[MommyofEli]

Hello,
I have been a lurker on here for a while and have read a lot of things that put a smile on my face and some that have made me cry
But, I really want to know if anyone has been looked over as much as we have. To tell you a little bit about myself... I am a stay at home mom of a wonderful 8 month old little boy. We have a large yard and a fairly large house( totaly kid proof). We are excepting kids 0-3 years because I don't want a child to be too much older than my child plus I don't want any school age kids because my son sleeps till 8 in the morning and around here kids have to be at school at 7:30. I just think that age would be best for right now. I have wanted to foster for years but now feel that I have the time (because I'm at home now) to help children that need it. I went to the foster parent asso. meeeting and was talking to everyone and they are all full. The pres. of the asso. said that a 1 year old was just moved to another county because ther was no one to take him. I just don't understand. We were not called. I think the child was very speacil needs... so maybe the workers didn't think it would be something that would be good for a first time placement( might scare us off) That what I am telling myself anyway....I wish I knew why we were not even asked. Has that ever happen to anyone? I know the SW like us....We have met them all when we signed our paper work and they told us how happy they were to have us that we were need to badly....and now they don't even call......Whats going on?

Sorry I rambled so......But I just don't get it.

[rights]

Please call them and tell them your concerns. It might be something as small as, they forgot to add you to the call list. Don't give up, you are needed. In our office there is always so much going on and so many different task assigned to cw, it would be easy to miss something like this.

[MommyofEli]

I don't want to bother them...I heard the sw talking about people being "over bearing" Calling them all the time...and so on.
You don't think that they will take it the wrong way and think that I am questioning how they do there job. I did have some of the other foster parents say when I told them that I have not had any one to call yet that I must have made the sw mad. I know thats not ture because other than talking to them at the paper signing I have not talked to them since. I guess I will call them and just make sure we are on the list....Thank you!

[rights]

There are some foster parents that will call daily for issues that they should be able to handle theirselves such as, Sally lost her shoes and refuses to look for them. I am a foster parent, I don't work for the state but, I have watched alot in the last 7 years that I have been a foster parent. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt whenever possible because it makes my job less stressful. There will always be cw that complain no matter what you do so just do what is best for the child. Don't worry about what they say. I have at times made them angry and it is true that they won't call you for awhile but that is not always the case. Keep your head up!

[tlc4kidz]

Some of the sw's I have talked to have told me they generally place infants with those families they are already familiar with. Not sure why....probably just an easy placement that they know they will be comfortable with. Do you know any other fp's well enough to have them give the sw your name and number if they get a call? That's how we got our first couple.


You didn't mention how long you have been licensed? Do you have a seperate licensing worker assigned just for you? If so, that's who I would start with because he/she should be the one to advocate for a placement for you. I know the wait seems FOREVER....I remember. It's also a weird thing to be hoping for because in order for you to get a child another parent has to fail. I have always had mixed feelings about that, even though I know there are plenty of kids out there.

Keep us posted when you get the call....I don't think it's out of line AT ALL to call every 2-3 months and remind them you have an opening. You might just ask the worker when you call what they see as acceptable and what they think crosses the line into pestering. They probably will appreciate your honesty.

[MommyofEli]

I called and talked to one of the sw. She told me that I was on the list but....I would not have wanted I get that little girl... that she is a bad one year old. I said, I was not even talking about a little girl.... I was talking about a little boy... She said that the I would not have wanted the little bot either. So they have let two children go to another county with out calling me. I called me husband and told him what was said. He said that he thinks that we were not on the list be they did not want to say that. I hope he is right. Other wize I don't know why we are not being placed.

[rights]

Try to get some rest because word will get around and they will be calling you, probaly in the middle of the night. Isn't a one year a little too young to label? P.S., it is very hard for them to admit when they make a mistake.

[hope21]

When I was starting out I was in a small county and my preferred ages of 0-3 were pretty limited already, but that's what I felt most comfortable with for my first placement. I hadn't heard from anyone in over a month (maybe that doesn't seem long to you though) so when I happened to run into a CPS worker in the parking lot of a grocery store I took the oppurtunity to introduce my self and let him know that I was ready, willing and excited to get started. He was very pleasant and we got a call that very week that we took in. I found out later that there are 3 cps workers in our county and he did the removal and thought we'd be "perfect for the placement" and recommended us. You never know what will help!

[MommyofEli]

I think a one year old is very much too young to lable too.
I think that they forgot to put us on the list. I'm not so much in a hurry to get a child (because I know what has to happen to get one) but when one does come in I would like to be able to help and to give the child the love that our family has to give.
When the other foster parents were talking about how busy it was and I had no idea what they were talking about.......I just was a little upset. Oh well.

[leenab]

1 yr olds can be labeled. Think about it: The child could have been born exposed to alcohol (FAS), been sexually or physically abused or severly neglected and need a more experienced home.

We had an emergency placement of a 17 month old and he was a Terror. He ended up being evaluated and labeled. He was also delayed. We kept him for 2 weeks until a long term home could be found.

One thing to remember if you're accepting children right out of a biofamily situation they are going to be more difficult than a (non-foster child) child the same age.

Please don't expect any fosterchild to be problem free.

-LeenaB

[MommyofEli]

I understand what you are saying...I guess they can be labled. I was just upset about the fact that no one has called us about a placement at all, while they are sending the kids to other counties. At least call us and ask. They don't know what we can handle. (we don't either) And will never know if we are not placed. But I am just thinking we were not on the list.

[roomformore]

My husband and I are also waiting for our first placement. At first we were licensed thru one agency for a couple of months and then found out that DFS were not even using them to place kids which is why we never got a placement. So we switched to another agency which took a couple of months and STILL have not gotten our first placement. I know another foster mom who uses this same agency and she always has kids-she knows someone at the agency though. I am beginning to think the whole foster care system is very political-who you know and all that.

[MommyofEli]

I'm sorry to hear that roomformore. I would think that they would want to place a child where he or she would be best taken care of. But to be nice I quess maybe they might be very comfortable with some of the foster parents that they know. I'm just tring to be positive about this whole thing. I keep hearing that when we finally get the call and they see we are good... the calls will not stop. We will just have to see.

[Home is Fun]

Hello Roomformore,

I am very new to this wonderful sight and read your note. I am a foster parent for the past six years and soon will be adopting a sibling group of four within the calendar year (Oct??)

I would simply call the social worker and explain what you did to us and express that you and your husband are truly ready and don't want to be over looked. Ask them if they could at least give you the information about the child(ren) so you could have a chance to decide whether or not you could handle it.

Good luck and getting your first placement. Don't be shy and call your worker so they know that you are excited to dive into fostering.

[stepforone]

MommyofEli - give them the benefit of doubt. I don't think you mentioned how long you have been licensed. If what they said is true then be grateful that they are trying to match you with a child that you can handle. They don't want to put a child with you that is too difficult because they don't want to scare you off and they don't want a disrupted placement if they can avoid it. A lot of placement workers wouldn't care, we've been called with lots of children that don't fit our 'profile' (wronge age/sex) so obviously someone isn't looking things over before they make the phone call here. Keep praying that the first placement will be a good fit and have faith that the system does work and a child will come to you soon. Good luck.