[pugsooie]

Hi everyone. I have a very sad story.
My good friend has a sister who's husband was very abusive. Her sister had been living in the local battered woman's shelter for a few months. Yesterday she they got a call that her (abusive) husband was trying to pick up their children when he wasn't supposed to be within 100 yards of their school. So my friend, her sister and my friends 2 yr old daughter bolted down to the school to try and stop him from getting the kids. The cops were called and shown the paperwork that her husband wasn't supposed to be within 100 yards. The cop gave him a warning. As the cop was walking off her husband said that he was going to kill her (my friends sister). The cop said "I SHOULD arrest you for saying that", but didn't. My friend asked the cop if he would follow her to the women's shelter to drop off her sister and the cop obliged. 3 blocks from the women's shelter the cop turned off and drove away. About that time her husband came flying at their car and hit them head on. REMEMBER: MY FRIEND, AND HER 2 YR OLD DAUGHTER WERE IN THE CAR ALSO. He got out of the car, went to the passengers side and grabbed out his wife and stabbed her about 46 times in the middle of a busy intersection. My friend grabbed her baby and ran trying to get help and was not quickly accomidated. By the time anyone arrived her sister was dead.

Her sister left 6 children mother and fatherless. They were all taken into foster care. My friend told me that she is trying to get the kids, but has to have beds for all of them. I have offered to take one of them as I am an approved foster home. The problem is she doesn't have any beds. She is going to have to find some way to get adequate bedding in the midst of planning a funeral (my friends mother is dead as well and it will just be her and her father so most of the work is falling to her). Not only that but the car, which my friend told me still has 'pieces' of her sister in the passengers seat, is still sitting in her front yard and the local towing company charged her $109 to get it there. My question is, what can I do for her? I don't know. I am thinking about calling a local tv station and finding a way to get some donated beds or something, but I'm not sure if that will be possible.

This is mostly just a sad story, but advise would be greatly appreciated....

[HappyMomAnna]

Oh my gosh I am soooo sorry to hear this news... My prayers are with you--your friend and all the children.....

Call the police department and ask them to get the BEDS for your friend and the sister of the victim.... If they will not help call the news channels and ask them to run a PSA and have the community step forward...

Actually I would call the media I am sure they already have the info and possibly have run a story--Ask someone to set up a bank account so that the community can contribute.

Domestic Violence is Deadly and the police were neglient in this case. She should have been taken to the shelter in his Squad car and your friend and daughter should have been told to go home and stay out of things from there on... When all of important things are dealt with I would have your friend file a complaint with the Police for endangering her and her 2 year olds life by haveing them do the work the police should have done....

[lucyjoy]

What happened to the beds the children had at their mothers? Can they use those? It might be comforting for them to have something familiar.

Also churches are good places to ask as many people have beds in their homes they don't use. Likely she can find someone willing to help her figure out what to do with the car. I'm suprised DFS won't help her with this under the circumstances. Those kids have lost so much already.

[cathy102]

I would also call the Media.. I just wanted to say how sorry I am.. I will be praying for those kids.. Did they ever arrest her Husband?

Prayers going their way...

Cathy

[Luv]

I am so sorry for your loss, definetly get the community and media involved you will be overwhelmingly suprised at the heartfelt support of others.

My brothers wife killed herself a couple of years ago and left behind 4 babies ages 5months , 1.5, 3 and 5 he was unemployed so was she and he went out to the community and asked for help and his highschool football coaches, elementry school friend, local churches, former employee's (of course family) etc. gave him so much support that he was able to pay her complete funeral cost in cash as well as people helped him buy clothes and food for the kids the support was unbelievable. I even went in a store and the owner asked are you **'s sister I said yes and he said tell him we are sorry for his loss and gave me $100 out of the register to give to my brother ( unreal) I said all that to say the community will come together and help and if you tell me where to make a donation it may be small but I will.
just pm me.
Luv

[DianeScraps]

Find your local freecycle list at freecycle.org Place a 'wanted' request for beds and beding and you will have them quick.

Additionally get in touch with your church/local church their are plenty of groups that will be thrilled to help them.

Hugs and blessings to all of you.

Diane

[Volfe]

Oh my!

I'd contact the media pronto!

good luck

Maia

Contact a local bank about setting up a trust fund with minimal starter funds for the children.
Call Goodwill, they often have very helpful services.
And please, ask your friend to speak to someone with knowledge of traumatic events - effects.

[stillwaiting]

Pug,

Please talk to some of the local church's in your area. In a case like this most will be more than willing to donate some beds. Also, you could call some of the linen services in LR and ask them for donations for bed linens. I know they will help with donations.

I will continue to think of more places you can contact.

[kforkids]

oh Pugsooie!
How awful for you, your friend and all the children! I'll be praying! You got some great advice on who to contact. I'd add two others- no three- the shelter she was staying at (they should have community contacts who would help in cases like this), the police- it sure seems like they were negligent and they would probably bend over backwards to be seen in a good light after this, and the local DSS- they should also have the resourses to get your friend set up quickly to take those children.

[mom2GRLC]

I am so sorry!!!

I still have the shivers and teary eyes..that is just so terrible. What a tramatic thing for your friend. I can't even imagine if that were my sister. Her life will never be the same...and those poor children.

Where is the father? I hope he will get the death penalty for that one. That's what he deserves.

I bet you that police officer will never forgive himself. I'm sure people make comments like that all the time...and don't do it...but what about these times where they do follow up.

Were the children staying at the shelter with her? How are they dealing with this....hopefully they will also get the therapy they need. Where are the kids now? In fostercare? With your friend? I wish I was a little closer to help you out. I think I'm about 4 hours from you....I'm in Jacksonville, Ar....about 30minutes farther away from you than Little rock. I would gladly take some of the kids if i lived closer and....had room in my home. I hope your friend gets all the kids ASAP.

Maybe...you can enter her name in to EXTREME HOME MAKEOVER...or other shows like that. They will rebuild her home...make room for all the kids and...completely furnish it for her. I don't see how they could turn down a story like that. I still have the shivers thinking about it.

PLEASE PLEASE...keep us posted and let us know how we can help.

[pugsooie]

OH MY GOSH JESSICA GARNER!!!! EXTREME HOME MAKEOVER!!!! I am definately going to do that. WHAT A GREAT IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love it!!!!!!!

Yes the children were staying in the home with her except for her oldest daughter who is 17 and was staying with her boyfriends family at the time. The older kids are very upset, but the younger ones 8 and 9 yr olds don't quite understand yet. They keep asking when their mom is going to get them. I think they just do not want to accept it yet.

All of your ideas were great!! I actually did call the media and they played my segment and asked for beds and monitary donations, but now we have enough beds on the way and they don't have a penny to pay for the funeral, so I am going to call tomorrow morning and tell them that they need money to be donated to the funeral home. I also am going to call the police station, women's shelter, DHS, churches and some other organizations that I just thought of. I wish it was a Monday tomorrow so I could get more done. This is so hard. I want to help as much as I can, but it is really hard on the weekend when nothing is open.

Thanks everyone.

[michellemartin]

Jessica, that was a good suggestion. I dont think they'd turn it down either, not with all the publicity that story is likely to get. I'd call the media pronto also, the police should have done what they promised, and AT LEAST have followed her all the way home. Even maybe watched her home for a while to make sure the man wasnt coming to hurt them after the comment he made. The police department will likely take some responsibility for what happened, and I'd go to them also asking for help. Though if they can be sued for their part of the responsibility of this, they may look better for helping when she asks, and if she's going to sue them it may be better to just do that right away rather than to ask the police for help.

This is a tragic story, I hope the children are all able to stay together.

[DiamondzR]

That was such a sad story and I am so glad you have received the help that you needed... now for the tough stuff.... SOMEONE needs to contact an attorney and file a wrongful death lawsuit against the police department and the officer specifically for the children. As an ex Sheriff's Deputy and a current CPS worker I feel for those children and the family. Remember that DHS can provide referrals for services that the children will need and they will need counseling... even the oldest ones.... and other services... educational needs to be met with a father that will hopefully be in prison.... There are so many services the Department can offer... Ask and keep asking.

[mom2GRLC]

I just saw a little blurb...on the news about this story. They did not do it justice.

One thing they mentioned was that strangers...tried to help by beating the guy with crow bars.

At least some people stepped up and tried to help instead of just sitting by and watching it happen.

I hope her family is comforted during this rough time. Give them all of our love.

[pugsooie]

DiamondzR:
She is actually in the process of suing the police department. I will keep you guys informed about this situation as well.

We have gotten so many donations and everything. I can't believe it. We have had over 100 people call for beds and the community mission, bedford camera and video, 3 or 4 churches in town and a bunch of other people have called and wanted to donate money for the funeral and famiy. Then we finally got ahold of the battered women's shelter and they offered to pay for 100% of the funeral!!! I am so happy!!

Thanks for all of your prayers and kind words. This was a crazy situation. Now we will just have to deal with the funeral and all and then getting the kids back with my friend.