We are in the process of adopting a fantastic little girl. She's a 1-1/2 yr old foster child. She's been living with us for two months now. Our problem is that she is still having adjustment issues. She cries when we put her to bed even though we've met all her needs (ie. fresh diaper, fed, drink, read a book, rocked, etc.). Also, almost all the time she poops while in bed whether it be night or nap time and it's pretty much always the runs. We figure that it's a psychological problem because we have made sure she has a healthy diet.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to what might be going on and a possible solution?

-Rick

[spaypets]

How much juice is she drinking? Is she on formula or milk?

If she always has diarrhea it could be some sort of food sensitivity--the crying could be a belly ache.

Originally posted by spaypets
How much juice is she drinking? Is she on formula or milk?

If she always has diarrhea it could be some sort of food sensitivity--the crying could be a belly ache.

I don't think the crying is a belly ache because it's pretty much only when we put her to bed that she cries.

She has been drinking milk up until just the other day we bought her some Lactade (lactose free milk) to see if it helps. So far nothing's changed.

This reminds me of yet another problem which we think is psychological as well. She eats way too much if we let her. She is extremely interested in food. We suspect it's a comfort thing.

I think it's all due to being neglected in her foster home and a lack of a sense of security. Maybe over time things will get better on their own as long as we give her lots of love. I just need some experienced advice to give me a better sense that I'm heading in the right direction

[spaypets]

Still, you might want to rule out a sensitivity to corn or wheat--what does your pediatrician say?

[szypzz]

Two months is such a short time. I have an adopted 8-year-old who has been here for a year and still doesn't like to go upstairs on his own, daytime or night. Just give it some time and do have the allergy angle checked out by a dr. familiar with adoption issues, but really 8 weeks is way too soon to expect all of her adjustment issues to go away. In fact, the honeymoon was just ending for us at about 8 weeks and then real life began.

[manon]

Has the pediatrician checked for parasites? That would be a stool sample type test. I'm assuming this is a domestic (not international) placement, but it's possible to contract giardia or another parasitic disease anywhere. Especially if she has ever been in any kind of daycare situation.

It's a long shot, but I'd discuss that question with the pediatrician if I were you.

Poor little one! And poor parents! I know you hate for bedtime to be so traumatic for her.

Sometimes I sit in my little girl's bedroom if she is having trouble being left alone, but I have found it works best if I sit a little ways away from her crib (so she can't reach me) and if I ignore what she's saying or trying to get me to say & I just keep softly singing (so she knows I'm still there).

[tlc4kidz]

Sounds like the bedtime stuff is pretty normal for any 18 month old, but especially given her move to a new home. Hopefully it is a good sign that she has attached to you and when you leave the room she is having some seperation anxiety. I agree with the other poster that 2 months is a pretty short time to see a change.

We have a 17 month old who we've had from 2 days that just started not wanting to go to bed....could just be a developmental stage, too. She also has rarely had formed stools and was on Nutramigen for 15 months, and now Lactaid. If she gets any milk at all her stools get REALLY runny, but seems to be able to tolerate yogurt, cheese and such. Not to be gross, but are your daughter's stools runny or watery? Watery could indicate a bacteria, but runny or loose probably dietary. Also, does she EVER have formed stools? You might have to try playing around with her diet to see if anything makes a difference. Grapes or grape juice are another thing that gives our fd diahrrea. Not trying to sound like a know-it-all, but I've been a pediatric nurse for 12 years and have worked in a ped's urgent care....seen lots of poop!!

[spaypets]

Any juice can give a child diarrhea--and sugar is a laxative too so sweets might be the culprit.

My DD exploded a couple of times after eating lots of tomatoes and another time after drinking Pediasure (she came to us a little underweight and the doctor wanted to fatten her up--we decided that wasn't the way to do it!).