[pugsooie]

Hi again.

Well, my fs had his court case this morning on his perm. placement and he was reunified with his parents. (This fs is the one that I posted about the nightmares and potty training).

The bad thing is that even his cw said "I can almost guarantee you that he will be taken away again". That is how bad the home situation is. And they won't even let the sister go home!!! What is going on in this case!!??

As of two weeks ago his cw told me that the parents house was "eaten up with roaches" that there was a hole in the living room ceiling, that daddy and mom both are not working, that they have no insurance on their van, and that dad's bipolar disorder is not being treated...........why I ask you would they send these children home.

The reason these children came into care is a good enough reason to terminate rights immediately.

They said that if he comes back into care again that they are going to do an automatic tpr. I am just sick. I am not going to be able to sleep until next week when I get an update on him.

Thanks for letting me vent guys...

[L-A-J-C-R-C]

{{{Pugsooie}}}

I'm so sorry this has happened to your fs. I will pray for God to watch over him while he's away from you.

I can't answer the question - WHY? It doesn't make sense to me, especially with all you've written about his home enviroment. Let's just hope that his sw follows up with this family - AND OFTEN!

Best of luck to you and your fs.

Michelle

[Malificient]

Pugsooie, Im saddened to hear of your latest news. Please know that although you cannot change your circumstance, you CAN change how YOU handle yourself during these storms. Pray, and Pray some more. Pray for safety and protection of these little children. Pray for the kids parents, that they may ask for forgiveness, and that God can show them how to be better parents to their kids. I can't fathom how frightened you must be, knowing your fs has to return to such emotionally debilitating surroundings...... but have FAITH, that everything will turn out for the best in the end. If it was meant for you to have your fs in your home than, you and he WILL be together again. God will keep your fs safe, just pray and ask for his guidance in this situation. I know this is NOT the christian adoptive parents site, however, I AM a christian and am not ashamed to share my faith with others, particularly in their time of need. I will keep you and your kids in my prayers. I also pray that God grants you the peace you'll need during this transition time in your life. fondly, malificient (aka. karen)

[kforkids]

Pugsooie,

((((Hugs)))) I'm SO sorry! There just isn't much more frustrating than not only have a child return to his parents, but to hear the caseworker say what yours did. While I'm sure it was meant to be a positive thing for you, it does hurt!
I'm so sorry this child won't be returning to a safer place. I hope you can be there ofr this little boy.

[yanknrebel]

Pugsooie,

I am just so very sorry to hear about your fs. If your cw is a good caring cw, she will make frequent and unannounced visits to check in on this child. If she even supsects something is not healthy of out of soirts, she can remove that child again.

We will keep praying for you and your family and that precious fs.

[Redangel]

I understand excatley what you are going threw. I went threw the same thing with my boy last year at this time. In fact this was bio mom fourth child in the system, but this one was going home. The bio parents also lived in a unlivable place no heat, black mold, ect. But somewhere in my heart I knew it wasnt going to be a permant thing, but my fear of him getting hurt was unbarible.

The caseworkers also where scared about his return, but the birthparents did everything the state asked. Well 2 days before his date of returning home for good they blew everything, also recieved 20 calls from neighbors that where concerned about his non stop crying, and her yelling.

Any day I will be gettting a phone call from our laywers with a court date of his adoption. I know this is hard but stay strong, see if you can help with the transion, and pray. My prays will be with you. Hang in there..

God Bless

[leenab]

Hang in there Pug,
Sometimes things happen for a reason. We've had children leave and come back into care, about 25% from our experience.

But I've never heard of TPR happening immediately, ever. And we've had some horrible neglect & abuse cases: shaken baby syndrome of a sibling (still no TPR there), 2 broken legs (no TPR there), drug use (no TPR) and our son Raj's history was really bad and it took a year in care to get TPR before that it took 2 1/2 yrs with biofamily not cooperating before Raj was removed. And then he had been medically neglected (scabies for 1 1/2 yrs), developmentally delayed, mentally abused, physically really small for his age from not being fed properly, not bathed for a very long long time. This family had previously lost other children to the state, biomom has 11 children and isn't parenting any of them.

So hang in there and know it can be a long road to TPR, even if it seems like it really shouldn't be. I know a lot of people on the forum have had really long TPR experiences.

-LeenaB

[jolean12]

I am so sorry to hear about your situation. Some very close friends of mine that had their 2 foster children (at the time 2 & 3) and there brother (at the time 12) sent to live with grandma (home they were removed from, just not the person). Later that same day the oldest brother was killed b/c grandma allowed him to ride a go-cart on the street.....on top of the fact there were no brakes, helmet, or roll cage. He was hit by a car that could not see him coming around the corner, this person is still unable to get behind the wheel. After that incident it still took DCFS 3 more weeks to remove the babies. My friends will be going to court on December 15th for there TPR hearing.

I will be praying for the baby and your family in this time of need.

[pugsooie]

Well, I do feel a little better. His cw called me aside when I took another fs to a visit and told me that she was very sorry that it happened this way and that starting immediately they are going to start unannounced visits 2 to 3 times per week! That did make me feel better. She seems to think that it is only a matter of time that she will catch them doing something wrong as his parents even said that they couldn't handle his sister and "didn't think she needed to come home", but she is going home and his cw thinks that they will not be able to handle it.

leenab,
I too believe that everything happens for some unknown reason, and I think that we will meet up again someday, hopefully sooner then later.

jolean12,
Your story makes me very sad...and SCARED thank you very much!!! Just kidding. It actually does though, but that is the kinds of things that we have to deal with and be prepared for when we choose to foster.

Redangel,
Thanks for your story, it does bring me a little hope.

To everyone else. Thanks for your kind words and thoughts.

If our fs does come back into care we have talked about taking his sister also, she is 6, but she is a handful and I have never had any over 2, so I guess we will just wait and see if their parents do good.

[pez collector]

I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. Your poor little boy!!! I was glad that the cw will be doing the visits. I will pray for his safety and for your continued strength. God bless.

[leaabc123]

We will be going through something similar in a few weeks when our 8 month old is likely to be returned to a relative who he has not even seen for 4 months.
The relative had only requested a visit recently but we were expected to voluntarily transport our little guy to this person's house (who we did not know and who he does not know) and then leave him there. We refused and offered to meet in a public place which the relative refused.

The social worker has also said that he should not be returned but her hands are basically tied at this point. It is very frustrating that the system continues to put the interests of parents and relatives ahead of the interests of the children (in situations where children are clearly going to be unsafe or unhealthy).

I will keep you and your little guy in my thoughts!

[pugsooie]

Well, here is a small update.

My former fs parents have not been taking him to his theraputic school, which was the terms that they were supposed to follow in order to get him back.

It has only been two days that he has missed, I know, but that is two day's he should have been learning. I understood about Friday, I figured they would want to spend some time with him, but he isn't there today again.

And now my cw is calling and wanting to talk to me about him, so we will see what is going on....

ill keep you guys informed...

[pez collector]

Has the cw done any unannounced visits yet? If not, when are they going to start? My heart breaks for this little guy. I will continue to pray for his safety and for your continued strength. Please keep us up to date. God bless.

[pugsooie]

They are supposed to do an unnanounced visit tomorrow, but I just talked to the cw and she said that Friday she let slip and told the parents that he had to be in school Monday and here he is not in school again, so the cw said that she may just stop by and see why they didn't follow the rules.

She said that she doesn't see these parents complying. I don't either personally, but I am not going to get my hopes up.

His cw said that she is going to keep me informed. Also, when I asked about where to drop off his belongings she told me to keep them until the end of the week to see if his parents are going to get their act together.

[jolean12]

I am really sorry to have scared you but when I read this it just brought back so many memories. The older brother, D, stayed with us when he 1st came into care and they sent him to live with his mother. Well she had a nervous breakdown, or something, and he came back into care. We were full when he came back in so they placed him elsewhere. Our best friends were the ones with the babies and they saw him at least once a week to make sure he was able to visit with his siblings, he worried so about them. I know the pain you are going through and am praying that your fs will be back were he belongs soon. Like little D and A they are now safe, sound, and very happy. Hopefully we will get an positive update from you soon.

Please keep us posted and I will be praying for the safety of your fs and your peace of mind.