[jamie3]

I have not had the greatest of weekends with the boys. I am so tired (as I always am at the end of the school year) and I haven't been just really patient. I was really stressed, tired and hungry at lunch today and I told my husband that I just wasn't coping with the stress of little kids very well. He is working this weekend so he was just home for a lunch break.

Anyway, we talked about what we should do and he went back to work. We decided to give it some more time and see if I feel better after school is out.

Not 30 minutes after he left, an old friend of ours stopped by. I thought that he probably wanted dh to help with his cattle or something (common) so I let him in. It turns out that he was stopping by to ask us to speak at a public informational meeting about foster care. This area is very rural and very short on foster parents. They want dh and I to come speak to people who are interested in foster care and let them know what our experience is and what our rewards are.

It was a huge wake up call. I realized the second that he asked me to do this that I do have something positive to say about foster care and I really do have a reason to continue. I know that this is not the easiest thing in the world but it's a heck of a lot better than these kids being in the environment they were in. It made me think of why we are doing this and why we are going to continue doing this.

Within one hour I went from wanting to run away from all children to wanting to encourage others who have been led to foster care to give it a shot. I have noticed that I am secluding myself from going many places because I don't want to have to drag all of the kids. However, I think that I need adult interaction and it would be worth it to go out and do instead of staying home and pouting. DH is always going to work a lot of the hours that I am home and nothing can change that. However I can change my lifestyle and not spend the weekend at home cleaning just because he is at work. How much fun is that?

I think I'll go to my sister's or something next weekend so that I am not thinking so much about how tired I am. She has little kids who can play with my little kids and she and I can visit.

Anyway, I really believe that God sent Ted to ask me to talk next week and that I really needing to refocus my attention off of all the work and back onto all of the rewards. I feel so much better than I did a few hours ago! I can do this and I am going to do the best job I can!

[riley6]

What a great story! God will continue to send you what you need when you need it, bc you have chosen to follow His will for your life!

Go play and have fun!

[Doxie]

I am happy you are following His will. Some times we need to stop and look at the big picture of things to understand the present. If you are like me........I need to be reminded of that. God works in crazy ways some times and am so thankful He does!

[PinkRibbon]

I think that you are the perfect person to speak to prospective foster parents, because you've had ups and downs and periods of being unsure. They need to hear that while fulfilling, it's not always a walk in the park so that they can make an informed decision. I think that problems occur when parents aren't aware of how hard it can be, as well as the rewards.

[Mammie]

Hi Jamie,

I believe God lead me to read your note. I hope you feel better today. What you suggested - getting out of the house, and getting some adult conversation, is logical. But if you are like me, actually getting around to doing that (with all these other home/foster projects to do) sometimes it takes an act of God before it happens!

Both my husband and I have just went through a rough 24 hour period with the two oldest boys ( soon to be 8 and 3 1/2 years). Both were mad at us for correcting them, and they go through these periods where they like to 'get even'.

The 3 1/2 year old urinated all over the floor twice, and the oldest one deliberately did some things he knew better of, and openly admitted he did it because he did not want to write his sentences (an effective form of disapline we use with him.)

Later, at the dinner table, my husband asked me like three times if I was feeling ok. I had to admit that I was emotionally drained. Deep down inside, I kept thinking WHY am I doing this? Am I sadistic?
Do I really need this mess?

To get a way from the situation for a bit, I ran out to the store to pick up some craft stuff for an up coming birthday party. I took the foster baby with me. While waiting in line, someone struck up a conversation with me, and it came out that I was a foster parent...well, they had all sorts of questions!

After I answered them all, I got in the van and realized that even though I had the day from hell -- God can take all that is evil and work it out for good! I went into that store still fuming over the crap of the day...but deep down inside, when the rubber hit the pavement, I wasn't ready to throw the baby out with the bath water, and I still could be a cheerleader for foster parenting!

Take on that privillage of talking to a group of potential foster parents! Tell them the good, the bad, the ugly! Good luck!