[number2mom]

Hi,
I need some support...our foster children all under the age of 3 whom we have had for 23 months just had a hearing. Birthmom has done nothing in the last 23 months has mental health issues along with drug addiction. We are hoping to adopt our foster children and It has been a long rough road. A Psychologist who evaluated mom stated that she does not have the parenting skills to parent these special needs children and could not obtain these skills within a resonable amount of time. Dispite this...the judge ordered Dual Diagnosis Rehab. Now they have "listed" a hearing for Goal Change and TPR in 5 months. The judge told mom she had to "enroll" by Dec (2 months before the goal change hearing) in this type of program. What should we expect?? Anyone have experience with this type of birthparent? OR this type of Rehab? I am trying to hold on here! Thanks!

[roxanna425]

What do the children's lawyer and CASA have to say? Has the bmom expressed any verbal interest in working towards keeping her children? I would think that the judge is just is covering his bases. I am not saying it's the right thing. Maybe the CASA or the kids lawyer can make a case about why something needs to be decided sooner? I hope it works out well. I know it's a hard process.

[mj77]

One case worker told me, "if you give them enough rope, they will eventually hang themselves" refering to parents where it's pretty obvious that they wont get their children back, but it is the states job to offer opportunities for services. If the parent isn't going to follow through with services what it shows is that the state, regardless of every reasonable effort above and beyond, the parent has failed repeatedly. It builds a case for the state for TPR and should this mom have more children in the future, it will make it that much easier for the state to TPR next time if need be.

[leenab]

I agree with mj about "giving them enough rope". This is exactly what our state does. They give them chances upon chances upon chances to show that the bioparents have improoved. This helps to document how unimproved the bioparents actually are.

I know Raj's parents were offered so many rehab treatments but failed each one and told the judge it was bc they didn't like the program or such and such. So each time the judge gave them a new rehab program. I guess it got to the point where the judge realized that the bioparents just didn't want to make an effort to get better.

As it turned out Raj's bioparents didn't get it together. His parents just disappeared for months at a time. At one point they'd been gone for more than 6 months (out of contact with DYFS) so TPR was scheduled and it went through. The bioparents were contacted about it, but didn't respond. They didn't even respond to a request for a goodbye visit. No one heard from the bioparents until Biomom delivered another baby in March. CW knew it was coming, but thought biomom was due in June. Placement specialist placed the baby elsewhere, but cw was planning to have the baby placed with us. Talk about a big mess. I confronted placement specialist who said that you're already dealing with enough from your 2 fost/adopt placements and she had placed the baby a week before in a fost/adopt home and didn't want to pull him out. It still makes me SOOO MAD!

Anyway, the state just needs to show that the bioparents were given a lot/ample chances to improve and get their child back. And when bioparents fail time after time it builds a case against them.

Hope this helps,
LeenaB

[tlc4kidz]

Ditto the above posts......we're in the same boat. I used to freak out every time we had a hearing or review meeting. It feels like everyone is bending over backward for the bp's who aren't working the plan. A worker finally explained to me that you DO want them to do that (and it must be documented) in order for TPR to hold up in court. Hang in there and keep loving those babies!!!

Dual diagnosis rehab just means that there are psych issues in addition to drug/alcohol issues addressed in the counseling. I bet the judge was saying she needs something more than just traditional drug rehab or AA/NA. The other diagnosis can be anything from major depression to schizophrenia to a personality disorder.