[DoublyBlessed]

Boy am I glad I found this site! You guys have been there, and know the frustrations and pains of this process!

We were placed with 2 day old b/g twins through the DSS we had worked with years ago in May 04... we were expecting an older sibling group after giving up ttc, but hadn't heard anything in almost a year - then the phone call!

Has anyone else done foster-adopt with infants (successfully)? This is baby 4&5 for their birthmom in four years, she has lost custody of the first 3. After four months of being offeried multiple fc services, she is not cooperating with DSS or wanting to see the babies... but refusing to sign the permanent entrustment agreement.

I've tried getting info from the bmom for the kids, but can't get much out of her via our "journals" or the few meetings with her. What should I do? I want to be able to answer the kids questions, and have info for them when they get older. (I do have a few pics with her and the babes)

Any helpful info/advice would be appreciated!

God Bless,
Beki

Mom to Josiah & Gracie 5/04

[L-A-J-C-R-C]

Hi,

We are in the process of adopting our two foster children. They are now 2 and 3. The youngest was 4 weeks old and his sister was 13 months old when placed with us. They are babies 6 and 7 for their mom. She too had lost all her other children (we now have the oldest (15 y/o) with us too.)

It took 2 years (Oct. 30th) to get to this point. Their mom hasn't seen them since the 3 y/o was removed and did nothing towards reunification. She did say she would appeal the TPR, however, never did anything except hold up the process to get back at the State.

So, to answer your question, it definitely is done but it's a long process unless she terminates voluntarily. You can try to contact the family that has the other children and they may have some information to share. It would also be important to form a relationship among the children. Our's just met their other siblings in July and it was awesome! There may also be relatives that would be willing to give you information.

Good luck.

Michelle

[DoublyBlessed]

Congrats Michelle!

How wonderful that you were able to have the older sibling also!

So far our DSS hasn't followed up (to our knowledge) with the neighboring county's DSS to let baby #3's family know that we are interested in getting together. The first two babies are together in yet another county.

In VA, due to the other voluntary entrustments (she waits to the last minute and signs) they are only doing this for a year - so by next summer all rights will be terminated! And then we wait for the 18 month mark for finalization of the adoption.

Did you rename any of your little ones?
Thanks,
Beki

[sfbaymom2000]

DoublyBLessed,

I just wanted to say congratulations on your babies...that is awesome! There is another poster on this board, Bumpkin, who I believe has a very similar situation. I think she has b/g twins about the same age, who also have older siblings in other homes. I think you could find her through the Members option if you wanted to send her a PM (private message). Good luck to you!

Lynn

[L-A-J-C-R-C]

Hi Beki,

No, all we are doing is changing our little boy's middle name. We kept their first names and of course they'll get our last name.

Keep on top of the DSS. I have found that you need to push them sometimes to get things done in a timely manner. Remember, the squeeky wheel gets the oil!!! Don't worry about pestering them, these kids need a home!!!

Good luck and keep us posted!!! TWINS - HOW AWESOME!!!

Michelle

[MkMw]

HI there -

Just wanted to say Hello and Congratulations - welcome to the wonderful world of twins!

Ours was a parental placement adoption. And, we too live in Viriginia!

Anytime you want to "talk twins" drop me a line!

[suzilyn]

hey! we got a baby girl 5 days old then the next day a baby boy that was 3 days old!! not related and not twins but it sure felt like it!!! ) we did not plan to adopt either one but when the tpr happened for both we decided their was no way we could part with either! we will be finalizing in Nov!!! they turned one in august and now they are mobile and into everything!!!! i love it!! good luck!
susan!

[yanknrebel]

We have a set of boy/girl twins also. They came to us on Aug. 2 of this year, and joined our first foster daughter who has been here since she was 2 days old and is now 32 months. My childhood dream was to have a set of twins. We made it very clear to our DCS that we wanted twins IF a set ever became available. When I found out that a set had come into custody, but the casemanager placed them outside our county (although he never called any families in our county as he was supposed to do) I made a huge stink. He got into loads of trouble and DCS made sure that when the next set came into custody that was from our county or the neighboring, that we got the call. We were overjoyed. They are beautifl babies and have just blossomed since being here. They were negelct and failure to thrive. THey are thriving now.

We WILL adopt these twins if they become available and if we have to go before a committee and are selected We got them at 5 months old (were their foster parents for three days in the hospital at the age of 2 months, but was released and sent home with bmom). When they came back into cusoty, we were called and were so happy. They are now 8 months and we plan on them being here for quite awhile.

[bumpkin]

HI

I saw this thread the other day,but didn't have a chance to respond. I also am adopting a set of b/g twins out of our states DSS system (legal risk placement). My older sond was adopted through a domestic infant agency 7 years ago. THey are FUN!!! We all just sit and watch them with BIG smiles on our faces.

whoops had to go for a minute N. pulling R's hair !

We were chosen for them in mid April, transitioned for about 10 days and they were in our home early May. We expect to FINALIZE by the end of the year. YEAH !

I'm afraid that I can't help much with your question. Our twins BMom did not attend any visits and we actually just met her yesterday for the first time. (they will be one next week). I would be sure to ask to see the file and gather as much info as possible from the social workers, try and get them gabbing -

It's hard not to know everything about your children. Just remember, most of us through adoption, whatever way we get there, don't know alot and most of us survive nad thrive just fine.

Good Luck
Bumpkin

[DoublyBlessed]

WOW! I can't believe that there are this many foster/adopt parents with twins!

YanknRebel - I'll be praying about your situation! That must be hard not knowing what is going to happen...

suzilyn - So what do you tell people when they ask the magic "Are they twins?" Do you have days when you answer yes to make them go away? Are babies don't look anything alike - different hair/eyes/skin tones (maybe different dads) and people still ask if they are identical!

MkMw - How old are your twins? And as silly as this sounds... how do I email just you?

We had an amazing talk with the sw who is also the fcsw supervisor. They've decided that they have enough evidence to seek termination at the Jan 6mo fc hearing! And everyone involved with DSS is going to call them Josiah and Gracie (vs legal names given when they'd been in our home for 4 days... we couldn't call them Baby A and Baby B). As silly as it sounds it is a big answer to prayer. Has anyone else given names to their infants?

Thanks again ladies!
Beki

[MkMw]

I'll send you a PM with my e-mail, but it is also in my profile...

And just wait until some total stranger walks up to you and says "so, did you take fertility drugs to get twins" some people!

[yanknrebel]

doublyblessed,

When we got our fd when she was 2 days old from the hospital, we were told that her father had named her Kayla Marie. So that is what we called her from the start, with family and friends. Then the cw calls 10 days later and says, "Oh, they changed the baby's name". It is now **** *********. Well, we had already been calling her Kayla, the cws and even the judge and the legal documents from the beginning had Kayla on them. We still call her that today. Now we are about to adopt her and she is almost 3. I am so glad we didn't call her by her 2nd legal name, the one they changed it too. I do not like it and the middle name is the bmom's name. We will continue to call her Kayla but have given her a new middle name. We very well may give her a third name of **** (her legal first name now). As for the twins, who looks very promising that we will be able to keep, we have names picked out for them IF we get to adopt, but are using their legal name right now.