[SashaSue]

Calling all experts...I just got a placement of a 2-year-old who was staying with another relative not his parents (who are apparently using drugs)... he is a nice little boy and minds pretty well (for a 2 year old) but he seems not too afraid of other people, doesn't run to them or anything but didn't get upset when the social worker took him from the place he was in...is this just because he has probably been passed around a lot or maybe a more serious attachment issue?

I don't want to jump the gun and he will be evaluated by ECI soon but was just curious if anyone else has had a child like that before, I hope this doesn't mean that he will have a hard time attaching...but would like to hear any comments/advice... He seems very smart, talks, makes eye contact, seems like a typical child...

[L-A-J-C-R-C]

Hi Sasha,

I have had kids placed with me that were the same way. They were just use to being with other people that it didn't phase them. They attached with us just fine too. I'd give it some time and let them do the evaluation. Once he starts feeling a connection you'll see signs of RAD if he has that problem.

Best of luck and enjoy having him with you.

Michelle

[SashaSue]

Michelle,

Thanks for the information! I'm glad to know that someone else has had kids like this. I'll be talking to his worker soon to see when he will be evaluated.

I just don't understand how people can put themselves ahead of their children. I guess drugs are just too powerful for some people to handle and overcome.

Thanks again for the info/advice.

SashaSue

[dadfor2]

sashasue

yes, its a sign of attachment issues, but it also doesnt mean that it is attachement issues....how thats for helping....lol

most kids in the system have attachment issues. So its not unusual and you shouldnt be surprised by it.

but it doesnt mean the child has RAD.

"i dont want to jump the gun"..my suggestion is dont.

wait a while and see what happens....as the old saying goes 'more will be revealed'

but please expect some attachment issues...this is very common for kids in the sytem and especailly from neglected or abusive families.

only time will tell, read some books on attachement parenting and start to do those techniques with him. I would start those ASAP.

good luck...keep us informed on whats going on

[dadfor2]

oh, one more thing...if this child has been recently placed, any evals might not be accurate.

he jsut endured another movement....though it may seem it doesnt effect him...it does...so take any current evals with a grain of salt due to there is alot going on with him right now...

but again, thats if he has just been placed with you.

[SashaSue]

dadfor2,

Thanks for the information! I know it's still early but I was just curious about his behavior. I have a 2 year old nephew who would have a fit if someone tried to take him from his home. He definitely wouldn't willing go with anyone.

I'll just have to wait and see. As far as I know this is his first time in foster care. He was just removed last week.

I'll keep everyone informed.

Thanks so much,
SashaSue

[dadfor2]

sashasue

you mentioned he lived with relaitves, has he been with them his whole life, or was he with his birth mom first?

kids that dont get the 'love' time early on in their life, could develope an attachment disorder. doesnt really matter how many placements, though that doesnt help, its what the child got in his early years of life.

neglect or abusive backgrounds, can cause attachement issues. it has do with something with their brain not getting certain stimuli..soemthing like that,....not to quick with the medical jargon...

but, yea, just keep an eye out and see what happens...

good luck...the poor little guy, but hes safe now.

dadfor2

[SashaSue]

dadfor2,

He apparently was with his birth mother and father for awhile but I believe recently he was living with another relative.

He seems like a pretty happy child, of course, he's 2 and certainly acts like a 2 year old sometimes but most of the time he just smiles and minds what he's told. I'm not sure of his whole family situation, just know they have some problems right now. His mother has had other kids taken away by the State and have been adopted out.

I know he really enjoys playing with my 2 nephews who are 4 and 2. He acts like they do, actually copycats everything they do, but that's normal...

I guess only time will tell...

[mommyto9]

We got a call almost one year ago for a little guy that was 2 1/2. He was the same way, went right with the cw, came right to us not afraid or anything. The first couple months he held up his arms to anyone. The gas man came to our house and fs held his arms up yo him. Now almost 12 months later, he's just like any other 3 yr old. He's bonded very well, now only runs to dh after sunday school etc. I haven't seen him just want to be held by just anyone in quite awhile. Just needed a family to bond to I guess. I'm glad we got to be the family!!!

In other words...I wouldn't worry yet!

Take Care,

Mommyto9

[SashaSue]

Mommyto9,

Thanks for the reassurance. I guess I've read too many "horror" stories about attachment issues and my first thoughts went to that. I've only had babies before this little guy so I wasn't quite sure what to expect. I just figured he would want his mommy and not really go with anyone else.

Congratulations on getting to keep your little one!

SashaSue

[KelleyF]

I also have a little guy in the same situation. He would pretty much go to anyone. He just turned 3. He actually asked the mailman if he was his daddy.
He has been with us for about 3 months now and he's just starting to show signs of attachment to our family.
If he fell, he would let anyone comfort him. Now he wants either me or my husband. Another thing was that he never would make eye contact. I had to keep telling him to look at me. He's getting better with that too.
If anyone has any suggestions, I'd love to hear them.

Good luck, he sounds precious!