[jennyg1982]

Short update. The adoption worker for these two boys came by to see us and talk about the boys. From what she said the adoption disruption was not their fault. It was a second placement failure for this particular family. She said they were not prepared for a older child placement and the sometimes difficult adjustments these kids have to make. Which makes me wonder why were the boys placed there anyway? My husband is REALLY interested in these boys even with all we have now. I have expressed my concerns which he feels are very valid. My biggest concern is giving all these kids individual attention as much as possiable. I know we can afford it and have room etc. Bottom line we are going to pray long and hard and wait a few days and see how we feel. I really want to thank all of you for your encouragement and posts. No one else understands how hard these choices are unless you are a foster parent too. My heart goes out to these two boys but we have to make the choice based on more than our heart.

[leenab]

well jenny,
In light of new information in your last few posts I'd like to somewhat change my opinion. If you're able to be a stay-at-home mom and have a DH who at most works 2 days a week, then a large family seems very very managable. Provided dh helps out a lot. You have a very rare jem of a DH. Want to rent him out????

My Dh on the other hand works INSANE hours, usually on a short day 11 hours. On a long day he comes home and crawls into bed in the wee hours of the morning. This is usually seasonal, I have learned that in the spring time I hardly see him. He's a software designer for a big five accounting company (one that hasn't had a scandle). So he has a high pressure demanding job. All of this means that I have to really take charge of the children. And even although we can afford to have 6-8 children we'll probably stop at 4 because it's really tough with Dh's schedule. He's a great Dad, just a weekend Dad. All of the kids are in bed by the time he gets home at night, he does see them in the AM and plays with them for an hour before leaving for work. Everyone wakes up at 6am so there is time to spend with Daddy.

Honestly I really think it sounds doable in your family to add two more children. I would talk to all of your other children to see how they feel about it and go for it.

I'd love to know what a typical day/schedule is like in your family. Dh & I always wanted 6, but are in the middle of finding a new house to buy so we don't want to add more children to our family until we buy a house and move in. I've taken all 3 children with me to an open house and it was pretty crazy. They were so excited and couldn't contain themselves. So we're putting off more for right now.


LeenaB

[6babes]

Hi Jenny,
I think that if you feel that you can do it, then you should. I have 6 kids, aged 7 months, 22 months, 24 months, 8,9, 10. I hear negative comments all the time about how there's no way I can handle them, etc. All my kids get lots of attention, and my husband and I are far more involved with our kids than most of their friends' parents are. They all attend lessons, even the little ones, get their homework done (with my help), I volunteer in their classes. They are all very good kids with no behaviour problems. We go places all the time, they all spend individual time with me and their Daddy. The older kids love having lots of little siblings and brag to their friends about our large family all the time. The neighbourhood kids all hang out at our house and all tell me they wish I was their mom! I know that I am not done yet, and when my little ones are a little older, and we get a bigger house, (soon) we'll be accepting more. We are a very good foster/adoptive family and our agency and children's school all state that we are one of the best. Only YOU and your hubby know how many children are right for you. People who go on about how you can't care for them properly, etc. obviously wouldn't be capable themselves, but they have no right to judge your situation. I think lots of times those people are actually jealous that you can do it. If those boys do end up with you, I think they will be very lucky, as you sound like a wonderful family. I hope one day to follow in your footsteps! Good luck in whatever you decide!

[jennyg1982]

Thanks again for all your replies! We are slowly moving forward with this. The boys will be coming for a visit in about a week. We will see how things go with that. They will at first be placed with us as a foster placement as they have not where else to put these boys. I know we are VERY fortunate to have the siituation that we have. I really feel it is very hard for other foster parents where one or both must work. My husband is VERY good at helping with the kids. He takes them to almost all their doctors and theropy apts. And he is great helping around the house. I tell him all the time I could NEVER do this with out him! Our typical day begins at 5:30 am. My husband gets our highschooler up so he can do his breathing treatment (he has cystric fibrosis)before school and takes him on his way to work. I get up at 6:45 am. I baby sit a little girl and her parents drop her off then. At 7:00 am alarms start going off in the kids rooms. They all get up by them selves and get ready for school. They get a star for each thing they do ex. 1. get up when the alarm goes off. 2. Get dressed for school quickly (no fighting) 3. Make their bed. (they also get another star if they go to bed good) At the end of the week if they have earned enough stars, at least 12,they get a prize from our "prize treasure box" It works really good most of the time. (except when we have hurricanes) Anyway I take the kids to school about 7:45, they eat breakfast at school. And then I get to clean house, do lanudry, grocery shop and take care of the babies. We usually eat dinner all together at 5:30 each night and then it is time for the bed time rountine! But most of the time our schedule works great! Thanks again.