[roomformore]

What does everyone do with the stuff the parents send for your foster kids? Last week he sent some ripped/slightly dirty teddy bears and books and I went ahead and put the stuff in their rooms but then my whole upstairs smelled horrible of cigarette smoke. It still smells in their room like stale cigarette smoke. I just cant stand that smell. So yesterday he sends more stuffed animals and toys and two of the dirtests/rattiest/balled up looking blankets I have ever seen. I mean I am not super picky but these are just gross. They must have realized at the agency how gross they looked because they told me twice "they are clean". Nevermind that they look absolutely awful-I mean I shop Goodwill and Salvation army for fun and have never even seen anything like them there. They smell horrible of cigarette smoke and I just dont want to bring anything that awful looking in my house. I feel guilt though because he said the 6 year old calls it her "sucky" blanket. She has been fine for a month and a half without it and has not been asking for it. Wouldnt it be nice if they sent something they could actually use like clothes! What does everyone else do with the stuff the parents send?

[roomformore]

I don't want to offend any smokers with my above post. I would just launder the blankets to remove the smoke if they did not look so disgusting. I mean they are more than just a little balled up. They look like they have been thru a war and lost. They should have been thrown out like two years ago.

[mckenna]

i have only had babies but they have come with some pretty smelly stuff. everything goes in the washer, stuffed animals can be washed in pillow cases. what still fits, i used what did not i boxed up to return with the child. i am very sensitive to cig. smoke, so i just could not stand it. if it could not be washed i left it outside to air out. good luck

[mckenna]

we were posting at the same time. if the blankets are that bad but the kid still loves them, try trimming them to a smaller size or creating a blanket with scraps from the old ones.

[saxxxy]

My foster daughter never saw some of the stuff her parents sent for her at the time they brought it so I packed it all up in a box and put it in the garage. I never took the stuff out of the box, I just gave the box to her family when she left us. She was thrilled with the blankets and animals and whatnot that we had given her and did not seem to have any issues by not having her familiar things. Of course she had been with us for six months before her parents sent anything at all for her from home so by then the things may have just upset her.

[roomformore]

That is kind of my thought on this too. They have been been without the blankets for a month and a half without any problems. If they were just not so nasty I would not have a problem with laundering them and letting me have them. Even my 9 year old daughter thought they were gross. You would think these parents would be embarrassed about bringing things like this for their kids.

[roomformore]

What do I do if the parents ask if they are using their blankets and stuffed toys? It would be just like them to ask.................I cant launder the stuffed animals because they are electronic.

[dl]

I cant launder the stuffed animals because they are electronic.

Try putting the stuffed animals in a large plastic bag with a couple Downey or Bounce scented dryer sheets. Place in the sun and the heat will activate the scent and should absorb the cigarette smell. If you live where the sun is not shinning this time of year put the stuffed animals in a pillowcase with the dryer sheets and run in the dryer on low heat.

[HappyMomAnna]

I have not even read this post or any of the answers above mine.

Put them in a box and keep them for the child....what is ratty to you is a treasure to the child especially if the child is never retured to his/her family.....

[Cleopatrick]

Can't offer a solution, but I can surely sympathize! We once had the family send six bags of stuff that all smelled like cat pee. I wouldn't even let the stuff in the door! I told the social worker that I have (at the time) five cats and if I bring that in here I'm going to have a feline mutiny on my hands. All five of my cats would have freaked out thinking an intruder was trying to take over and I wouldv'e had cats peeing everywhere trying to scare him away. I sent it all back with the social worker and she gave it back to the family. The only other time this came up was some rank stuff we got in a bag for our 5 year old (back when she was 1). It all smelled like smoke and it was FILTHY! I put in the garage, and two years later when the adoption was final I threw it out. I'll probably get backlash from people for that, but it my book keepsakes from your childhood are NOT filthy, nasty, smelly things. We had enough useable keepsakes from this same family that I didn't want to add those to it. Good luck!

[BeckyTeehee]

I boxed mine up and stuck them in the garage!
I had to buy new stuff. But don't throw anything away, you knew know what might happen and they'll complain if something they sent is not with them.
Gosh, his stuff stunk to high heaven!

[Sleeplvr]

What do you do when the child comes back reeking of cigarette smoke? We have a 3 month old and she comes back stinking of cigarette smoke. Babies are supposed to smell like babies or baby powder not cigarette smoke. We have a non-smoking home and are very sensitive to smoke. Do you say anything to the caseworker about asking the parents to refrain from smoking before a visit? I know they can't smoke during the visit. When we get her back everything smells... even her carseat. We don't want to cause trouble, but it can't be healthy exposing a baby to all the smoke residue.

[HappyMomAnna]

As offensive as the smell of smoke is (trust me I don't like it either) I must say that the 'smells' of memoreies do carry great meaning....

My grandfather died when I was 12 and 30 years later when I open the special box that held the few things I did get to remember him with....It is the smell of his Danish Ribbion Pipe Tobacco that floods my heart with love again.....

Just one thought not to say that these smelly things should become a treasured memory--but smell triggers emotions....especially for children who have had great trauma.... I have a high sense of smell--and find it hard to be in the same building as a Dentist office---My husband has to take the kids to the dentist due to the Abuse I suffered that resulted in many years of dental work and repairs.... I shake and CRY when I smell the smell.....
My oldest son has a distinct odor to me--not sure yet if it is a good one or not---and some Kitties smell like perfume to me....and no one else seems to notice except me....

So in the even the foster child should be placed for an adoption....that child might actually have comfort or feel better when something WE find smelly is saved and later found..... Even the fact that this might trigger a negative memory is Theraputic in some cases....

[roomformore]

Yeah, I totally understand smell "memory" too. I associate most things strongly by smell too. I of course will save this stuff for the kids I simply dont want it stinking up my house any longer. Some of the stuff has been here over a week and it still smells bad in their bedroom. I am just going to box in up and store it in the garage. I have always hated the smell of cigarette smoke. Any my favorite Grandpa was a smoker! They didnt miss the stuff when it was not here anyway.

[Peggy]

Have you tried repeated washings, and there are additives to use with wash to elimnate smells. Also try dousing with Febreeze (or like project) and wash.