[NatalieN]

Monday my husband and I will be getting our first placement a fost/adopt AA 10 day old male. We are truly excited and NERVOUS. Having a problem my mother has made it very clear that she is not happy that he's AA. I am really upset about this. I thought of all the people my parents would be happy. My family and I are very close not sure what to do

[L-A-J-C-R-C]

Hi Natalie,

Congratulations on your first placement. I'm sorry you are not getting the support you need and deserve. I don't have experience with parenting children of a different race so I'm not in a position to offer advice.

I just wanted to say that if you and your dh want this baby, don't let anyone stop you. You do need to keep in mind that accepting the placement may cause a huge rift in your relationship with your mom.

Best of luck.

Michelle

[tlc4kidz]

We had specified caucasian placements only when we were first licensed because of the prejudice in our family. We did not want to ever put a child in an unfair situation and while we were none too happy with our families attitudes and had tried our darndest to change them, we knew the only person you can really change is yourself. We did end up take several AA short-term placements and had one fd for several months while my dad was hositalized. I took her with me almost daily to visit with my dad and I was amazed at the love my parents showed for her. They held her and kissed her and they even said they would 100% support us if we chose to adopt. We did not....not because of her race, but because at that time we were not planning on adopting at all. It sounds like you are going forward. Be prepared for anything, but know that the beauty of a child can work miracles in even the hardest of hearts!

[NatalieN]

I hope what you say is true and a miracle will happen. Either way it will not change our minds about taking in this baby. Wish me luck currently we have no children so this will be our first for everything. I took us 30 minutes to pick out bottles at the store today.

[jen1mac]

That is great! Nothing is as amazing as seeing your baby for the first time and holding them close. We have a fd who we got when she was 2 weeks old. She is now 10 months old and it is looking like we will get to adopt her. She is biracial and I just took her to visit my family in the south. I was nervous but her cute little cheeks and bright brown eyes warmed their hearts. I will pray that things go smoothly.

[tlc4kidz]

Originally Posted by NatalieN

I took us 30 minutes to pick out bottles at the store today.

That is too cute! If I can make a suggestion....tomorrow take a long nap or a soak in the tub if you like. Maybe take in a movie and dinner out. Just pamper yourself! It's going to be all about the baby for a while, as well it should be. So enjoy your last day as a twosome and get lots of sleep !

[NatalieN]

Thanks for all the well wishes.

Natalie

[yanknrebel]

My husband and I were in the same situation. We originally got in to fosercare to adopt a child privately that we had been contacted about. The biomom had lost 4 other children and was still using crack. She was in jail once again and she knew she could not keep the baby. (They always think clearer when they are in jail). Amyway, we were all set. Everything paid, the fees, the lawyer had been paying her living expenses for 6 months (Ok I was too stupid to NOT know that she was not having to pay rent in the halfway house she was in). MAke a long story short, 2 weeks before the baby was born the biomom chose to keep her baby (only to lose him to DCS in LA) 2 weeks after his birth. We did not know the race of this baby, but was told it could be part AA, part hispanic or all caucasian. The child ended up being part AA. My father and 2 of my uncles were not happy with u s wanting to bring this child into the family .(We got into foster care so that we could get him placed with us) I finally told my father what I thought of his prejudice . I basically told him that the child was going to be in our family, be our child and he could either accept it and accept him as our child orwe could just stay away all together as well as our other children.

He now accepts the idea just fine. We did not get that baby. He was placed with an AA foster family in LA (the biomom got visitation so the child had to stay in state.

Just do what your heart tells you. If the family loves you, they will love the child too. However you will be in for some rocky times ahead.

MAry