[wish41more]

My hubby and I are just starting the fost-adopt process. For those of you that are hoping to adopt through the system, I'd like to know what risk level you are accepting. They say if we only want low risk of unification then we will be waiting maybe 3 yrs for a placement. DH and I want to help these kids so we're trying our best to be open-minded in taking a higher risk child and if we need to let them go it will be hard but alteast we helped. I guess I'm asking, what do you think our chances of being able to adopt a baby are if the baby is a level 2 risk. I'm not sure if the risk levels are the same everywhere so please forgive me if that doesn't make sence.
Thanks for your help.
A
mom to 2yro bs

[riley6]

First off I need to say that I don't foster babies, so I might have a different spin on things. We also got into fostering in the hopes of adopting. Most of the 20+ kids I've taken have been presented as children who would most likely be available for adoption. It is heartbreaking to love and lose, but I wouldn't have traded it for the world now that I DO have the kids I know in my heart were meant to be my children forever.

That being said, NO ONE can give you any kind of guarantee when it comes to tpr. DCFS workers may act like they have all the power, but really only the judge does, and he doesn't need to go by anything (laws). We've had a judge overturn a tpr, bc he felt that kids should be with family no matter what, unless they killed a child, which my kids' parents didn't do. We've had judges give bparents more than the 15 months that the Adoption and Safe Families Act says they should have to get their acts together.

IF you are prepared to let the kids go back, IF you are prepared to have your heart broken, IF you are prepared to have a government agency run your life, IF you are willing to jump through hoop after hoop and live ONLY for today, then go for it. If not, then you should go straight adoption and adopt a child who has already been tpr'd.

Welcome to the forums. I hope you become an active member!

[tlc4kidz]

We are licensed for 0-3, but all of our placements have been under 1, and 5 of the 7 straight from the hospital. Of those 5, 2 have been adopted by other families and we are in the tpr process with another 1 and also have her sib, whose goal is concurrent planning. 1 was returned home and we knew he would be on placement and we were very happy about that....his mom just needed to straighten out some living arrangements.

We did not take any of the placements with intentions of adopting and assumed that all had a chance of either returning home or with relative and were in support of that. I think you have to have that frame of mind in order to be successful and have a positive experience from it. I'm not saying I haven't had days when I was worried sick that one of them might go to an unsafe place, but overall I knew we'd done what we could to advocate and that's all you can do. If you are a major control freak you'll either drive yourself (and your family and caseworkers) crazy or you'll experience alot of growth and realize that it's ultimately God whose in control.

It's been an awesome journey for us. I do know from some of the posts that some places won't license you for infants only. I also think our experience is not typical in the number of infants placed. I am a mother/baby nurse and I think that once the cw's get to know that and know that you are good with infants you tend to get called more. However, our first newborn placement was because they called a friend of ours that fosters and she gave them our name. If you have any medical background or are willing to train there are often preemies who need placement, too. They sometimes start out with oxygen and/or apnea monitors, but with care soon can be off them.

Best of luck in your decision, you are wise to seek info and advice before jumping in!

[wish41more]

Thank you both for your reply. DH and I have alot to think about. We still have 2 classes and the home study so we have awhile.
I'm so glad I found this site!

[kyleashmom]

We got licensed 5 yrs ago as foster/adopt. We thought we would want a boy around my bio son's age at the time (5). So we licensed 0-7 either boy or girl. But we really were not looking for an infant at all.

We were licensed one month when we got the call about our daughter, she was 4 months old at the time and legal risk. We went for it and 6 months later we finalized the adoption.

One yr later we foster two girls, they ended up staying with us for 3 yrs and moving on into an adoptive home with their brothers.

We are not in the process of adoption our new son L which is 9 yrs old. He was legally free for adoption.

I loved fostering the girls, it was hard to let them go but I know that I did all I could for them. It was time for them to have a forever family! They will always be thought about. In Aug it will be 1 yr since they have been gone, we have had contact with them every now and then.

Debbie
www.adoptme.8m.com