[SheldeMuse]

Has anyone had to ask to replace their Foster or Adoption Social Worker? I’m at the point that it seems necessary, and I have several possibilities I would like to run by you all.

It has been 14 weeks since I turned in the last few items for our home study. Everything else was "done". We've completed all our our classes, including some optional ones.

My worker did nothing with our file for 3 weeks, and didn’t return the voicemail I had left when dropping off the paperwork. She then told us we would need to wait 6 weeks for a meeting with her because there were “inconsistencies” between our adoption application and our child desired work sheet (one of the items we had just turned in). When we had the meeting, my husband and I found that any “inconsistencies” were due to how the county asked the question. At any case, she could have taken a first cut at resolving these issues over the phone in about 10 minutes. She told us our home study would be done in a few weeks.

This week, 5 weeks after the meeting, I left a voicemail to ask the status of our home study. I got a voicemail back two days later, with a blah blah blah about court dates and what judges want done… totally confusing to me. I left her a voicemail saying I hadn’t heard the words “court” and “home study” in the same sentence before, so I was confused. Her next voicemail provided more detail about pressure they’re under from one judge to get home studies done for custodial parents and made it slightly more clear. Not once in either message did she express any regret or empathy that it was taking so long, nor did she acknowledge that she has TWICE told us it would just be a few weeks until it was done.

Oh, and the final smack in the face was her saying she had it scheduled for next week, but "if it doesn’t get done, it doesn’t get done". This was after noting in the first message that it was just a tiny thing she needed to update.

My intuition is telling me that other people must have had a similar experience with her. Her “excuse mechanism” is very toned and muscular!

So, I’ve identified a few options:

Direct – I can call her, note that the basic issue is that she keeps making excuses after having twice told us it was almost done, and having noted there isn’t much to do. I will then ask her for a meeting within 2 days with her and her supervisor. I probably won’t note that I have notes from all of our telephone conversations and the two voicemails. I worry this would give her the opportunity to foul up our home study somehow.

Demanding – I can contact her supervisor with my concerns, lay out the timeline and play the voicemails for her. The supervisor’s job is to make decisions about meeting their mandates with the budget available. If I don’t squawk, no one has to acknowledge that their choices have consequences.

Coworker – I can call another adoption worker I’ve met. She was our friends’ worker. I can let her know we’re really struggling to understand if there can be any reasonable excuse for this taking 14 weeks, and if she has any suggestions about what we can do about this.

Foster License Worker – I mentioned this situation to my FW this week when I called to check if my license was in placement ready status. She asked how it was going, I told her. She suggested the timeline was unreasonable. I’m a little reluctant to involve her since I only have one worker I like!

Even if my home study gets magically done next week, I’m still stuck with an unresponsive worker who treats me like dirt. But I’m worried about the repercussions of doing anything. What’s to say we won’t “wait” for 5 years for a placement?

[wenrl]

Hello,

I have been exactly where you are and my advice is get used to it. This is a VERY SLOW process and as brandy new to the process, you become the last priority on your worker's list. It's frustrating, but unfortunately the way it will probably go for you every single step of the way. But, your homestudy will be done and eventually you will get a placement. However, it will very likely take FOREVER!

We are adopting from the foster system and applied for a child who supposedly was in great need of a home. It took nearly six months of begging and asking to hear anything. It took two months for her to get health insurance after moving in and we are her foster parents until she is adopted, but have not been paid for three months and are calling the payment line weekly.

When we ge to the point of scratching our eyes out, we contact supervisors and it helps ease our minds, but doesn't speed anything up much.

Until the our children and the system that cares for them become a financial and political priority, incompetence is what you're going to have to deal with. The system is just too overburdened to function very well.

[SheldeMuse]

Thanks for the reply. We've actually been in the system for a while, had an issue on our side that required us to delay things. Nothing unstable or weird of us, just something that needed a delay.

So the 14 weeks has just been to resolve one supposed discrepancy in what issues are acceptable to us. It was all wait time.

I just can't believe the caca that people think constitutes a valid reason for something. She told us to our faces 5 weeks ago that it was just a little thing to update and she'd get it done that week.

The amazing thing is that I came back from lunch today and had a voicemail that said the following:

"I'm calling to let you know your homestudy has been given to my supervisor because I pulled it out and went 'ahhh, I just have this small section'... so I updated that and sent it to my supervisor. You will get a letter when it is approved"

So now I just need to understand how to get a new worker once my homestudy is approved.

[leaabc123]

best bet is probably to talk with a supervisor.

good luck!

[2boyz1girl]

I agree the system is HORRIBLE. We have the added problem of dealing with two counties because we have moved out of the state that our dd was originally placed. Lets see here, social services FINALLY decided to file for termination last Dec., the hearing was set FOUR months out. The bfather relinquished in April, but was missing ONE hour of counseling, it took social services TWO months to get him to it, then another month to get the homestudy request to our state. We lucked out and got a brand new adoption worker (otherwise we would have had 40 cases ahead of ours). She hopped right on the case and finished our homestudy last week (we were told it could take up to SIX months!) Now we're waiting for the other state to approve our homestudy and adoptive placement.... It never ends! Be grateful that you're still counting in weeks, and not months. Are you getting licensed just to adopt? Or is it for foster care? In our state, the licensing worker for foster care does just the licensing, every child has their own worker that you will have to deal with. The adoption workers only take over the case once an adoptive placement is approved, so they won't be on our case for long anyway. Most states have a required period that the child has to be in your home before you adopt, usually six months (assuming the child is already free for adoption), but that is probably the longest you would have to put up with this worker if she is an adoption worker. If you really can't stand her, talk to her supervisor and see if things shape up.

[mommyo]

I am a new foster parent, and was dismayed by the amount of time and red tape it takes to get through anything in this system. It tooks us 9 months to get licensed. we had all of our training done and application turned in in about 6 weeks, but they were always pawning things off. It looks like now we are going to be adopting our first placement fd, so we will begin all of the court, and additional scrutiny I guess.
It's a shame that this is such an added hassle for those of us who are just trying to help these children.
HAng in there!

[Betti]

While you are waiting read the post on "How do you handle this" which is two posts above yours!