[julieanne]

Hello everyone,

I am beyond discouraged at this point. I never thought a HS would take a year.

After WEEKS of trying to follow-up on my status, I FINALLY found out that my social worker was being promoted and that is what led to my reassignment. However, DYFS nor my social worker had taken the initiative to call or write me, evne though I was calling continuously wondering if I had fallen through the cracks. I was told a couple of weeks ago that I would be re-assigned Monday Aug 2. Well, Tuesday I called again and the supervisor said, "Oh no, we can't re-assign you until your homefinder has actually left, and she's still here." WHAT????

If she's still there, seems like she could get her behind back to my house for a second visit. I really just don't get it at this point. And for a long time, I thought we were moving quickly and all the bad talk about DYFS was just being perpetuated by some extreme and unfortunate cases spotlighted by the media.

There is a specific 13-year-old boy I am interested in but he gets to sit in foster care even longer. I had really hoped that we could have visits over the summer months and be in the midst of placement by the time the school year began in Sept. Obviously, that's not going to happen now.

Anyway, I told the supervisor how "eager" I am to get this process done and she says, "Are you going on vacation or something?" No dork! But had I said yes, would that have made them move faster??????

I'd like to send the supervisor a certified letter no later than Monday. Whom else should get a copy? Should I declare I am no longer interested in the process and tell them I am moving on because of their inadequacies? Do you think they'll allow me to come to them for the second interview? (That was how it worked with our private agency -- one interview at home and the second in the office.) I just need some really good advice right now as I am extremely discouraged.

It is just me and my 6-year-old son at home. So when we began the worker said only two interviews would be necessary. Typically, how much time is between the home visits? Our first one was 8 weeks ago. I began PATH training back in Sept. 2003. Everything on my end was submitted a very long time ago -- fingerprints, autobiography, questionaiire pack, medical clearances, references, employment and income verification, etc.

Incidentally, I also had a wonderful job opportunity that would take us to NC from NJ, beginning in Sept. At this point, I dare not move until I know what's going on.

Any advice appreciated.

Jules

[JsMom1]

I feel for you. I don't have any real advice except to let you know the rumors are true. I am in MO and tried adopting from the state but they drove me crazzzzzzy and eventually drove me to a private agency. I guess that is the case for all state assistant agency's. The state gets a large sum of money for each month a child is in foster care, I know that is part of the problem. Do what you must but sometimes if you push to hard they will bury your papers at the bottom of the barrell. Stay prayed up and try and stay calm.

I will keep you in my prayers.

[wrekdiver]

It took us foreveeeer to get our homestudy. I was like you and did the whole "squeaky wheel gets the oil" routine. I called my SW everyday and when she didn't return my calls, I started calling the director every day.
We went thru our classes 9/03 as well but didn't get the home study done until Feb. I told them I wasn't going to wait anymore and they needed to come asap. I didn't really have anything to back it up with since I have no options if they choose to drag butt. But the director ended up doing it herself. I basically asked her if the SW or her couldn't do the study then who was above her. She came out the next week. Then we had to do the psych eval which took another 2 months to get an appt. But it finally happened.
You could send the letter then call the office and ask the secretary who is above the Director. News will travel fast since these offices tend to be small. Good luck Julieanne.
The situation with a particular child you want is tricky. I have quit jobs and decreased my hours in the past for DDS. I was never happy that I did. But if it had worked out for us and even 1 child--I would have done it over again in a second.