[NorthBay04]

I need some advice. Our sw presented us with a referral for a 13 month old baby girl whose mother will most likely lose her parental rights. The mother has bipolar disorder. We have waited such a long time for a referral but I'm not sure what to do. I'm a bit worried about the baby developing bipolar disorder also. Any thoughts? I'm going to do some research on the internet and try to get more info about this. At this point, we don't have a lot of details about the baby or the birthfamily. We were just asked if we might be interested.

[leaabc123]

While there is a genetic possibility of depression or bipolar disorder (you should find out any info about the birth father's mental health), how strong the genetic connection is still unclear.

it is the old argument of genetics vs. environment.

good luck with whatever you decide

[mj77]

I was told by someone on this site that with one parent having bi-polar, there is a 1/7 chance the child will get it. To me those were not high odds. The more you learn about it and treatments there are, the less scared you might be. I am sure ALL of us have mental health issues somewhere in our family tree and there are NO guarantees that our bchildren wouldn't have it, so for us, it was not worth passing up a precious child. What if they were to be in a car accident or witnessed trauma at some point in their lives where they were permanantly effected? I know you would still be supportive, I know too we are talking about adoption an and issue which you are knowingly, possibly subjecting yourselves to. I woud do you homework, go on the special needs forum which I think is under foster care and ask those parents about their experiences too because they might be able to offer some great insight.

[tlc4kidz]

Just my opinion, but I think bipolar disorder is being diagnosed more frequently and at younger ages. I know 2 families who have adopted out of fostercare and have children with bipolar disorder...both are elementary age. I think you will have concerns about any foster/adopt child. They didn't come into care because there were no family issues. Most of the children will be exposed to drugs or alcohol, or have parents with some psych diagnosis. I would look at what else is going on in the family.....is mom truly bipolar or is she depressed and using drugs. Our fd's mom was once diagnosed as bipolar......within weeks after several of her children had been removed. The diagnosis was later removed as they felt it was situational related to the stress she was going through.

Do lots of research, praying if you are inclined, and follow your heart!!

[mj77]

Fosterma has a good point. Our oldest son's bmom was diagnosed bi-polar though she was also actively using methamph. and the state was trying to help get services for her. A cw I had talked to about her (who knew her) said she questioned the accuracy of the diagnosis. It could have certainly been there, but she was a drug user with a horrific upbringing from an alcoholic mother. We don't know what the future holds for our son, but we can't imagine life without him. He is healthy, on target and sweet. We are as prepared as we can be for the worst.

Keep in mind, the worst case should be disclosed with these kids. Sometimes it is, sometimes not. Just as you birth a child, you don't know exactly what possible issues you will be getting. Both our boys are doing much better than their cw or bullitin stated they would be. This isn't the case with every child but I think as you continue to research and prepare, you will be more certain of what you are open to.

[chaosjade]

I know 2 people diagnosed with bi-polar.
one was a very close friend who has just recently past away.
The other is a stay at home mother.She is in counceling and on prescription pills.
My one friend *** did not take her meds. She did a lot of drugs.
Many people diagnosed with this disease suffer also from alchohol and drugs of some kind. It's something in your brain. It's hard to explain.... kinda like a buzz and you want it to go away so they take these chemicals.
Both of these women had children and none of them suffer from bi-polar.
and as leaabc123 said genitics vs. enviroment

As all the posts suggest reading up on it and getting as much info as you can. But if you read some of the stories of people diagnosed w/ this you will see that they, most of them did suffer also w/ chemical dependency issues as well.
Fosterma is right,it is being diagnosed more .

Danielle Steel's son suffered from bi-polar. Actually the biography is very touching.
I wish you luck,

[tobeafamily]

Here's information from NIMH on this disorder:

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/bipolar.cfm#bp5

And from NAMI on Children & Bipolar:

http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Sec...ontentID=13107

HTH

Regina

[NorthBay04]

Thanks to all of you who replied. I appreciate your opinions. Thanks also Regina, for the website addresses. I spent a lot of time yesterday doing research myself. I also found a very informative website from the Child and Adolescent Bipolar Foundation. It is www.bpkids.org/learning/about.htm.

I did speak to the placement worker yesterday afternoon and got more info on the birthmother. As many of you alluded to, people with bipolar also have a history with substance abuse. We learned this birthmother also has a history of alcoholism and meth use.

We are waiting for more info on the birthfather, since the mother doesn't know which of two men is the birthfather.

The placement worker said that we should have more info by next week. She wants to talk with the birthmother and see how she feels about relinquishment. Right now, the baby is on track and doing well.

I guess we'll decide about being a fost-adopt placement for this baby after hearing more details next week.

Thanks again for your help,
Vicki

[skootinalong2]

Our middle son's B mom has this disorder. Our county has had some trainings on Bipolar disorder. We were told that there is a 25% chance that a child can have it if the parent does. I see it as there is a 75% chance they will not. We can all have some sort of mental illness in our families. It is scary because it is something we don't "see".

[Catlover]

Kudos, NorthBay04 on finding the BPKIDS website! It was recommended to me by a friend who's biological daughter was diagnosed with it a year or so ago. She got it from her Dad, who had been undiagnosed.

This child (who is about 11) has had to be hospitalized twice for a week or less to try and stabilize or adjust medication. My friend has learned how to restrain her when necessary. This is an extremely bright young lady who makes very good grades in school and who can normally conduct herself appropriately. Part of her recent problems revolve around beginning puberty.

It's an illness that can have flare ups with pretty stable periods in between. There is a link to substance abuse.

I started reading up because the child I'm adopting has been labeled with a variety of conditions - and that was the newest that surfaced. This is a 14 year old and they really still don't know. Many symptoms overlap different conditions and many behaviors may simply be the result of family instability, frequent moves, abuse and neglect, etc.

Good luck! Information should help you make the right decision for your family!

[NorthBay04]

Thanks to everyone for your input. I learn so much from these boards.

The decision has been made for us. We just learned that the little girl is going to be reunited with her mother, according to the placement worker. We are again in the waiting mode for another referral.