[leaabc123]

Well, despite the objections of his worker and CPS. Our newborn is being discharged to a relative and they are planning to place him in detention with his bio-mom at some point (if they find one willing to take her).

I am again dissapointed in a system that is not protecting kids but putting them in harm's way again and again.

And, we will likely be losing our 8 month old, who has been here for 4 months, on Monday (again despite social worker objections).

Judges continue to give relatives huge advantages in court, even when it is not in the child's best interest.

[kforkids]

UGGGGGGGG! I am so sorry! Our system STINKS sometimes!

[pugsooie]

How old is peanut and how long have you had him?

I am so sorry! I am waiting to find out the same thing on my newborn.

[leaabc123]

He is only 5 days old, we picked him up on saturday. I have to say that I am dissapointed but not heartbroken as I have not let my guard down yet. But it brings up all the sadness I am feeling at the thought of losing our 8 month old next week ( not definite but likely). He has been here for four months.
I was looking forward to the holiday but not really anymore, and it is usually my favorite time.
We have decided not to take anymore kids until after christmas, unless we get called for someone who is already tpr'd, or one of our kids comes back into the system.
I continue to be dissapointed that judges constantly disregard what is actually in the child's best interests in favor of family members (not that this is always true but it has been my experience with 3 out of 4 placements).
I have also made lots of calls for kids who are photolisted in various states, as well as our own. And either, no one gets back to us or the child is already placed. We are very close to giving up.

[L-A-J-C-R-C]

{{{Lea}}} please don't give up! These kids need us desperately! I know how frustrating this is, I can't understand it myself. It is so sad that they are placing him in a center with her! That is NO ENVIRONMENT for a child.

I will be praying for you and your family. Just wanted to give you a hug!

Michelle

[leaabc123]

All I heard that was said in court (from baby's SW'r) is that mom (who is a teenager) deserves to be with her baby. Yes, she was so concerned that she was on the run from police for her entire pregnancy with family members hiding her. she was so concerned that she smoked pot, drank alcohol (and who knows what else, since the blood work is not even back yet).

Like I have said, I am no stranger to this system but I had no idea how little power foster parents have. We take care of these kids day after day and have little or no input as to where they go.

I am emotionally drained and tired, as is my partner. I know we are not likely to give up but oh I don't know, I am rambling now. I suppose it doesn't help that I am alone since she is away on business and friends and relatives don't necessarily understand this, although they try to.


Thanks for reading.

[pez collector]

I am so sorry to hear about this situation. This is incredibe. It is so wrong. I agree with your post on another thread about the parents getting too many chances. The children suffer for these decisions.
I am heartbroken for you and your partner. I will pray that the judge makes the right decision for your 8 month old. Please continue to visit us here on the forum to let us try to keep up your spirits. Remember that we are thinking and praying for you. God bless.

[jenandnaomi]

Oh I am so sorry to hear that! When my wife and I first got into fostering we thought if we didn't get to be a permanent family for a child they would at least be going to a safe place. We're finding out that is not often the case.

They are trying to put our newborn with Bmom's old foster sister from when she (bmom) was in foster care......and they are considering it a kinship placement which has biological precedence over the foster family (us). Now that's a stretch!

I understand how frustrating it can get dealing with the system and I never know how much more I can take sometimes. We know what you're going through and you're not alone. ((hugs))

[pugsooie]

I know how you feel. They are trying to move our 3 mo old (who we have had since 6 days old) in with her grandma, but they said that they won't know anything until the home study that they keep putting off. So I haven't been getting to psyched about the holiday's either because they keep saying they don't know if she will be here for Christmas or not.

It is so hard when they are so tiny (it is hard at any age), but I always wonder when they cry are they going to get the attention that they need. It makes me sick to think about it. I can only hope that if she does get moved that she will be loved and cared for properly, but I don't think that this certain grandma can do all of that right now as she has 4 of her other grandchildren living with her and her dying husband. Why would they even consider her with her hands so full? I know, I know...because they always consider "family" first.

[tlc4kidz]

I don't even know what to say......I guess I'll start with sorry. I am baffled by a system that is SUPPOSED to protect defenseless children, not adults who make their own choices. Reading posts from you and pugsooie, and jenandnaomi makes me sad. I then start to feel guilty that we were so blessed to get a child at 2 days old, follow it through to what we thought would be reunification, and have the parents consent on not only her, but her baby brother, too.

Where do we put all these emotions????!! It seems that this forum is SO split right now with the extremely happy stories of some of us finalizing in the next few weeks and then some who are going through tragic times with the children they love at risk. I just hope that we can pray for you and you are able to rejoice with us....I suppose we need your stories to keep us grounded as much as you need ours to give you hope. Hang in there....you'll be in my prayers.

[leaabc123]

I am happy for every family and child who knows they will be safe and secure. Along with that happiness is a pang of sadness and yes some jealousy, although I know that some of you struggled just as hard to get where you are.

The kicker with our newborn (who was picked up already) is that there is no guarantee that the b-mom will get int a place where she can have her baby with her (they still have to accept her and spaces are limited). Also, the "relative" is not a blood relative but a family acquaintance who may decide not to be a long term placement if b-mom goes to a place where baby can not come or if b-mom goes awol again.

So, before this baby is even a month old, he could very likely end up in 3 different placements (or 4 if you count the hospital).

Now, I am left with our 8 month old who is definitely bonded to us. He looks at me with such trust in his eyes and that trust will be lost if he has to leave on Monday.

I knew it would be hard to do this but I didn't know it would be this hard!