[nursie]

We have a 3 yo and a 3 month old who we hope to adopt. The 3 yo old has been with us for 15 month (possible termination on mom is in Appeal's court and unknown bdad)and his 3 month old half sib has been with us since birth. There is an alleged bfather coming forward for paternity testing on the 3 month old. He has expressed that his mom i.e. the possible biogma is interested in adopting the baby.
Has anyone had this experience, we are just wondering if the bgma will be favored or if we as a pre-adoptive family who has raised her since birth and has her half sib who we are planning to adopt will be in better position to win the courts? I know birthfamily is important but we are very bonded/attached to this child as she is to us. We are the only family she has ever known.
Any advice or comments welcome.
Thanks.

[L-A-J-C-R-C]

Hi Nursie,

It is my belief that the grandparents would be given the baby if their son is his father.

I'll pray that things work out the way God intends them to.

Michelle

[msheartofgold]

Hey guys
You know in some cases it just hard to say if gp's may get the child just because they are the gp's.

Now in our case the paternal gm came forward wanted our fd after she's been in care for 7months "go figure" we had a FSP meeting and i ask her why the sudden interest, I just wanted to know what kind of lie she was going to make up "oh i just found out i had a grand child " Not the truth at all.

When our fd was 3week old ( had her since she was 2days old) we had a vist with bmom and bdad for the first time dad seem to be so happy to have had his first child, was even at the birth now why in the world would he have not told his mom she was going to be a gm. Well back to the story dad was arrested a week after his first visit for domistic abuse aganist the bmom was in jail for 6 1/2 months. With that being said there is an order of protection (two years at the least) for our fd because he made death and abuse threats. There is also one for bmom because he tried to choke her to death.

Now what we were told at the FSP meeting that child could not live with dad because for his mental issues, drug abuse, a self mutilator,being a pedophile and a host of other things. Now the catch is our fd's dad lives with his mother not a good situitation for the child the gm works a fulltime job which means the child must be home all day with her dad.
A homestudy was conducted on gm and she failed, don't know why. It is also down on record that my fd's dad and siblings were in foster care for most of their lives, so i don't know if this make a difference.
The bmom time and time again has stated that she does not want her child with him or his family, mind you the still see each other despite the order, she just say they are not the kind of people to raise children.

We still don't know the out come of our fd's future but we pray it's with our family.
"Sorry to Vent"

Nursie as for you and your family just stay strong you never know what my happen they still have to prove gm is fit also.
Good Luck

[nursie]

Thanks for your replies.
I spoke to the SW yesterday and she informed me that the bf is back in the state and has called her with an interest to take Paternity tests, etc. She told me that he got money from a Community Action Program to get back to MN and does not have a job and is living with his mom.
The plan is to test him and then go from there. The SW did state she talked to an Adoption SW who said that it is VERY difficult to split sibs and unless the dad and/or gma is willing to take our 3yo fs also(not the same father) that they would not support splitting the sibs. She also said the SS dept. does not have a plan to move either child out of our home anytime soon.
She said they have to consider relatives for adoption placement but are still able to do what is in the BEST interest of the child which may be the foster parents to adopt. Interesting.
I also spoke with the bmom and she said she does not want her kids going to them and that if they terminate her rights she wants them to stay with us. She said she used to do drugs with both the alleged bdad and the gma. Wow, I hope that SS's doesn't approve them to take these kids with a drug history of both the potential dad and gma who wants to adopt.!!! Having the bmom be opposed to the kids going to the bdad or gma may help in the Courtroom to keep them out of that home.
Just waiting impatiently to see what happens next.
Praying fervently for safety for these children's future.
Oh, yea, the bdad's sister had her children taken away also due to drug use and the gma never adopted them !?

[BeckyTeehee]

Just to let you know, I'm praying you get to adopt them both! I know that I'm in a similar situation cause BF wants a P test to see if our FS is REALLY his. We have to have that done and it's REAL nerve racking! I never even thought about HIS Mom stepping up and wanting custody! Oh geesh!!!!

Trust that God will place them with the best family for them! Hard, and I remind myself daily but it's all I have too. You SO have my prayers!!!!!!

Keep us updated!