had to figure out what to do about it. So I decided T had to spend 2 minutes in her crib. She didn't even mind it. But I had to remove her from the situation.