[AlekseiGirl]

Hello everyone! I am a newbie to the board and the entire foster care process. I am in the midst of getting licensed. I have a bio daughter who is almost three and I am hoping to adopt one or two more girls.

My question is this: I originally wanted to foster a sibling set or a girl between the ages of 2-6. The foster child and my dd will be sharing a room. But, my fear is that the foster child may hurt my bio daughter in some way while we are all sleeping. I know a lot of foster children have been sexually abused and of course my biggest fear is to have this happen to my bio daughter. I know there is a great need for homes for older kids and I really want to help out. But, I wonder if for the safety of my bio daughter it would be better to stick with children younger than her?

Any experience you have had with this situation, or ideas you have for preventing harm to your children would be greatly appreciated!

[lucyjoy]

I would not allow the children to share a room and would not take any children older than my youngest child.

[AlekseiGirl]

Thank you for your reply. I am beginning to think that is the best choice.

[ccemtp63]

I also have a 3 year old bio child and requested children that are younger than him. I did foster a little girl that was only three weeks older than my son and I had a very difficult time. As with many children the upbringing was very different and I had a very hard time with the two children being together. My foster daughter became physical when she didn't get her way and I was concerned about her safety, my son's, and my then 5 month old foster child. I was assured that it was acceptable to specify ages of children you will take in but this particular child's caseworker was obviously not please when I would not keep this child long term and age was one of my reasons. Stick to your own personal feelings on this as you are the only one who can decide what is best for you, your family and this ultimately affects the children you take in.

[Sylvester]

I have two girls now ages 6 and 3. We have stopped fostering. It was way too much. My kids were not getting the attention they were use to having and it started creating behavior problems. I also felt the foster kids were not getting the time and compassion they needed. When you have 4 kids 5 and under, you are very busy with laundry, dishes,etc. We had a sibling group, 3 yr old girl and 18 mth boy, the girl was very physical with my little one. We had them removed from our home, I could not take my eyes off her when she was by my little one.

As far as them sleeping in the same room with your daughter. I would never do that. You can never be 100% sure as to what foster kids have been exposed to. We were not willing to take the chance with our girls.

I wish you luck!!