[Howdy]

I received a flyer for an adoption party event that invites already matched up families too. I suggested to my fd that we go, thinking free food and a chance for her to be with "similar others" would be nice. She wants to go, but her mission turns out to be to choose a sister for herself! I've told her I'm not ready for that, and that her caseworker wouldn't allow us to have another kid yet (not sure that is true, but I don't want her to think all she needs to do is talk me into it), and that we couldn't afford to pay twice the summer-camp expense. But she still seems determined to shop for a sister. She is 7 yrs old.

Has anyone taken their foster/adopt kids to these kind of events? Do you think she'll realize when she is there that it isn't really a place to just pick out a sister? Or can a 7 yr old not be trusted not to suggest to some kid that they can come home with us, even though its been explained to her that we would not be allowed to make overtures to any kids?

If we do go, and she sees the books of pictures of waiting kids, what do I say if she asks questions. She was not in a book, how would the books/pictures/process be explained to a 7 yr old who is a legal risk child with strong hopes of getting to go back to her birthparents?

[HappyMomAnna]

Oh I think I might pass this time around...

Yesterday Makala was watching TV and they had one of those Christian Children Network adds on about 'adopting' a child with no shoes--no food--no school---Makala was all excited and asked if we could do this---thinking she might have understood I told her that might be a nice thing we could do---then she went on to say that the kid will be sent to us in the Mail!!!!

When I told her how it works and that we would only be sending the child money and we would only get pictures and letters but that the child we adopted would stay in thier own country it was a fight for at least an hour!

Our daughter wants to adopt another child too...and she does not shut her mouth about it... Memorial weekend friend who died last year--son came to our home for respite from his Foster Home and Makala would NOT SHUT UP about how bad those people were to not adopt him....how he needed to ask me to adopt him because we have an extra bed in the play room....It really hurt my friends son...he got so irritated he snapped at her and told her to mind her bizz--his mother died and he doesnt want a new one....

Besides I am not all that crazy about adoption fairs these children are so eager to find parents and so hurt sometimes after these events when no one wanted them....They are illegal in my state.

[Waiting_Family]

In my area (Northern CA), only prospective parents and adoptable foster kids and sws are allowed at the picnics. We are encouraged to interact with ALL the kids, not just the ones we are interested in. We are told the rules before the children arrive. We are not allowed to bring our own children.

I just went to one last month, and met a nice older girl, who spent time with me, although I introduced her to other families, and offered to leave her for a while so that she could meet other families, and she didn't want me to. We are going to a match meeting about her in 2 weeks . But I did feel bad that she came with a carload of three other kids, whom I did interact with, but she and I happened to click. Now I see that the sib set that came with her, the sw is still looking for a family for them (and they were really nice kids, I just don't have enough room!). So I don't know how they are told on the other end...they are old enough to realize what is going on, but hopefully they understand that not everyone will find their forever family at the picnic. The picnic organizers have lots of fun events and crafts to do, so hopefully they had some fun, too.