[mom2GRLC]

Last night while i was busy doing things i oveheard on the news that a mother and father in NC who had their children taken into fostercare because they had a meth. lab, went to the foster parents home and kidnaped the kids by gun point. They caught up with the parents and they are now in jail.

CAN YOU IMAGINE?????

As i heard this...I froze up and thought ...oh my gosh...what if this happened to my family???? what if those were my foster kids???

How did they know where the foster parents lived? Did they follow them home after a visit? Did someone leak oiut that info.?

There is also a 16 year old foster chiild in our state (Arkanas) who shot his foster father and is now looking at some serious charges. The foster father is still in the hospital so hopefully he willmake it through.

This stuff is so scary. We take in the younger kids..so I don't think we will be shot by them...but...we have had to deal with false allegations(almost feels the same...if you ask me).

Have any of you had to go through terrible things like that...where either the child or the parents of your foster child hurt you or your family?

This case really hits home to me..because we just got a baby boy several weeks ago and at the last vist...the social worker seemed nervous and told me to wait outside in the car...they were going to bring me the baby..and hold the parents inside ..until after I left because they thought they might follow me...and they are some pretty strange people...and drugs to that and they can be capable of anything.

Two days ago when i was testifying for our 4 year old fd in court..against her father who sexually molested/raped her...the aunt was talking to me. She was also testifying against the father...she said to me "I'm going to really have to watch my back when i leave here today" I said...oh...I'm sure they wouldn't hurt you...she siad"You don't know these people". Again...we left before they were done..so they couldn't follow us home.

A few weeks ago...my childs social worker had to call the police..while i was there visitng her because...and very racial family who had their children taken away was furious with her for some reason..and made all kinds of threats to her...well they showed up at the front office...and asked to speak to her in a not so nice way.....so they called the cops. While i was talking to her...I could tell she was really worried..not only for herslf but her family.

I know that we are in a dangerous job....there are a lot of people that are very angry their kids were taken away...and they will stop at nothing sometimes to get their kids back....I'm just so grateful for all those parents who...do it the right way...and are actually grateful that you cared for their children while they could not.

[kforkids]

Yes, the NC situation is really scary. I can't believe they put those kids back in the same foster home! That county is really small. Most people would know where others live.
We had one fdaughter with us for awhile- her biofather was a pedophile. At the one team meeting we were at toghether, he gave the SW better directions to my house than I could have! (They apparently followed the SW taking our fdaughter home from a visit). SCARY!
If you've had parents express their gratitide to you, you've certainly got the minority!

[mckenna]

i know this is a thread about the scary things that can happen to a fp, but i have to respond to : If you've had parents express their gratitide to you, you've certainly got the minority!

i have had 4 foster children in my home, the first one was there such a short time, there was not contact with bparents, but the other 3's parents all thanked me for taking such good care of their children (2 had the same mom). i know i am very lucky to have had these experiences

[mom2GRLC]

Most of the parents i have met..have thanked me. It's just so scary that the opposite could happen...without you even knowing it's coming. When i saw the parents of these kids...on the news I would not have thought they were capable of doing what they did.I think that is what scared me the most.
Sometimes the most thankful people...in just a moment can turn from happy and grateful...to thinking you are the worst parent in the world. If they missunderstand something....or see the slightest problem with the kid..they automatically think it is your fault..and that you should be investigated. This has happened a couple times to me.

In fact...the baby i have right now...was brought into foster care...for neglect and abandonment, but also had a very bad diaper rash. I treated it wth presciption medication at every diaper change. The rash almost went completely away before the the first vist...then flared up again...the day before their vist. I brought him to the doctor the morning of his visit to be re-checked and was given an antibiotic...because it turned out to be a staff infection...along with the yeast infection...that I had been treating. It wasn't my fault that his rash came back...I had written proof of all the times I changed him and medicated him as the DR....said. But the grandparents of the child...were furious that he (STILL) had the rash..and assumed i was neglecting him as well. That is the day..they had me...leave with the baby first so the family couldn't folow me home.

[pugsooie]

That is way too scary! They need more protection for foster parent's privacy I think.

[msheartofgold]

You know the system can be so screwed up, out of the 4 placements none of the bp knew where i lived had my phone # i just would not allow it. With my second placementi did allow my sw to give one family my cell # and i only had them call me, you know with caller id in all. Only because this was for 2 week and they were only in the system for something silly, but they did keep asking if they could bring their bikes and more clothes to our house "oh no meet me at the agency".
With the placement we have now it was order that mom or dad could not contact me for any reason at all. ** has a history of calling all times of day or night of showing up, and we don't need that kind of drama in our lives "you know what i mean" One thing i can say about our agency is they not only care about the safety of the children but also the fp.
I don't know if all states/agencies would allow this but this for our safety as well as the kids there should be a law that the birth families should only be supplied with mybe a P.O Box, only the first name of the parents and the city the child we be in for the duration of placement that is it. Because with the internet being so useful you can get a persons address and telephone # by have the last name scary.

"I know one darn thing my fd's parents only know my first name and my Dh's middle"
it was order because both parents have some mental illness.
I heard that bp are suppose to have all of the fp info when the child is place i don't know if it true but, you just can't be to sure what some people will do so just talk some of these thing over with you sw's.
Good Luck All