[KelleyF]

Just wondering if anyone had to use respite care for their fc and how did they do? My dh and I are going on vacation next week and the bio aunt was SUPPOSED to take the boys but she's had a change in heart. The SW is now looking for a respite home for them for the week. I'm so nervous about the whole thing.

[nursie]

There are many variables as to the use of respite care like why the child is in care, how long they have been with you, how long you will be gone, if they have met the respite providers before and so on. However, we have used respite a few times and have provided respite a few times and we have found out that kids usually do just great.

If you know another foster family who would do it for you if that makes you feel better to know the family then see if that works out. That is what I did. Our fs had a blast with them and they spoiled him rotten over that weekend.

Now go on that vacation with no guilt and have a great time. There are LOTS of loving families willing to do respite and provide love and attention for your fc while you are getting some R & R .

[susanlowman]

We have never used Respite care, but we have provided Respite Care. I agree with Nursie, try to find a foster family you know that would be willing to do the Respite. In our situation, we did not know the girl and we still had a nice weekend.

Good luck and have fun!

[Lisa3NY]

KellyF
I have never used respite care. I had my parents watch our kids for a weekend once. It would be nice if counties had some sort of system where people in similar towns could get to know one another and help eachother out.... plus you wouldn't feel so odd about having a stranger watching your kids.

Our county is working on a support group and hopefully it will go in that direction.

Do you have any family members that could watch them?

[marsha4]

We've used respite twice, both times we've had a good experience. The first time we used it for a weekend away for my husband and I, and we arranged it with another couple we met through our foster parent training class. We had known them for about a year, been to their house before with the kids, and to dinner with them several times. We told the girls they were going to get to go to a two day sleepover, and they would get to play with the kids this couple had. We treated it as a fun time for the kids, and they were excited and had a good time the whole weekend, with no problems. The next time we used respite was for a four day work related conference, my husband went with me so we could spend some time alone together in the evenings. We found a foster couple who was in our neighborhood so the transportation to and from school would be easier. I'd talked to the couple before at a few foster parent association meetings, and knew them a little, and I also checked with my foster developer and theirs to see if they were ok, and I knew their next door neighbor . We introduced the girls to them a few days before we left them, and also went on a practice run with the girls, getting off the bus at a different stop, etc. They had a wonderful time there, and every time we called, they were having a blast with the foster parents and the little foster children who were in their home. Since then, we've used this couple for after school care on days when we won't be getting off work soon enough to meet the bus. It's worked out wonderfully for everyone.
Respite is not something to feel guilty about. Parents need to recharge their batteries and get a break, and the kids do too. I've honestly missed the kids while I've put them in respite, and they have missed us, so we come back feeling more bonded. You would not believe the hugs and kisses you get when you return from a trip. It's good for everyone to take a break every now and then.

[Withay]

I'm a single, work-at-home foster mom to 2 adorable babies - girl 8mo and boy 2mo. Sunday I had to put them both in emergency respite because I ended up in the ER with a dx of bronchitis. I really hated doing it but just couldn't take care of myself and give them all they need and deserve. I also could not bear the thought of passing this on to them.

I'm so glad to hear of others positive experiences with respite care. I can hardly wait to get these two little ones back (hopefully by this weekend).

I have provided respite for others (x3).

L