[amaz5]

Hey y'all. Just feeling a little down today. The court hearing regarding TPR for our youngest was yesterday and the decision was made to fast track the date to finalize TPR. I don't really understand the whole process but apparently, the bmother is given six months to voluntarily terminate even if the child is removed from her care. At least, that how it was explained to me. Bmother does not want child and has returned to her former life of drugs etc (she's under 18). So, the court decided to forgo the six months and do it in 4 months instead. That's the soonest they could get it done.
The CASA worker had been very friendly with me up to this point but when I called her yesterday to see how things went in court, she was distant and a little chilly towards me. I was taken aback but I asked my questions and was very nice and thanked her for the info. She strongly encouraged me to be at the formal TPR court date so we will make definite plans to attend but will NOT be taking the child. The bmother has stated she has no interest in visitation or the like and the caseworkers have not forced any visits.
After speaking with the CASA, I remembered that she is not my friend but she is the advocate for the bmother and her primary concern is the bmother not me. I had forgotten that in the course of our developing a relationship and she being so friendly. It all came back to me like a splash of ice cold water yesterday so I guess it's making me feel a little down. The CASA has stated she does not believe the bmother capable of caring for nor wanting to care the child and has said she will testify to that in court. But she's become very emotionally attached to the girl (taking her shopping and out to lunch etc) and even considered adopting the girl herself. The CASA and her spouse decided against it because they are at the point in their lives where they aren't ready nor do they have any desire to be parents.
So, just needed to vent. I'm sure I'm not the first to feel this way and I won't be the last. Just wanted to get it off my chest. Our little ones bring the reality of the situation home to our hearts and remind us what's truly important. THEY are what matter and we will definitely be their parents in the legal sense of the word soon even though we are already mommy and daddy in every other sense.
Thanks for reading.

--Emmy

[HeatherRene]

Hey Emmy...
I just wanted to let you know that I've said a prayer for you that you would be able to get through the process quickly and effortlessly.
I'm sorry you felt slighted, and hope that it was just a one time thing. Maybe she was just having an off day. Good luck, Emmy.

hugs,

[mckenna]

casa workers are NOT advocates for bparents. they are the child's advocate. there job is to recommend what is in the best interest of the child. not the bparents or the foster parents.

are you wanting to adopt the child? if so, you will need a lawyer. the bmother should have her own lawyer (which the state will provide for her). it is definatly not the casa worker.

sorry you are feeling down. it gets to you sometimes when the child seems to get lost among all the legalities.

[Gwen]

I am glad you cleared that up...I was pretty confused about the CASA representing bmom...
Any way hold your head high, it sounds if your on your way to being mom and dad forever....It won't be long (in the grand scheme of life)...
Hope things start looking up
Gwen

[HappyMomAnna]

Actually my understanding of a CASA postion is that they follow the child through Foster Care and are advocates of the citizens of the State and their interest in seeing that the best interest of the child is upheld. "Court Appointed Special Advocate."

The actual duties of this role might vary from one state to another. Generally in my state, Oregon, the position is to watch the state in order to insure that the best interest of the child is held as the primary concern.

I personally have never heard of situations where the CASA became this intamately involved with the child. Nor have I ever heard of situations where a CASA was an adoptive placement of a child they were watching through the system. My best bet is that this would be a huge conflict of their job duties.

I wonder if you CASA was simply tired and stressed out during your last conversation....CASA are also generally unpaid...so there is a great chance you CASA just felt used up that day?

[mckenna]

CASA - means court appointed special advocate. their job is to make sure that the child has a voice.

[HappyMomAnna]

Mckenna--

I did just check our states CASA system and You are correct it is a "Court Appointed Special Advocate."

However, in our state the word special is not used to only define the child....but the interests of the State.

I think this MIGHT be one of those issues that could vary by state. Our CASA system was only implimented after a general vote of the public...demanding a watch-dog system for the social services in order to protect the Child and The State from any failure of the system.

I stand corrected on my post above--time permitting I may choose to edit it right now!

[eek40]

Hi not sure if I can help, but I will give it a go. I am a CASA in Oklahoma, programs vary from state to state. CASA is not an advocate for anyone but the child. We do what is best for them, in "most" cases that is to try and get them reunified with their natural parents.

I would imagine that when you spoke with the CASA she was tired, or just frustrated. I am on a case right now where I want to pull my hair out daily. Sometimes I dont do a good job hiding it and it comes across in my voice.

We all get attached to our cases in one way or another. Its hard when the children have been thru hell and back to not get close to them, they go thru social worker after social worker, foster familys, group homes..etc and we are sometimes the only constant in their life. Lawyers change even but once assigned to a case normally a casa always has it. For example one of my friends in CASA had a case three years ago that closed, it just went back into the system, he is the CASA again. I know I have wanted to take these kids myself sometimes and adopt them, but I also know its not possible for me to do right now, nor in their best interests.

Sometimes CASA appears to be advocating for the parents, but in reality its always for whats best for the children. I have a court appointed duty to make sure that I investigate all aspects of the families life, I can access things that lawyers cant, medical records, school records, psychologists, etc. I can search for members of the family that maybe willing to be a guardian temporarly or permentaly.

I say that in the OP's situation it looks like TPR will happen, and that the CASA agrees with it, so breathe and hang on until the courtdate is over I hope all goes well.
Aimee

[amaz5]

Hi everyone, thanks for all your responses. I wasn't quite clear in my initial post so here's a little clarification. The CASA worker is the bmother's and the children's in this particular case as the bmother is in care herself. The children have come from the bmother while she's been in care and have been removed subsequently (beginning with the first at age 1). I haven't met or heard of any other CASA worker being involved except for the supervisor of the CASA worker I have met.
We are adopting all 3 through the state once the last child is legally free for adoption and the state mandated waiting period has passed. And all 3 are under the age of 3! whew!!
The CASA worker has been advocating for what she feels is best for the children (as she told me when we first met) but she is very personally involved with the bmother as more than just a CASA worker (I explained in my initial post).
She was appointed as the CASA worker when the girl was first placed into foster care (after the birth of the first child).
She's always been very nice and friendly and warm towards us so I'm going to chalk it up to her having had a bad day. With working full time as well as handling this case, I'm sure it can't be easy. I won't take it personally.
Plus, she has invested alot of time and effort in helping the bmother to make better choices and plans for the future which seems to have fallen on deaf ears (based on recent behavior). That has got to be discouraging and heartbreaking.
Anyway, thanks everyone for your kind words, prayers, and the helpful info. I appreciate it.
Take care,
Emmy

[AlbanyKaren]

It's simply NOT ok if the CASA is considering adopting the child herself - that she's thinking it nor that she told her about it. PLEASE talk to the caseworker and child's attorney about this. This is a HUGE conflict of interest and could even screw up the TPR proceedings if she is a key witness.

If bio mom doesn't have an interest in being involved or working toward reunification, why doesn't she ask to sign a voluntary relinquishment now and get it over with?

When did the child come into your care? If the child has been there for 6 months or more, you can apply for intervenor status (requires filing a motion with the acting judge, which usually requires hiring an attorney yourself) so that you can start having some legal rights in this case.

What state are you in? Have you looked up the foster care/adoption policies and procedures on your states' website? I highly recommend it.

Good luck - Karen

[CoolDonna]

Iam in a situation , I have had a little girl for 14 months. Bmom just started a rehab 4 months ago. Bfather has so many issueswith anger. He has not started any anger management. I just found out that the csw is recommending 6 more months because she say's "Bmom is doing something" a year later. Iam soooo attached to this little girl. I don't feel that she has been there priority. I need advice. I will keep you in my prayers.
Donna

[amaz5]

Karen, baby has been with us since 2 days old (now 3 mo). Bmom refused to sign voluntary relinquishment because of fears the bfather possibly might want to fight for custody and claims he threatened her when they last saw each other (he did not know about her pregnancy or the baby). He was informed of the baby after the birth because of state law. He has no interest in baby and will be signing voluntary relinquishment. She has now run away and is suspected to be living with bfather or thereabouts again. Very twisted situation.
In any case, judge has pushed the TPR up to as soon as legally possible and cw's all tell us that TPR will happen without any problems. We won't breathe easy until it does.
We haven't heard from the CASA and won't call her unless absolutely necessary. We are going straight through the cw's from now on.
The adoption will take place 30 days after TPR and will be classified as a "sibling adoption" as we are finalizing on the other siblings this month.
I am researching like crazy to help us be prepared and informed.
We are also contacting an attorney.
Thanks for all the info and encouragement. I appreciate it more than words can say.

--emmy