[seashel]

Help!
My hubby and I gave our 30 day notice to have our fd's moved. The 30 days is up on May 25th and I still don't know when they are going. (Plus we are leaving for a weeks vacation the same day) They have found another foster home for the youngest, but the oldest who is 4 and has RAD, they still don't know if she will be going to a treatment center or what. Her therapist said that all of our agency (private) homes are full and so is the county and that she doesn't know where she may go. I feel really bad, but having this kiddo and dealing with all her RAD issues, etc. has really taken its toll on us. I am whipped emotionally, phsically, mentally etc. I have an auto immune disease that has kicked into high gear lately trying to deal with all of this. Am I being unreasonable. Shouldn't they have this all figured out by now, here it is the 17th. The 25th is only a week away. I already told our therapist last week that I was barely hanging on by a thread, and that it was all I could do to get through these last few weeks. She go really short w/me. But, hey in our PATH classes they kept telling us "You have to take care of yourself first and foremost, I'm trying to do that, and am getting the cold shoulder. Our fd w/RAD will see the therapist tomorrow. I'm really hoping that she has some more info about when and where, but what if she doesn't then what do we do.
ThanksQ

[saj]

Having been a foster parent, I would venture to say that they will wait until the very last day. I would hope that they would make sure that the new foster parents know what they are up against, are trained in dealing with attachment disorders and committed to going with her for the long hall.

Sincerely,

Saj

[karenn]

I do know of some foster families that have very kindly told their social worker that if the child does not have a place to go by the time you leave on vacation you will be dropping her of at her office at 8:30 am. I do not think I could ever follow through with such a threat, but if you are desperate you might have to. If it does come to that you might want to take her stuff to a friends house and then take her to the office rather than dumping her and her stuff on the doorstep. Just give the worker the adress of where her things are and they can go pick it up. A kinder way would be to have respite care lined up in case the worker does not find someone.

[gail/john]

Take care of yourself!!!!! We were talked into fostering (We repeatedly said we only wanted to adopt, but were told fostering to adopt was the only way to go.) When we found out that the child ( 4 years olds) would probably be returned to her mother we told the DCS we needed to return the child (We were, of course, becoming/was very attached to her. When they did not come for her when they SAID THEY WOULD we took her to the office ourselves. We did not just drop her off! We explained to her how much we had enjoyed her "visit" and how much we thought she was a wonderful little girl. Believe me DCS found a place for her. Don't let them manipulate you.

[shanzelka]

We were in the same situation. We asked for months to have our foster children removed (we were adopting, and with three children in our home who weren't available for adoption, we weren't going to get matched with other children) and finally had to threaten to go to the children's worker's boss by a certain date. You can bet she took care of it at that point.

[Kate1129]

How'd it go? Did they come and get the children?

[shanzelka]

As a matter of fact she did. We had to threaten to go to her boss, and we set a date. She took care of it on that date. I think she's been fired since then. That was back in January. We've since been matched with a 10 year old girl whose adoption should be final this fall. Oddly enough, the original kids may not be going home after all. We're trying to get the 11 year old girl back into our home, and hopefully keep her. Weekend visits start in a couple of weeks. We want her whether it's to foster or adopt, but we're hoping to adopt her.