[Crane13]

We have two kiddos right now, four and six, boy and girl. We have two "foster care" beds and two cribs. We are licensed for three but have the minimums to be licensed for 6.

We were trying to adopt a teen over the summer. Visits were going well and then very suddenly his goal was changed from adoption. It was very hard on us. And actually, his birthday is tomorrow.

We really are not looking to adopt right now. We are not actively trying to find a match. We are fostering becase we can (And I think we are good at it.) It gives our foster kids a chance to be our only children and be our focus while they are here, which is very fun. We are having a GREAT time with the age that we have now. Our last baby left a month ago, and it has been a wonderful month with just two kids, no diapers, swimming lessons, sunday school, everything!

Last night, we got a call about an 11 or 12 year old. Mom abandonded him over a year ago with a family, so no one knows his real birthdate. Just left him there. The mom from that family died and the dad doesn't want to raise this boy. Mom is no where to be found and does not want to be found. So TPR is coming! Anyway, we don't have a bed. We could have scrambled... A late night trip to Sams Club to purchase a bed. DH had doubts and thought that our life was nice right now the way it is. I agree. Things are going very well for us and we actually have time just for DH and I now. We have had five babies in the last year with only a week off to recover, so the peace is nice.

Anyway, we said no and now I wish we had tried to make it work. Anyone else ever feel like this?

My father-in-law, who plays the part of a doting grandpa to our kids, has been here for the last three days. Last night we were sitting around the grill eating smores outside under the moon. It was very peaceful and an experience that our kids had not had before. I just kept thinking how this child is grieving a loss and how we could have been there to help. I feel like I missed an opportunity that God sent us.

Jill

[L-A-J-C-R-C]

Hi Jill,

I, too, have turned down placements then felt HORRIBLE afterwards. Luckily, I have a wonderful friend that keeps me in line (I'd take them all LOL). Her favorite saying is, "you can't save the world Michelle." Of course, I usually respond with, "no, but I can die trying LOL."

You made a choice for the benefit of your entire family at the time. You need and deserve this break!!! I am positive that that little boy is placed with a family that will love and care for him like he deserves.

It's tough to realize that we "can't save them all." But it's important to realize that we need to take care of ourselves and the children we currently have with us too!

Best of luck and try not to regret your decision. You made it so it's the right one!

Michelle