[Crane13]

We know that we will be moving out of state next summer. We are going back to grad school before we have the forever family. Right now, we are straight foster care. Selfishly, I don't want to tell the agency that we will be moving for a while, because I love having kids and I want to continue fostering. Has anyone else moved out of state? When do we tell the agency? Does our license transfer? How long does that take?

Heres a tough one: If the kids that are with us now would have TPR after we moved, would we still be considered for an adoptive placement?

Just not quite sure what to do...

Jill

[BrandyHagz]

2boys1Girl moved out of state I believe.

You might send her a PM and direct her to your thread!

[2boyz1girl]

Hi Jill,
I got your pm. Here's what happened with our case: We knew that we would only be in the state temporarily when we got licensed for foster care and we were very open about that. They need homes, so a temporary home was better than no home in their eyes. Our dd (first foster child) was a surprise (the first newborn our agency had ever taken in 13 years -- they were a therapeutic agency). She came home straight from the NICU when she was 10 days old. Her bmother lost interest quickly, and her bfather was in and out of jail. He got out when she was three months old, and was scheduled to get custody when she was six months old. In the mean time, we decided to move out of state believing we were going to lose her. Two weeks before the hearing bdad went back into jail, so they decided to allow her to move out of state with us. I'll be honest, it wasn't easy. They do what is called an ICPC (Inter-State Compact for the Placement of Children) transfer. The transfer can take up to six months to be completed, and our cw (horrible worker, later fired) initially insisted that I remain in the state with my dd until the transfer was complete (mind you that my dh had already moved out of the state by the time we knew we were going to be able to take her). Anyway, I ended up staying behind for a month and a half until the judge ruled to allow her to move out of state while the transfer was being done. No, your license won't transfer. Every state has different requirements, our new state did accept some of the training we had done though, so it was a little easier to get licensed here. We had been told that if her bfather had gotten custody as planned, then she had gone back into foster care or TPR had happened, we would have had a chance at adopting. Our story didn't end there however. Three months after we moved, in fact the very day our foster care homestudy was completed, we recieved a call from that horrible worker saying that bdad was again released from prison, and they were going to start reunification efforts again. We went through seven months of hell after that with them shipping our precious baby 9 hrs across three states every other weekend for visits. They finally decided to file for TPR last Dec., the hearing was set for April, and bdad decided to relinquish two weeks before the hearing. So she is now FINALLY legally free, and we are in the very sloooooow process of adopting. I hope that helps, I would be happy to answer any other questions you may have. However, we are moving tomorrow (just across town this time), so it might take me a couple of days.

[leastofthese]

I know I'm late responding, I don't get to read here as often as I'd like.

I totally understand your not wanting to tell the workers. You are right, they would probably be a little less inclined to send you placements.

My only concern with what you wrote is that the children would possibly have to be moved and that's not really fair to them--especially if it can be avoided.

I can tell you from experience--every move sets a child back--even a positive move done very carefully is a big change and the child must relearn all of the routines and has all the "new-ness" to get used to. (New mom & dad, new house, new bed, new smells, new family members, new pets, etc...).

The children in the foster care system have already had BIG losses. I don't think it's really fair to set them up for another one if you can avoid it. As much as we all love having children in our homes, we are all in it FOR THE CHILDREN--so all of our decisions should be made with their best interests at heart, that means that lots of times I've had to put my own feelings on the back burner--and that is SO hard when all I wanted to do was keep that kiddo! (See, I've been where you are ;o) )

Good for you for thinking it through ahead of time!!!

[Crane13]

We have never had a placement last for longer then 6 months. Most of them have been less then three. Our move is 8 to 10 months away, so I do not feel the need to tell the agency any time soon.

The kids that come to our home get treated like our very own children. They get swimming lessons, a dog, their own room, family dinners, church, and extended family. They are very special in our home. We are foster parents because of we saw so many who did not put their foster kids first and treat them like they are in a forever family, no matter how long. I have seen too many foster parents who are in this for the wrong reason. I would rather have a child in my home, help them get healthy, teach them some skills, show them that Jesus loves them, and then transition them to another home when we get close to moving, then to have them just go to another home.

Thanks for the feedback.

Jill

[2boyz1girl]

Yeah, my reasoning was that it was better for a child to at least get a glimpse at a healthy family to see how they should be treated. You know, plant some seeds for their future. I'm sure it's hard for the kids to have to move, but we all know that sadly, they're probably going to get bumped around anyway. At least your "bump" in their road can be a good one. I agree that if there are stable long term placements available, they should take priority. But if the kids need a safe place to go, a temporary place is better than no place.

[1of2moms]

We have not moved but we have our fson because the family that was hoping to adopt him (TPR extentions and extentions) had to move out of state and were unable to take D with them. This was his second placement. They had him for about 6 months and did a long transition into another preadopt home. The fmother stated in state while husband left to allow this to happen. Well, that preadopt placement fell apart at month 4. So then he went into an emergency placement for two weeks until our paperwork could be signed. So we are foster home 5 in under 2 years and the 3rd preadopt home. We are really hoping the the TPR hearing next week is really it as D has not been with his bmom for 20 months and with the other times he was taken out of the home, it has been well over 2 years in care.

If your placements are usually short term and you are not taking preadoptive placements, I think that you are not being bad by waiting until closer to your move. But as licences don't move from state to state, you should probably contact the area agency where you will be moving a few months before you move, at about the same time you tell your local agency. Then if the new place calls your local group, they have a heads up.